Difficult night last night
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Difficult afternoon too.
It's immensely difficult when you sit there trying to convey or communicate a problem (a fairly reasonable one too) to your partner only for them to completely shut off, or have either one of two reactions - the 'fingers in my ears going la la la la' or the anger. That feeling of resentment when it feels as though it's your partner causing you the depression and anxiety.
Immensely difficult night resulted from that - thoughts of suicide, feeling outside oneself as though '[insert name here] is gone; the mind is no longer present; please leave a message after the tone'
And yet here I am, awake.
0 likes, 15 replies
kat50 boing333
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boing333 kat50
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You can't predict when environmental changes can affect or alter your mood but once you analyse those environmental changes or take yourself away from them, and allow yourself space and time to find reality in them, it gives you chance to work it out on your own. That's what I do, and I find time is a healer with me.
kat50 boing333
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kat50 boing333
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boing333 kat50
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kat50 boing333
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boing333 kat50
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Out of curiosity, have you ever had tests to establish that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain? MRI scans and so forth?
kat50 boing333
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boing333 kat50
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kat50 boing333
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boing333 kat50
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If a neuroscientist spent more time performing tests on everybody who had symptoms of a mental illnesses, they'd spend less time examining the brains of people with problems that are more immediate and severe, and only usually when people demonstrate more severe mental problems, unique problems, is when they conduct those tests. It is well within your rights to ask for one, of course, because at the end of your day, your taxes pay for the NHS, but you'll likely be put off from making the effort because of the timeframe you'll be looking at in getting what you want.
SueJW2106 boing333
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boing333 SueJW2106
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My response was: "Relate would say what they said to me and my partner - something is lost in translation. When asked what they meant, they told me about something called the 5 Languages of Love:
I don't think anything your husband is doing is out of the ordinary. I wouldn't say there was anything he was doing that was 'abnormal' or required any kind of psychiatric help; nor should he be told that he has a problem. Personally I think how you're behaving is neurotic, exhibits signs of dependence rather than independence; you're ruminating over things that don't necessarily exist - maybe you spend too much time in each other's company and in doing so, pay too much attention to what the other is doing.
Personally, I think you should attempt to do what you want with your life and pay more attention to hobbies, interests and so on, and learn to not be so conscious of whatever it is your husband is up to. It seems to me as though he's being put under a lot of pressure at home. Some people work better at a distance."
But if you wish to discuss that in future, I'll leave it to your thread rather than mine.
When it comes to the feelings I had last night with my partner, it was all dependant on very real environment problems that have existed and continue to exist on an almost daily basis. We're in the process of applying relationship counselling to ourselves but because of financial concerns, we're deciding to go it alone and in the process become more self-reliant.
If we see positive results come out of self-reliance, we feel less inclined to reach for the nearest crutch the next time a problem inevitably occurs.
I've explained a lot of the difficulties that I have with my partner on a different thread so to find some context in what I'm saying now, you might gain better insight reading that.
Essentially, I suffer from depression and anxiety; my partner does very little accomodate it or my needs. In terms of compatibility, once upon a time (during what a counsellor would called 'the honeymoon period' in any relationship), it felt like I was with the right person. Nowadays, it doesn't. When I explain why, my partner has either one of two reactions - to be uncommunicative or to react with anger. My advice to her was to seek help in being able to find that balanced medium where conversation becomes a realistic possibility. She is doing that. Yesterday was a reminder that she's probably not committing as much to change as I am.
SueJW2106 boing333
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boing333 SueJW2106
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