Detached from reality, dizzy, brain fog, ear buzzing, pressure in head. I feel like I am in a dream.
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When I was about twelve years old I remember I became so light headed in the bathroom that I almost fell over and hit my head on the bathtub.
after I completely Grade 8 I felt completely normal. I had no issues what so ever. My mental health was fine.
Once I started middle school for grade 9 I remember I was in a sex education class. The teacher showed a video of a lady giving birth and I remember starting to feel really dizzy, I felt fuzzy and had a really hard time standing up. I went into the hallway and sat there feeling ill. It is hard to remember every detail. I was not grossed out by the video or scared by it at all. It just happened suddenly where I felt this wave of weirdness come on.
Later on during my time at middle school I smoked weed a few times, and this one time I got so messed up from a couple bong tokes. I remember everything started to feel really weird. Like My brain was so foggy. My heart was racing and I could not stand up without feeling dizzy and needing to sit down or else fall over. I felt clammy and I could not focus on anything. I was not sure if I was saying words or just thinking them. When I would try to talk it would be very difficult to get words out. My face felt cold and pale. I did not feel nauseous just dizzy and confused.
My dad came and picked me up from my friends house that day where I was smoking the weed. He took me home and after about a day I started to feel normal again. I decided from that point on I never wanted to feel that feeling again because it was terrifying. So I stopped smoking weed all together. And honestly I only smoked weed maybe five to ten times before that and very small amounts. I was not a heavy weed smoker at all.
A weeks later that feeling came back. Without smoking any weed. I had the exact same feelings start to appear and it was really scary. This time it took about a week to go away and feel normal again, but it did go away.
After that I am not sure exactly how much time had passed at this point, but one day I was sitting in my lunch room at school. I was with some friends and we were just having a conversation nothing special or anything. All of a sudden, and I mean SUDDENLY out of nowhere, that feeling came back. I felt like i went from normal reality to feeling like I was in a dream. I became so detached from reality. My brain was covered in a fog. I felt disoriented. I had a buzzing in my ears. A pressure started to form in my head. My head felt so heavy. I had a hard time focusing and concentration. My eye sight got grainy. I had a hard time walking straight and I felt dizzy.
From that moment on that feeling NEVER fully went away. It has been thirteen years since I have felt this way. Some days I feel a little bit more clear then others. But some days are so bad that I am afraid to even drive. The only way I can really explain it is that I feel disconnected from reality. I feel like I am dreaming. It is so strange. Like if I rated it from one being the least intense and 5 being the most intense, normally for most days I range between a 1-2. But sometimes I have bad days where it is at a 3-4 and then some days I cannot function at all and it hits a 5. Days where I am at a five rarely happen and they are usually random.
When I started high school in grade ten I remember on my first day I walked into the doors of school and a really big wave of this suddenly came across me. I felt dizzy and could not stand properly. It was like the world was spinning around me kind of.
After high school I got a couple really bad episodes. They were so bad that I would literally lose my vision. It would start with a small feeling of clamminess, then I would start to feel cold and my eyesight would start to get really grainy. Then big white and grey spots would take over until it was completely white and I could not see anything at all. I would feel sick and my head would start hurting. A pressure in my head would build up and I could hear my head pulsing. At that point I could not do much other then lay down and stop moving or doing whatever I was doing and wait for it to pass. It would take anywhere from 5-10 minutes to pass and I would go back to feeling about a 2-3 on my 1-5 chart.
I have been tested for anaemia which I do not have. My iron levels are actually in the normal to high range. I eat a balanced diet for the most part. I really do not know what could have caused this to come on so suddenly at age 13. It is scary, and sometimes I wonder if it is possible for me to go back to how I used to feel. I remember feeling so scared and hopeless. I feel into a bit of a depression because my life had so suddenly flipped upside down and I have no explanation for it.
Now, After 13 years (I am 26 now), I have been able to get used to it for the most part. I actually have a hard time remembering what it felt like to feel normal because it has been so long. I have spoken with doctors, and most of them say that i have anxiety or depression. Which I do not believe. I think it is more then just anxiety or depression. I never had anxiety before this and if anything this has brought on anxiety because it is a scary feeling.
I hope someone can help me get a little closer to figuring out what is wrong with me. I wonder if maybe it is something to do with my brain. Or maybe a auto immune disease. I have no idea and any doctor I talk to has no idea. Please help if you can.
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