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desperate

Posted , 6 users are following.

alison78270
alison78270

i am desperate i feel there is noway to stop me feeling like i do i just dont want to live anymore i feel everybody hates me especially my children my daughter is 25  and my son is 20 ihave a 11 years old daughter aswel. my 2 older children have caused me alot of upset over the years they use bad language to me txt me horrible messages ive always put my kids first and dont know why they hate me it was my 50th lat week iwas on my own icreid all day no one cares mother day was the same i planned in my head to hang myself but then read its not guranteed i had planned it for today even got the rope i rather do something that will be quick im worthless an evil wife mother daughter sister i dont dont deserve to be here

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • anne240
    anne240 alison78270

    Posted

    Oh Alison I have many times said I hated myself, and it is the depression talking.  It makes us so negative.  I know how you are feeling, and I am so sorry.  Please don't think about taking your own life.  I took an overdose once, but I am still here.  Your family would be devastated, even if you don't think they care.  I am sure they don't hate you.  Why do you think everyone hates you?  Do you really believe that, or do you think the depression is making you feel like that?

    You deserve to be here.  Many times I read the same thing, that people with depression think they don't deserve to be here, that everyone dislikes them, and they hate themselves.  If you have read other people's messages here you will no that many people with depression feel like this.  Believe me it is the illness that makes you think these things.

    What help are you getting from doctors? Are you taking anti depressants?  Please get help.  I have been where you are, but I have battled so hard because I do not want the illness to win.  Yes it does take everything away from us, I know.  It is a terrible illness.  Keep writing here, and I am sure you will get great support.  We all know how you feel, we have all been where you are, believe me. 

    Take care, and don't do anything rash please, I beg you.

  • celtics
    celtics alison78270

    Posted

    hi alison i cant believe your family i would never treat my mother like they treat you ! please have some belief in your self if your kids cant behave ask them to either leave or moderate there behaviour. ! please dont go and think about suicide your worth more than that ! try phoning the samaritans they are really good and listen ! please let me know how you get on please ! david
  • Nessie91
    Nessie91 alison78270

    Posted

    Hi

    you have to makes an appointment with your GP as a matter of urgency.  Equally, call the Samaratins or Life Link to give you someone to talk to.  There is also GAMH Or your nearest Community Health Office.  You can refer yourself for cognitive therapy treatment, if you live in Glasgow.  Unfortunately, antidepressants will take about 4 weeks to kick in but the GP could give you something faster acting like a beta blocker as a temporary measure.  If you have done your best for your children, the they're lucky to have you and you can do no more + some people cope better than others with illness a do you are Ill.

  • hypercat
    hypercat alison78270

    Posted

    Hi.  No you are not worthless or evil - it is the depression talking so don't listen to it.   It does sound like you have spoiled your kids rotten and they think they can treat you badly and get away with it.  You need to start putting your foot down and put yourself first for a change sometimes.  

    I do think you have depression so you must go to the doctors as you need a diagnosis.   Med and/or counselling should be able to help you.   And stop being a martyr to your kids as well!  x

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