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Diagnosed with Genital Herpes yesterday...

Posted , 6 users are following.

victoria3000
victoria3000

Hi there,

This is my first post on this forum, as I really feel like I need to get my feelings, emotions and general shock out there.

On Saturday night, I had oral sex with a guy who I considered (and still do) as a really genuine guy. He had not been the pushy 'alpha-male' that wanted a quickey or someone that just wanted to pull my knickers down. He had spent a while getting to know me and we clicked straight away. On the Saturday night, he still resisted intercourse, but we did partake in oral sex. Him on me, no vice versa.

Anyway, the next day at work I start walking about feeling all uncomfortable, thinking I'm having another episode of thrush (which can be so frustrating when you're on your feet all day). So, I went home, jumped in the bath to try and soothe the itch. It's not until I woke up the next morning to find some bumps and sores on my labia. What's the first thing I do? Google search and Google image. First thing that pops in my head is of course, Herpes. On Monday, I shoot down to the clinic and I get seen by one of nicest nurses I've ever met, she could see I was all shaken up and that I just needed to reassuring words that perhaps my symptoms were not leading to my worst nightmare.

Eventually she tells me that the bumps are 'normal' (WTF?!) and that I have bacterial vaginosis, so I should take the antibiotics prescribed. Think they're called Metro-something or other. Obviously you can imagine, I'm basically hopping and skipping out of there, thinking I've over-panicked as usual and everything is going to be okay.

Tuesday and Wednesday follow, and things just get worse. More sores appear, I can't resist the itch, some are scanning over, I've got unusual discharge, foul smell - THE LOT. On Tuesday I just lay in bed, couldn't bare to move or pee because it just resulted in an pathetic walk and cry out in pain. THIS WAS DEFINITELY NOT BV.

On Wednesday, I phoned up the clinic, told them about my symptoms and they told me to basically get my arse down to them ASAP. Which of course I did, and after having the sores swabbed, and having two other nurses check me out, it was very much agreed that I had my first ever outbreak of genital herpes.

I'm laying there, on show to this lady, with tears streaming down my face, with her trying to calm me down telling me it'll be okay. First thing I cried out was "so I basically have AIDS". I know it's drastic but in that moment, I just wanted to be anywhere else but in reality. She sat me down and we chatted over a box of tissues and tons of leaflets about the virus I know knew I most-probably had. As I walked down the road, I couldn't bring myself to ring up my mum (I'm 18, and I tell my mum everything so it was sort of a must). When I did, I expected her to shout and get angry but she was so supportive of me and told me she'd rush to the shops and buy me some Vaseline and run me a salt bath when I got home.

My journey home was the worst, and laying in bed the following morning writing this, doesn't feel any easier. I'm still in discomfort, still taking my antibiotics for BV, plus the anti-viral medication, plus ibruprofen... (Oh and my contraceptive pill) - I'm taking as many drugs as my nan!?!

I feel dirty, I feel shameful, and I feel like no one will ever love me for me again. I'm not a slut, I don't sleep around. I had one long term boyfriend for 2 and half years when I was quite young, and since then I've only slept with 2 others and the incident on Monday. I don't know if that sounds like a lot, but I know plenty my age that have done worse - so I keep asking myself... WHY ME?

I know this will change my life now, for better or for worse I don't know. Maybe it will help me to be more choosy with men, respect myself, and build confidence but for now I feel like crawling up in a ball and dying for a very long time (at least until this outbreak is over!)

So, I'm not sure why I posted. I don't think I have any particular questions but I just wanted to share my story in the hope that people will share theirs or convince me that I'm not a complete mess, because that's certainly how I feel. If anyone wants to ask me any questions then please feel free, I'm also very happy to hear other people's stories.

I just hope opening up about this, fairly anonymously, will help me come to terms with my recent news. Thank you.

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • nikki1230
    nikki1230 victoria3000

    Posted

    What you're experiencing is normal. We've all been there and it DOES get better. I too, had to deal with BV at one time. It's Metro Gel you were using. It was funny to be the # of BV'S I dealt with while dating the piece of sh** who gave me HSV-2 10 years ago. I like how you have focused on things on a positive note (no pun intended lol) That's good and keep it up. You are among 1 and 3 people now who deal with this. It's soooooo common and simply carries a stigma. I also know where you're coming from feeling you had some detrimental deadly disease. Well you don't and this will eventually become second nature to you. You won't think about it. Take your meds and once your initial outbreak clears you'll probably not even notice again. I've had like 4 or 5 outbreaks in 10 years and that's it! We've all asked "Why me?" I sure did but I'm dating a very understanding gut and life will go on. So many people have it. So what it's a dang cold sore with an awful name. Lol wink
  • AutumnMoon
    AutumnMoon victoria3000

    Posted

    My diagnosis hasn't been confirmed yet... I'm still waiting for the results of my swab but I'm 99.9% sure I have GH. I've felt rubbish about this too but it's a very common virus & many people are unaware they have it. You likely have HSV-1 which is basically the cold sore virus & has been passed to you through oral sex. It could happen to anyone & you weren't to know this would happen, he probably didn't realise he could pass this to your genitals (I certainly didn't until I've researched over the past week).

    Both my partner & I are at a loss to how this has happened to us... we are faithful to each other, have been together a year, both had STI checks before we had intercourse without a condom & yet I errupted in sores, for the first time, on Saturday!

    The only conclusion we can come up with is that it has been lying dormant in one of us up until now. 

    My partner has been very calm about it however I've been quite emotional but he is right, we have it & we have to deal with it. The outbreak is awful... painful & depressing but there are no long term side effects. Your fertility will not be compromised & you can continue to have sexual partners (please disclose you have this to a partner before you plan on being intimate & always use a condom).

    If you need to chat feel free to message me. Take care & look after yourself... drink plenty of water, take painkillers, pee in a bath (salt water really gives me relief), continue with your meds & please don't panic xx

     

  • tara69187
    tara69187 victoria3000

    Posted

    Hi Hun, your not an awful person! I know exactly how you feel just before Xmas I was told I had hsv type (merry Xmas to me aye!) I was so upset, cried almost every day for weeks! Like you I don't sleep around I just happened to meet someone who I thought was genuine etc! Bare in mind some people don't realise they have it. Luckily my outbreak lasted a week and a bit and cleared up on it's own.

    I found doing enough research, talking to friends and family who you trust helps big time! I've just my diet, I take herbal and vitamin tablets every day now too! I haven't had an outbreak since.

    When you do get an outbreak take the meds straight away and avoid sexual contact until all clear.

    You will find most people actually have this so your not alone, just sadly most people are uneducated on the topic which then brings the bad stigma. But it's not as bad as what people think, you won't die it's just a pain in the ass from time to time!

    With dating you will find someone, you will be surprised how understanding guys can be! I was lucky to meet someone 6 weeks ago who actually has hsv type one aswell!

    It's hard at the moment but I promise it will get better. Keep smiling!

    • victoria3000
      victoria3000 tara69187

      Posted

      Thank you so much, such lovely words.

      I know that it's something that we will have to cope with. I just hope I'm lucky and don't get too many outbreaks.

      Do you now how I can avoid getting further outbreaks, and also, how long this one will last? I've had sores for 4 days now, and lots are scabbing over and sorry for TMI but they're weeping and some have puss. Just wanna know when this round will end...

    • tara69187
      tara69187 victoria3000

      Posted

      That's Hun!

      Everyone is different Hun some might get outbreaks regularly some maybe monthly, yearly or even years apart. All depends on your immune system, if you keep healthy, drink and eat less junk food, drink lots of water, take vitamin and herbal tablets(oregano herbal tablets are a good buy)! And keep stress free as much as you can. This has helped me so far and I've only had one outbreak which lasted a week and a bit and I think half of that my out break was in a cluster form. When I did have the outbreak I washed regularly and I actually used thrush cream which done no harm to me.

      Hope this helps! X

  • m69715
    m69715 victoria3000

    Posted

    Hey I know exactly how u feel..I was diagnosed with 1 and 2 last may smh my first outbreak was a few bumps that lasted a few days and then I had my second outbreak about 2wks ago which consisted of bumps...once the bumps went away I had a whole lot of discharge for a few days...I was very confused because I didn't know if it was just herpes or a yeast infection or possibly another std (very confusing)...turns out the discharge was apart of the outbreak. ..now I am fine and as good as new (until I have another ob) lol...anyways try not to stress because that can trigger an ob
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