Desperate for help with toxic family. Please help!

Posted , 2 users are following.

I will make this as short as possible, my name is Jennifer I am 49 years old with two children..8 and 15.  I have two older sisters, one 9 yrs apart, and we are best friends.  My older sister and I are 13 years apart.  Our whole lives my older sister has bullied, pushed around and insulted my entire family.  She is impossible to talk to without exploding into a rage.  She is married and has three childeren.  She treats her husband like crap and has always been a critical and selfish mother.  My nephew who has always been successful, unfortunatley developed and heroin and alcohol addiction along with his wife.  Our entire family and friends watched as they went down hill.  To make this story shorter, after five years of this my sister and I decided to do an intervention to get them help.  They both ended up in rehab and now are clean and sober and doing great.  This happened in 2014.  After this my sister and her husband instead of thanking us for doing what they couldn't do because they were blind and in denial, they started treating my sister and I like garbage.  Including  my children and my sisters twin daughters who are 31 years old.  Her attitude became unbearable.  So after a grueling few months my sister and I decided we had to cut her off.  Now we no longer associate with her and her family.  It is tragic and sad but necessary.  My question is, is I know we did the right thing and the stress has decreased significantly.  But why do I feel more anxiety and panic than ever? can anyone shed some light on this for me...thank you in advance.

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  • Posted

    Family issues are a sticky topic. Toxic people dont discriminate. If she was toxic you did the correct thing by walking away.its never an easy decision when it to comes to family which why you feel so much anxiety, but it can absolutely be necessary.
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  • Posted

    Hi Jennifer, I have an older sister who is bossy, can be really stroppy and has spoilt family get togethers with her mean, selfish behaviour. Consequently we dont see her very often.  You can pick your friends but not your family.  Its  normal to feel a bit guilty about not wanting to bother with her as she is your sister and you have normal feelings but she doesnt, so enjoy life without her.

     

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    • Posted

      Wow! thank you Judy I appreciate your words. It helped me very much. It is so dissappointing when people turn out to be something else than what you thought. But, it's acceptance and nkw it's time to move on. Thanks again!
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