Disclosing herpes after sex
Posted , 8 users are following.
This guy that i am dating , I didn't tell him that i have herpes until after we had sex multiple times. I was scared of getting rejected. scared to tell him and face the fact that he wouldn't wanna be with me if he knew i had it. I convinced myself that as long as i'm not having an outbreak that i cant pass it onto him, when that isn't true. i put him at risk of getting it and i feel horrible about it. i hate myself for it. and i don't know if he will ever be able to forgive me for not telling him sooner, before we had sex. it had only been a month when i decided that i had to tell him and be honest. i didn't wanna get deeper involved with him without disclosing that i had it. he deserved to know the truth. i just wish i had told him sooner.
0 likes, 19 replies
nunyabiz kim65383
Edited
you really suck. sorry. next time you meet someone be sure to tell them you have a std BEFORE having sex with them. thats literally illegal and people like you are the reason this disease is everywhere.
kim65383 nunyabiz
Posted
Don't you think i know that. i don't need you to make me feel more s****y than i already do. i wish i told him before we had sex, but i cant go back. just glad i told him now. i hardly had any outbreaks. so there is probably a low chance that i gave it to him. He just needs some time to process it. yes i know what i did was wrong, so i came clean to him. i haven't accepted the fact that i have it. i was diagnosed 5 months ago. i learned my lesson, ill always be upfront from now on.
nunyabiz kim65383
Posted
i dont mean to be insensitive but that wasnt cool. lucky enough you told him when you could. i hope youre getting treatments and you CAN still pass the virus without an outbreak.
kim65383 nunyabiz
Posted
its okay . your right, i wish i would of told him sooner cause he deserved to know. but now he knows and can get tested. and yes i take my antiviral medication to help prevent outbreaks and spreading it someone else. and the transmission rate for women to men is 4 percent.
tone42388 kim65383
Posted
how did u find out that you have it? Did you get an outbreak? Did you ever do a blood test to see what type it was. hsv1 sheds way less as he may be immune if he has an oral hsv1 from childhood. you still should of been upfront from the Begining as I'm in the same predicament as I wasn't given a choice and herpes is all I think about everyday for 9 months smh. I've tested negative as of 3 wks ago but I hear the bloodtests aren't as accurate as they say.
kim65383 tone42388
Posted
a few days after i had sex with this guy i was seeing, i started having symptoms. i had really bad sores and red bumps around my vagina, it burned when peeing . i went to urgent care and they told me it was a uti. but i knew it was something else so i went to my doctors and they did a swab test and told me that i had herpes. i have herpes type 2. i really wish i had been upfront with him cause he deserved to know. we had sex really quickly when we started seeing eachother . Have you had any symptoms? and yeah they say blood tests can not be very accurate. i think thats why they dont test people for herpes because of false positive results.
tone42388 kim65383
Posted
I see he may be ok but they do say you're most infectious during the first six months to a year. it's also harder to get female to male. my situation was I felt something wasn't right and developed a small bump. we tested and seen she was positive to hsv2. my issue is false negatives not false positives lol. I'm showing negative results at 9 months after but I'm not too certain about these tests. Drs said my issue was bacteria last thing you want is him to read too much and find himself in the same limbo I'm in. maybe u can reach out to him and educate him or atleast check up on him. he might apreciate it.
kim65383 tone42388
Posted
Yes, i hope he is okay. and yeah i heard that it is harder to get it from a female to male. the transmission rate is 4 percent. he hasn't had any symptoms at all. and okay i see, thats tough. besides the bump ,you haven't had any other symptoms ? and yeah i don't want him to read on it too much and have it scare him. i want to reach out to him , but i know he needs some space right now. i care about him very much so i might message him later and see how he is doing. we didn't really talk about it when i told him cause he really didn't wanna talk to me which i don't blame him. but it is important that we do. all he knows is that i have herpes. doesn't know what type i have.
ashley71071 kim65383
Posted
Iam glad you decided to tell him.. Withholding could have gotten you hurt. How did he take it?
kim65383 ashley71071
Posted
Yeah im glad i did too. as more time went on ,it was harder to tell him but i did. cause he deserved to know. and he was upset when i told him but was trying to be understanding. he didn't really wanna talk. He told me that he just needs some space for the time being to process it all.
jan82779 kim65383
Edited
i would advise him to get checked, and if he cant afford it finacially, THEN YOU need to pay for it! very selfish to put your needs of your feelings in front of someones health, no thought of how devastated that person feels if they found out you have passed on the virus and you KNOWINGLY have it. stop doing that or you will get into legal trouble.
kim65383 jan82779
Posted
yes , i already told him that he should get checked, even though he doesnt have any symptoms. the chances that i gave it to him are pretty low. i take full responsibility for what i did. i know i should of told him before we had sex but i was scared. and gonna be here for him if needs anything. right now he just needs space . and i feel horrible, i hate myself for it. I came clean, so know he knows and can get tested. i made a mistake, ill never do that again. ill always be upfront. i cant go back , only forward. i've cried alot over this.
xDx91xPi kim65383
Posted
Hey! I know not disclosing is the wrong thing to do, sure that's how most of us ended up with HSV! But I also know how hard it is to come to terms with a new diagnosis and who you judge and see yourself differently! It's hard to have to change how you did things up till now! Everyone copes differently. Yes what you did was silly, but you owned up and that must have been really difficult to do after that amount of time. Chances are you aren't their first exposure to HSV.
Now you can learn from this. Try not to beat yourself up to much. Give him his space but let him know you are their to support him!
For everyone judging her on here. People make mistakes! It's all well and good being behind a screen saying what she should have done but chances are you's have all done something silly or irresponsible in the past.
kim65383 xDx91xPi
Posted
Thankyou , your right it is hard. i wish i told him from the beginning before we had sex but i cant go back , i can only go foward. and make sure from now on that i am upfront and honest about it. I learned my lesson. i hate myself for what i did. but im glad that i told him the truth even though it was really hard. i was scared of how he would react. im giving him some space right now until he is ready to talk to me.
joseph666 xDx91xPi
Posted
here we go again "the herpes is not a big deal theorist"!you are finding her excuses for the spreading of herpes!!!! we dont simply make crimes because we are sad.if he gets infected he should sue her and she should be responsible toward her selfish horrific act.
kim65383 joseph666
Posted
You know its something i did to be malicious, i was scared. and herpes is a big deal, i know that. at least i told him the truth and now he can get tested. there is a low chance that i gave it to him , female to male transmission is 4 percent. and i take antiviral medication every day. i made a mistake, ill deal with the consequences. i'm gonna be here for him if he needs me.
kim65383
Posted
didnt do*
xDx91xPi kim65383
Posted
Don't worry this guy literally just replies or has something to say on comments I respond to! Lol!