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Disclosing...

Posted , 4 users are following.

ag1194
ag1194

Hi Everyone, I have recently met someone who lived in a different city to me, we have been on a few dates, and I have stayed at his house (nothing has happened yet) but I am terrified of telling him!!! It's not as easy to tell him upfront as I would have travelled all the way there or he would have travelled to me- so if he takes it badly in afraid how it would end up! Could anyone give me some advice? How/where/when do I tell him? Thank you x

0 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken ag1194

    Posted

    Google H opportunity.. There is a disclosure handbook and pamphlet. It also has this nicez simple to read and w a pie chart statistics on risk transmission based on sex, w no meds and condoms, w condoms or meds or both. I don't know how far away yiu are from each other, but an hr or two drive wouldn't be so bad. If it is much further, then maybe just sending him those things may suffice.
  • paul92131
    paul92131 ag1194

    Posted

    I travelled 2.5 hrs to see someone and tell them what I have. I was convinced that I was going to get kicked out of her house the second I told her. it took me a good couple of hours after I got there to try and time it right and tell her. It was a very awkward conversation, but to my surprise she excepted that if we were as safe as we could be she should be fine. I know my body after 4 years of having this and know when I should stay away from her. What we have been through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

    For me, this has given me a lot of hope for the future.

    We are still seeing each other now, and she is fine.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken paul92131

      Posted

      Wow! That is great news Paul! Good for you!

      How long have you guys been sleeping together now and what means of protection are bing used, such as condoms and meds or both?

    • paul92131
      paul92131 feelbroken

      Posted

      We use condoms and I take acyclivor twice a day.

      If I am honest it was a lot of your comments feelbroken that pushed me to tell her.

      if things don't work out with me and this girl, I now know for next time that you can be open about this and still get on with life. People are more understanding than I think I would have been before I got this.

      If I was to give any advice ag, I would say tell him. Whatever happens it will be a massive weight off your shoulders.

      Good luck.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken paul92131

      Posted

      Awww... Paul thanks so much, that means a lot to hear that! I am so happy that you found someone so accepting and things are going well and I'm so proud of you, for having the courage to tell her and give her a choice. You deserve to be happy and nothing less! I love that you're reaching out to others to give them strength and encouragement now! Good luck and I'll keep you both in my blessings! <3>
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken paul92131

      Posted

      BTW Paul, I have found that taking a daily vitamin, high dose of vitamin c,d, Bs and the major change for me, was adding a good probiotic. Get a live culture one, that has more than just acidophalaus in it. 70% of your immune system is in your gut and keeping it balanced, keeps it strong. I was able to quit daily suppression and stopped having crazy nerve sensations like bugs crawling all time and.... Have not had a sore externally for two months! I remember now you fearing it'd pop back up.
    • paul92131
      paul92131 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thanks feelbroken. I will give them a try. It would be great to come of the medication. One of the problems with the meds is I get an itchy bum😬😬. Obviously this can be quite distracting at times😅. But since telling this girl,I have found that I am more relaxed and things seem to be a bit more settled down below.

      This thing certainly makes you look at your health a lot more. I used to smoke fags and eat all the rubbish I wanted. I am now smoke free and haven't touched chocolate for a long time. My friends think it's great that I have changed so much. If only they knew why☺️☺️

    • sasha6654
      sasha6654 paul92131

      Posted

      seeee im glad its working out for you 😃 people do understand its the non educated or immature ones who dont. good luck buddy!
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken paul92131

      Posted

      Listen, you arw not the first person who has said they are itchy on the medication or have more prodrome symptoms. I was like that, then I quit meds and all those symptoms almost disappeared.. I have some crawling, itching and pins and needles a couple times a day, vs 20xs or more. I am currently taking a 1000mlgs of valtex, just until my fissures go away on my rectum. After a month they wouldn't go away, but they really didn't bother me either. I just really didn't want to risk infection. So I will come back off, when they heal. I will say that I k eww when my body tried to have an ob two times, while on meds. The first time, i got swollen lympth nodes in my groin and they were tender. I believe that this is when it was trying to travel to my vaginal area and my immune system thwarted the attempt. Then I got two itchy red bumps on my buttcheeks. I think that the CDR 8aa immune cells had already established itself heavily in the groin area, being I had such a severe primary ob and repetitive obs every month down there. The only place I breakout in the vaginal area noe, is internally on the third day of my cycle. It doesn't hurt or other me, but Kong periods doing physical activity and walking, will cause hip and back pain and severe fatigue, when not on meds and having an ob inside. Either the menstration or the tampon is causing the internal sore, not

      I did breakout on my rectum during my first ob, but not again after that while on daily meds. So my theory was it traveled down the oaths to my vagina when off meds, as it was a path already traveled and herpes is said to like taking the path of the least resistance and I believe the specific immune cells called CDR8aa, short d the attack when the virus teaches my sensory neurons in the epitheal skin layer, so it traveled back up and left me a couple bumps on my buttock and then fissures. Bumps went away, fissures a month later were no longer swollen, but weren't going away, hence medication.

      My second ob I knew was coming on the third day if my cycle, as when I woke in the morning, I had burning at the base of my tailbone and top of crack for a couple minutes. However, the skin was very sensitive there and dull aching deep in my bottock. Lots of sitting wasn't pleasant w direct compression there. I just think that due to not having repetitive obs on the buttcheeks and the rextum. My body had not sent and built of the army of CDR8aa cells yet, which made those areas more exploitive than my vagina.

      Since restarting my medication, it is not causing the itching and prodrome symptoms constantly like it was before, so keep faith!

      Omg oauk, that is so great!!! I quit smoking a couple months after I got it too! I still find it strange to hear the word fag yo describe a cigarette, being american and all? Lol.. I haven't my eating, but I need to!

      I can tell you right now handa down, stress and emotional distress triggers it for me. I literally can feel it to start to wake and twitch in my tailbone. If I do deep breathing exercises, using your belly and exaggerating the in and out of breathing deep and slow, stimulates your Vagus nerve, which has a direct link to your immune system and a way to stimulate and activate your immune system. When I do that, I feel it calm back down.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken

      Posted

      I meant I knew when my body was trying to have an outbreak, while off medication. Just noticed the typo. Sorry, type from my phone and fast.
  • sasha6654
    sasha6654 ag1194

    Posted

    be honest! tell him! thats will tell u if he really cares or not.. its tough but at the end of the day he cant do anything but respect you
  • ag1194
    ag1194

    Posted

    Hi everyone!! Just an update... Thought it would be nice to put something positive on here!

    I finally plucked up the courage to tell him, I did it over the phone and he took it surprisingly well! He was taken aback by it at first... But after some research he explained that he is very fond of me as a person and he could never reject me for something like this. Thank you all for the advice x

    • paul92131
      paul92131 ag1194

      Posted

      Well done and congratulations!!!!

      It feels good once it's out there doesn't it.

      Enjoy the honesty 😀😀

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken ag1194

      Posted

      Yaaahhhh!!!! That is great news!!! I am so proud of you for taking that very brave step!
    • sasha6654
      sasha6654 ag1194

      Posted

      whoop whoop!! seee that wasnt so bad ! you just have to get to know someone and if they really care they will always care and love you! job well done.. im sure you feel soo much better right now 😃😃😃
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