Desperate for help!

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Hi im looking for some advice really. I have ptsd and rage is my main issue. 5 weeks ago I had an outburst in front of my 11 yr old stepdaughter. Her dad has taken her and moved out. She won't come near me or my home now. I didn't mean any of what happened, how do I explain this to her. Her dad still loves me and wants to be wiv me but he won't get her to listen. We also have a daughter together who now doesn't have her dad. I desperately want to put things right. My stepdaughter can be very stubborn and often selfish. Her age lol. I want my family back together and I am getting the medical help I need. How do I help her to understand I'm so very sorry and it's not her fault. Please help I'm lost and at my wits end sad many thanks

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  • Posted

    If you are getting help explain that you have taken advice and you need to be a family once more. You were ill and you need their support.  Your daughter also needs the support of both parents. Both sides of the problem need to come to some form of agreement. So have a meeting together with a nice meal at home and all should understand you are looking for a new way forward for all your relationships together


    What treatment are you getting for PTSD.??

  • Posted

    Hi Natasha...

    This is just my opinion; you can take it for whatever you think its worth.

    I have been dealing with PTSD since before it became known and got a name.  Learning to deal with it has been a journey.  I, also, have dealt with rage related issues.  

    You jokingly refer to your step-daughter's age.  It ain't no joke.  Many years ago I inherited a 5 yr old and 12 year step-daughters.  It's in an 11 yr. old step-daughters job description to torment you.  It's what they do.  Hormones.  I used to go into some pretty impressive rants and rages just because my oldest step-daughter was just doing what kids that age do.  

    Based on my experiences, here is what I suggest.  As soon as you "get over it" and realize that you yelled too loud, and it was for no good reason...apologize.  It's not a one time deal.  Until you get things worked out you will have other incidents where you lose control and take it out of someone who doesn't deserve it.  Apologize as quickly as you can.  Talk about it.  Admit you have a problem and are working on it.  

    Understand that regardless of how loving and fair you are, a step-child already has the deck stacked against her in trying to develop a relationship with their ste-parent.  Time helps.  Open communication helps even more.

    Hang in there.  Understanding that the problem is yours is the first step in learning how to not only cope with it, but recover from it.  Best wishes to you.

  • Posted

    You say you are sorry and it's not your fault. Well, it's not your fault either. You are suffering from an invisible illness. You are not at fault but you are responsible for your actions. Self blaming does not help. 

    Follow what shumate suggests and apologise as soon as you are able. Also, if you haven't already, I would try, with the help of her dad, to explain the symptoms of your condition to her so she understands what is going on and isn't frightened by it.

    All the best xx


  • Posted

    Fix you first rule about ptsd is to find friends or family to trust I have the worst ptsd ver diagnoste no friends no family to trust main cause of Cptsd I wish I could help you that would help me 20 year anniversary for me getting the phone call children killed Christmas 1996 worst day of life not even 52 years of worship and I am the scape goat she will co e around trust me fix you sweetie please that is mistake tried to help family just had a titanium plate put in my face Oregon so corrupt I might have a year left honorable vet deans list engineering at 50 worked for intel take care of you ahsatan I tried much love for you sweetie  

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