Desperate for advice

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi all,

Any advice and kind words would be really appreciated right now.

Well..I'm a 20 year old, living with my 23 year old partner of 4 years. We both have full time employment. I'm in the IT sector (relitvely well paid with qaulifications behind me) and he is in the construction industry.

I've been using the pill but have just found out I'm 4(ish) weeks pregnant and I'm freaking out. I know straight away that I will be keeping this baby but I need advice...seriously need advice. I'm very mature for my age, had to grow up quick due to personal circumstances etc and I'm in a very loving and loyal relationship (we plan to marry in the future also). My father is quite judgemental too so I would need advice particualry on how to tell him and how to deal with his reaction. 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi thor,

    I can totally relate! When I was your age, same thing happened to me and like you, my dad (I thought) was pretty judgemental too. To my surprise though, once I found the courage to tell him, he was surprisingly calm, and even happy. I think the thought of him having a little one now that, was actually a part of him, began to sink in. His grandbaby <3  i="" suggest="" to="" find="" a="" point="" in="" time="" where="" your="" dad="" is="" calm="" and="" in="" a="" good="" mood="" cheesygrin^="" not="" adviced="" to="" tell="" him="" when="" he's="" already="" having="" a="" bad="" day="" but,="" when="" there's="" an="" evening="" when="" all="" is="" calm="" and="" make="" sure="" he's="" already="" had="" food="" too!="" a="" full="" dad="" is="" a="" happy="" dad cheesygrin="" if="" your="" mom="" and="" dad="" are="" together,="" i="" would="" suggest="" maybe="" telling="" mom="" first?="" she="" could="" help="" you="" tell="" dad,="" but="" if="" no="" mom="" then,="" yep="" make="" sure="" dad="" is="" full="" and="" happy="" cheesygrin^ ="" i="" could="" almost="" bet="" that="" he="" takes="" this="" news="" better="" than="" you're="" imagining.="" i="" wish="" you="" the="" best="" of="" luck="" too!="" there's="" some="" valuable="" info="" here="" to="" be="" found="" and="" you're="" going="" to="" make="" fabulous="" parents=""><3 >

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    • Posted

      Thank you soo much Sheryl. I really hope he does take it relatively ok as although he's judgemental we are soo close and I love him unreal amounts! I'm just so worried he will be upset and unsupportive. I'm missing out on being excited due to being so worried! I will leave it a while though before I tell anyone I think until my first scan..or would you disagree? My partner knows of course.

      I'm also a bit worried of people being judgemental because of my age..but I already love this baby sooo much :-)

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    • Posted

      Utmost welcome you are smile You, thor, are going to make an amazing parent and I can already tell that you'll be better than most other parents I've seen. 

      I do urge you though (you're so cute, you remind me of me back then) to settle down the nerves, tell him right away so you can focus on enjoying the growth inside you that's happening right now!!! 

      The sooner you tell your dad, the sooner that it'll be out in the open and I just have an instinct that he's going to be allot more supportive than what you're fearing smile

      Please let me know when you do tell him, I'm looking forward to hearing the outcome, and looking forward to hearing how happy that I just know he's going to be. He may be shocked at first, it's a dad's job to be floored when his baby girl has a baby <3 but, once over that initial "whoa" he will be a very supportive dad and grandpapa cheesygrin but,="" once="" over="" that="" initial="" "whoa"="" he="" will="" be="" a="" very="" supportive="" dad="" and="">>

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    • Posted

      Oh my word I just teared up lol! Thank you so much your words are soo kind and he made me feel a lot better. What a lovely person.

      I forgot to say before, my mum and dad are divorced but at the moment still close so I might tell my mun first...that will be a lot easier I think :-).

      I will most definitely let you know how it goes. I have a feeling you will be a great source of advice for other things to..Thank you very much xx

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    • Posted

      I know things will be fine, such a beautiful soul you have, easy to see. With your soul this way, your dad must be amazing too. An easy way to put this into perspective...

      You are your dad's child,, put yourself in your dads place and him yours (if anything, this will bring a smile thinking of your dad pregnant cheesygrin ) but, switch places and... How would you feel, if your dad came to you and told you that he was pregnant with your grandbaby? 

      I can only imagine, that you would answer in pretty much the same way that your dad would. He is a part of you, and you a part of him. The same love that raised you <3  ="" thank="" you,="" thor,,,="" you="" just="" reminded="" me="" of="" days="" gone="" by="" and,,="" tearing="" up="" too,="" reminded="" me="" of="" how="" precious="" it="" was="" when="" my="" dad="" held="" his="" grandbabe="" for="" the="" first="" time,="" the="" tears="" in="" his="" eyes="" too.="" you're="" carrying="" a="" part="" of="" him,="" and="" that's="" the="" most="" beautiful="" gift="" of="" all=""><3>

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    • Posted

      holy cow you got me crying girl! time to sign off here for a bit and go get some fresh air and dry up, lol. 

      First person on here that's made me cry. I love it <3 >

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