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Diagnosed today

Posted , 5 users are following.

Lili121013
Lili121013

Hi. I was told today that what I believed to be a yeast infection was actually an outbreak. I have no idea where I got it. I've been with the same man for 6 years and never had a hint of a problem like this before. I'm waiting for him to get home so I can tell him and I'm so scared. I feel disgusting and embarrassed. Besides being in excruciating pain from the blisters. Has this happened to anyone else like me? Married, stay at home mom? How did you tell your partner?

0 likes, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Lili121013

    Posted

    Did you find out if it is HSV 1 or 2?
    • Lili121013
      Lili121013

      Posted

      I'm waiting on more conclusive blood work so I guess she'll let me know then.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Lili121013

      Posted

      So did she do a culture at least?

      If it's 2 then that came from penia to vagina intercourse. I don't want you to jump to any conclusions, because people have been asymptotic carriers and yrs later have an ob, but are you sure he hasn't stepped out on you?

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Lili121013

    Posted

    Listen honey, you probably got that from oral sex from him. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about. You are not disgusting, but I understand why you feel that way. We all felt that way when we first are dealing w it. You will go through a grieving process w it and finally come to acceptance. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. Hang in there, you will be OK.
    • Lili121013
      Lili121013 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thank you. I'm just having such a hard time coming to grips with it. Although it's only been a few hours. smile
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Lili121013

      Posted

      To backup what Katie said, I think the H opportunity site has some great pamphlets on discordant couples (one has it and one doesn't), statistics of transmission rate, support videos, etc.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Lili121013

      Posted

      Yes I completely understand, that is normal, just be patient w yourself. A time will come where you are OK w it.
  • katie42587
    katie42587 Lili121013

    Posted

    I've been with the same guy for quite a long time and got diagnosed about a month ago, he's been so supportive about it all and has said it could be either of us who got it from a previous partner (he hasn't noticed any symptoms ever but apparently that's no proof he doesn't have it).

    I felt really quite depressed for the first couple of weeks after my diagnosis but although I still have a few symptoms after my first outbreak I feel so much more positive about it all now.

    Me and my boyfriend did quite a lot of research about it together which I think really helped me come to terms with it so I'd recommend spending some time together looking at support forums like this so you can learn how to make it work for you both etc.

  • liz75523
    liz75523 Lili121013

    Posted

    I just found out on Monday  that in have herpes.  Ive been married for 30 years!  It's type 1 and I most likely got it from oral sex with my husband.  I had no idea that could happen.  Had no idea that the little bumps I occasionally got in my mouth were herpes type 1.  My husband and I are trying to make sense of it all.  I just told him when I go  home home from theDr.  He was as shocked a I was.  I keep telling myself it will be ok.  We'll figure it out.  And we will.  Your will too.  It will be okay.
  • Amelia90210
    Amelia90210 Lili121013

    Posted

    Hi, I got diagnosed type 2 about 4 months ago and honestly I was mortified it felt like my world had collapsed I was the one with the STI.... I felt gross, disgusting, confused the lot! I had been with my partner 5 years and I trust him to death and I just couldn't work it out. Anyways I rang him and told him on the phone as I needed someone to talk to and I just said to him outright and explained some facts the doctor told me and that it must have been from my ex 5 years ago ... I also explained that it's not highly contagious unless I'm having an outbreak and he took it really well... When I got home that night I cried so hard and he didn't even want to get tested as he said it shouldn't effect our relationship. Well 4 odd months on and a lot of research later I now don't care about herpes! I forget I have it! I don't shout that I have it but I also don't care anymore it's amazing to know how many people have it so chin up :-) I'm sure your partner will support you xx
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Amelia90210

      Posted

      Hold on.. Why do you think it is YOU who has had it all this time and it isn't from him? I suggest you have him get teated, cause I'm willing to bet, he gave it to you. Either he is an asymptomatic carrier or there was someone not being faithful. Is there a possibility that you've been dormant, yes, but not very likely..
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Amelia90210

      Posted

      BTW, based on experience and being a part of the forums daily for as long as I have, I have found that when the guy doesn't want to get treated, he has suspected the entire time he had it.
    • Amelia90210
      Amelia90210 feelbroken

      Posted

      He said if I wanted him too he would but he'd rather now know, I do trust him he'd have to get off his Xbox to do anything lol! But if you knew my ex he probably had everything I was young, naive and silly :-) but like I said now I don't even remember I have it I get a flare up every now and again X
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Amelia90210

      Posted

      Well I'd it's not an issue for you two, then so be it. I'm glad it hasn't caused a rifd and you have such unwavering faith in a man, that is admirable, because I can't seem to do that. Lol
    • Amelia90210
      Amelia90210 feelbroken

      Posted

      Sorry to hear that, the only downside to this is that I feel like I have to live with the presence of my dirty ex but the point of my comment is people always talk about herpes like doom and gloom .... Why does it have to be like that? You won't ever be happy if your always thinking "I have herpes" I was like that and now I'm over it :-)
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Amelia90210

      Posted

      Exactly! It does suck to have it and it does create some limitations, such as having casual flings for some people or the stress of disclosing, but at the end of the day, no amount of feeling dirty, sorry for ourselves or worrying about it is going to make it go away, so it is useless to think this way and let a harmless virus dictate the one life you have to love. I'm so glad that you take this approach and hope everyone dies. I think it is normal to go through a grieving process, but then keep it moving afterwards.
    • Amelia90210
      Amelia90210 feelbroken

      Posted

      And when you first get it you do feel sh*t and doomed but like you said don't let it ruin your life, once you know the facts it's easy to manage and doesn't tend to affect your life at all apart from telling new partners but at the end of the day if they can't accept your honesty then they don't deserve you. 1 in 6 people have it so when your in a room full of people your not alone :-) 
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