Desperate, help please

Hello greentea, the deep dark hole is horrid. How are you finding the citalopram? For me it worked for a while but then seemed to stop but I am 53 and have been depressed on and off well for 30 or more years. I remember that we do come out of it but I cannot imagine it right now even though I have before.

I am scared too sweetie, sitting at my desk at work but not wanting to even exist let alone talk to colleagues.

We will get through this, thank you so much for your support xx

I just started on the citalopram 4 days ago, so I don't know how well it will work.  It helps me sleep, but still feeling very dark, and lonely.  I am 53 too.  I think this also has something to do witih menopause.  My doctor has me on estrogen.  I know HRT is not good, but I will do anything to try to get out of this black hole.  Please check back in and let us know how you are doing.  Take care, and know that it will get better.  These things don't last forever.

Hello Honey, I have a feeling the menopause will be making this worse, there have been a few other triggers. My GP has not suggested hrt and to be honest I don't want to go there; the tiny increase in zoloft is helping I think.

I feel very lonely, it is hard because you can;t even be bothered to eat or clean sometimes and with no support it is so difficult. Do you live alone?

xxxx

Hi Marie,  I went ahead with the HRT, but I intend to get off it once I have the depression under control.  My husband talked me into it.  I live with my husband and daughter.  Thankfully I have the most understanding husband.  I went to see my doctor last night, and he told me to stop taking the lithium because it may be keeping my antidepressant from working.  I am hoping to feel better soon.  How are you doing?

Thank you Gary, I have been told this but we often don't believe it do we? The world hurts, neglect and cruelty to animals hurts everyday and I spend time on them because otherwise there feels no point in existence but have felt like this since I was 17 so in some ways I have kind of learned to live with it except when something triggers and downward spiral like the one I am in now, new symptoms, scary feelings. Thank you for your support x

Hello Shiraz, thank you for your reply. I have had depression from being a teenager but it has taken different forms and I have tried different meds. I agree that the correct medication or combination of meds is very important. I will report back when I have seen her this evening because I cannot stop crying and I feel rotten and dark in my own skin xx

Marie, thanks for your reply. I really wish you the best from the bottom of my heart as you go see your doctor.

We all are with you as much as you are with us.

Keep in touch.

Hi Marie, you were supposed to see your doc about 2 weeks ago. Did he change your or increased your dose?

How you feeling?

Shiraz.

Hello Shiraz, I did see my GP, think I posted it somewhere on here, she didn't increase my dose but has referred me to a counsellor, however long that is going to take. I have felt so low I have hardly been able to join in the discussions. I am at work and currently cannot see any point at all in being alive.

How are you xxxx

 

Marie, you need to see a psychiatrist, not a GP.  I think your condition needs more expertise.  A GP doens't have the expertise to get you through this.  Get a psychiatrist who will call back when you have questions, and will check up on you every few days as needed.  My psych does that to see how I am on meds, and adjusts if necessary.  Please call the suicide hotline.  I know you can get out of this.  I also think that therapy is good, but yours sounds chemical, so pleases get the right doctor.

Hello Marie

I wondering how you got on at the docs.  I think increasing your dose is a good idea - it's been a grim winter and your serotonin levels are going to be rock bottom anyway which will make you feel like utter hell. You don't suffer from any auto-immune disease do you (you mention RSI) as it has now been established that certain auto-immune problems can interfer with serotonin receptors as setraline is an SSRI. Like you I've got problems with my wrists too - too much typing for a living/RA, SS and RSI seeing my rheumy on Monday oddly enough. Anyway at the moment tucked into my bed, electric blanket on, fairy lights on, burning Yankee candle and surrounded by my cats and just finished watching a film on Netflix - not feeling too bad.  Let me know how you get on with 75mgs

How are you feeling today Elisabeth? I am trying to smile and engage with people at work and I am scared because the weekend is coming up and although I cannot always engage at work, the weekends can be so lonely and dark.

The increase in medication seems to be working slightly in that I don't feel a teary but just feel like I am never going to feel just sort of normal again, mind you, I don't know what normal is anymore. I feel so mentally exhausted that she wanted to sign me off sick but because I will need an operation to relieve the tenosynovitis, I cannot keep going off sick

I don't have an autoimmune condition as far as I know. Your bedroom sounds like a fairy grotto, I do love sparkly lights

How did you get on with the rheumatologist?

Hello Marie

Sorry I've taken so long to respond unfortunately I've just been on a week long 'cocodamal cold turkey' it actually dawned on me that it could be that I'm addicted to an 'opiate' that is causing me to feel so horribly horribly depressed - had a light bulb moment - check your pain killers for they can make your depression I lot worse. My bedroom is like a fairy grotto I do it to cheer myself up - got over 2000 fairy lights - the cats seem to love them too.  Rheumy was fine - its a formality there isn't anything they can do.  Have you bought yourself a 'big' bottle of geranium oil yet?

Liz

Oh my goodness, what is your daily dosage? Have you come off them yourself?  I  take either 50mg tramadol or 30mg codeine a day, is that enought to make it worse do you think?. Sometimes it is 2 but not very often. I do hope it alleviates the depression, I haven't been able to communicate either really, been feeling terrible

Friend gave me some geranium, gorgeous in the bath

xx

 

Hello Marie

I was taking 6 x 30/500 dose of Co-cods a day - which used to give me a lovely happy (not like me to be happy) albeit short lift - but lately I've been so depressed that I started doing some research and came across 'opiate' addiction and depression.  I am somebody who can't take anything that produces a high (alcohol or recreational drugs) for I come down to earth with a horrible bump but because this was a med for some obscure reason it just didn't occur to me.  You are not taking anywhere near as much as I was.  

Buy yourself a burner and burn geranium oil as well and sprinkle it all over your bed.  You can buy it on Amazon (cheaper that H&B) - it does seem to help.  

Liz

Liz