Desperate. Thinking about quitting my job

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Hi everyone. I'm so depressed about this experience but at least I've found this board, I've not been able to talk about this to anyone, not even my friends. Id love to ask some questions to get your take on things:

- Do you guys exercise? It really helps my bowel movements but also I can't help thinking the friction aggravates the fissure. I tried swimming last weekend and though it was ok in the pool when I got out I was in the worst agony I've exerienced yet, and I think i'ts really worsened the fissure.

- Does sitting on it make it worse? This is a big one for me. I have to sit to do my work but as I'll come on to, this is causing problems.

- How long does healing take?

I've had this miserable experience going on since christmas, thought it was a pile, 3 dys ago i've learnt it's a fissure.

I'm desperate, I just don't know what to do. I've been eating nothing but fruit, veg, bran and pulses for the last 2 months. I miss real food SO MUCH but I want to get through this even more. This isn't the worst part though.

I just don't know how I can live my normal life in this way. Ok, so I can just about take sacrificing normal tasty food and I can do without alcohol, but how do you guys do your job? I've tried if for a while and now I just can't go on.

For my job, I sit at a desk most of the day- but it's painful, and It slows my bowel movements right down.

So i've taken some time off work. I said a week to my boss, in the naive hope it might clear up, but so many of the accounts on this board go on for months. I'm just coming to terms to that.

So I'm stuck. I've been looking at my options and I'm considering quitting my job and moving back with my parents until this clears up, I just don't know what else to do if it doesn't heal.

I'm on Anoheal now, and 3 days in i've not noticed much. I'm currently at home, going slowly crazy because I can't do anything productive- I spend the day lying down, walking, making soup, eating soup- sitting on the toilet waiting for a bowel movement. It sucks so bad. It's like my life has been stuck on hold.

I'm 24 and just starting to consider how badly I'm going to have to readjust my life to cope with this, it sounds like it's likely to strike again if I'm not careful.

I'm sorry if this post has been a bit of a sorry-for-myself monlogue, but I haven't talked to anyone about this apart from my GP and even he's not very empathetic!!

If anyone has any advice please let me know

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there stuckOnHold,

    Let me start by saying that you should definitely not quit your job because this will get better, I promise.

    I have had a fissure for some years and finally plucked up the courage to see my GP, who referred me to a consultant as the pain was that unbearable. I would sit on the loo for over an hour trying to pass a stool comfortably and the throbbing afterward swould last for hours, it even disturbed my sleep. There was a lot of blood and and sometimes I would suffer from debilitating flu symptoms a few hours after going to the toilet.

    When I went to see the consultant he prescribed me anoheal to apply to the area, lactulose to soften my stools and fybogel to keep my bowel movements regular. The cause of my fissure was chronic constipation so I need the medication to form bulky soft stools that are easy to pass. After the first few days I was disappointed witht he results of anoheal but the doctor said it can 6-8 weeks for the fissure to heal so you must continue to apply it religiously until it has gone. I'm now into my 4th week of using the cream and there has been a dramatic improvement. You need to keep with it and maybe look at taking laxatives or stool softeners to make easier for you?

    In answer to your exercise question, the NHS website has extensive information surrounding fissures and states that you should exercise 30 minutes a day as well as eating plenty of fibre and drinking plenty of water. Just do a search for anal fissure on nhs.uk.

    The NHS website has extensive information surrounding anal fissures so you might want to tkae a bit of time to read this. Sitting down should not make it worse for you, and your doctor should be able to prescribe something for the pain although I think good old paracetamol are as good as anything.

    Hope this helps, and it would be good to hear how you get on with the anoheal!

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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    Know just how you feel, I've had my fissure since Chrismas and have tried suppositories, creams and diet. You think it's going away one minute, then it's back with a vengance the next. I'm going back to see my Consultant tomorrow and think he's going to suggest Botox injections. At the moment I'll try anything! Had a rubbish day at work today as I'm miserable because of the constant pain. How are you getting on with the creams?

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  • Posted

    Hi, Thought i would respond to your understandable despair which seemed like a reflection of my own current fissure experience. I too have been struggling since just before xmas with the usual pain, lack of understanding from pals and depression about the whole thing.

    I am a youngish guy, good job, young family, lots of responsibility but i can honestly say have never felt so down. In response to your plight the most important thing to remember is that this is temporary. You will feel better at some point!!

    Pls dont pack in job, i am fortunate that i have private health insurance and seen a consultant who recommended i need advanced flap surgery. Seemed a bit harsh so got second opinion who recommended i try Anoheal first fefore LIS surgery/Botox if doesnt work. 3 days in and small improvement but will have to see. Keep positive, you will feel better!! If you want a contact number let me know as am happy to share. You are not alone with this. Chris

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  • Posted

    I also sympathize greatly with you. here's my story for what its worth.. Ive had a fissure since october last year. i didnt start with any treatment until january because i had to wait for an appointment for so long. I was then prescribed anoheal (diltiazem) cream. Well, 8 weeks on and no difference, so they prescribed another tube which i am still using. If i dont use the cream even for 1 day i have pain, so i know that it still isnt healing, i guess it just reduces the anal pressure enough that it doesnt hurt so much. i also have a desk job and find it very hard to cope. Mine hurts worse around dinner time after a full day of sitting. I get back ache cos i sit in weird positions to avoid the pain! I know what you mean about excersise - i also like to swim but dont any more because it hurts more afterwards.

    My next step is supposed to be botox -but i dont want to because im so scared of incontinence of wind, or worse. Even though i know it would be temporary i cant face it as the embarrassment of breaking wind loudly in front of people scares me so much. I would love to hear experiences of botox.

    Last week i ordered an oil from an american website - natural essential oils. they have good testimonials on their site and it seems very reputable. It feels like my last hope - really hope it works. I wont give the name but if you google 'heal fissures oil' you should find it. I also want to keep in touch with people suffering the same thing - its a horrible thing to go through alone.

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  • Posted

    My heart goes to anyone suffering this horrible condition, made more difficult by not being able to talk openly with employers etc about any details! I'd had a couple of fissures over the years that healed within a few weeks, then about 18 months ago I suffered another. I waited ..and waited for it to heal, to no avail. After 9 months I resigned my job, because I could without a problem and spent the next 3 months dedicated to the bathroom! The anxiety before a BM, the excrutiating pain during and then 2 to 5 hours recovering ... some really bad days the pain never eased. I tried every cream from the chemist, change of diet, drinking much more and so on. Then after those 3 months I finally went to my GP. PLEASE everyone, just don't leave this, no matter how embarrassed you are ... once months have passed it's not likely to recover on its own because the sphincter muscle goes into spasm and holds the fissure open, preventing healing. Your doctor (or if you prefer ask to see a different doctor... or walk-in centre) will have seen this so many times before, certainly that week, if not day! My GP referred me to a consultant which took 6 weeks (so get on with it!) At first I was given diltiazem cream which helped a bit... in the end I used it for 5 months whilst waiting for an op. Well, I had my op last week. My consultant prefers to use Botox injections rather than sphincterectomy, particularly in women as future continence may be an issue after childbirth. As well as the Botox, I had 2 large sentinel piles (skin tags) removed and 3 polyps that they also found under anaesthetic. I was in and out in an afternoon, had a general so felt nothing, will honestly admit to some soreness when I came round, but NOTHING like the pain of a BM with a fissure. I had been dreading the op, expecting terrible pain after, but can happily report just an odd stabbing pain very occasionally, like any surgical healing and no more than discomfort the rest. I have taken paracetemol and voltarol, then nurofen instead of the voltarol for pain relief. I was given some stronger tablets should I need them, but haven't! I have had a BM every day since 48 hours after the op. I was expecting that to be agony as there was a lot of swelling, as well as the cuts but it was the easiest it has been in 18 months! Now I'm not at all concerned about BMs and life is looking much more optimistic. The fissure is expected to start healing in about a month, so I go back in 2 months. After 3 months the effect of the botox will wear off, but if necessary I can have another with no problems, and this time, I promise NO WORRYING! If you're reading this suffering, please make that appt and get your botox treatment asap - I can truly recommend it. Good luck smile
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  • Posted

    hi i am getting botox next week after suffering for months with a fissure. can u tell me if it healed u or need u need another round? thank u.:-)
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  • Posted

    I've had mine for 13 month I'm in so much pain tried everything just trying anoheal to day se how I go I carnt cope any more hun

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