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Do anyone have a remedy for intrusive thoughts?

Posted , 8 users are following.

NonnieDD
NonnieDD

I have this constant intrusive thought that I don't love my husband and it is making me very, very anxious. I know it isn't true but I can't shake it. Can hormones be the cause and how can I fix it. I have a very loving and understanding husband and we have a realy great marriage and i am very scared that this thoughts is going to destroy us or me. I have a suspicion it is hormones because it is wurse 2 weaks before my period, but i realy need help.

thanks

nonnie

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • AVR1962
    AVR1962 NonnieDD

    Posted

    I have had the same thoughts and at times really angry at hom and have had to actually just leave a room or even leave the house and try to keep my mouth shut becasue right now I don't know what is hormones speaking and what is not.

    Our marriage has not been any easy street but when I talk to other lady friends it doesn't sound like their marriages were all great either but yet they seem to be in love with their husbands and I do not feel the same. The last 3 years has been real rough. I have no sexual desire and stopped going to him at all over 3 years ago, I actually have been avoiding him and sex has dwindled to 3-4 times a year when he has come to me. I have slept in the guest bedroom for almost 2 years. I can't sleep at night anyway many nights and he snores so I finally decided to sleep in a different room. It has helped me sleep and I like having my own space.

    We have been togethr 25 years, married 22. Both in our early 50's. Husband isn't complaining and right now I am just riding out the hormones til I figure this all out.

    • jayneejay
      jayneejay AVR1962

      Posted

      Hi AVR

      can truly relate to different bedroom, i did this alot in early/mid peri, needed my own space, needed the peace of no one next to me, moaning if i woke in the night or couldnt drop off to sleep, or wanted the TV on as the night long when awake, then we grow to prefer our own bedroom, 😀

      done all of this, if they snore it annoys us even more when we lie awake listening and not sleeping ... they go to sleep instantly we just lie there resenting they are asleep and we are dealing with other stuff, not feeling understood ...

      bless you AVR i relate to what you say Jay xx

       

  • jayneejay
    jayneejay NonnieDD

    Posted

    Hi nonnie

    i felt the same weird stuff in the past, it hits then it goes, I think our hormones make us feel inadequate and make us doubt ourselves and those around us, you answered your own question saying you have a great marriage...  think its just our chnaging hormones make us feel unsure about life, and make us feel unattractive to others, maybe you worry he thinks less of you theough all this and he doesnt.. its a big thing for the mind of a woman the change of life, remember every woman has it and we are all normal, still lovable , attractive and we should feel liberated about this path ..

    Jay xx

     

    • Susan
      Susan jayneejay

      Posted

      thats for your post jaynee, I am another one here who has had these feelings and can't decipher whether they feelings are true or am I just feeling this way because of the mad hormones! I too am riding it out and await the time when things settle and I am more balanced, terrible how our minds are being played with - I have told my husband this and I think he gets it - doubtful 100% though as surely you have to be a woman to empathise with the rollercoaster of emotions..
  • nancy0925
    nancy0925 NonnieDD

    Posted

    I don't feel like I don't love my husband because we have only been married for 2 years and he's a great guy but my sexual desires come and go. Because I've been gaining weight, it makes me self concious and lack the desire for sex. I only get in the mood about twice a month and I feel really bad about it because I know my husband would like it way more then I'm giving it but it's hard when you feel like crap most of the time!
  • kerry91
    kerry91 NonnieDD

    Posted

    Hi ladies,

    spare a thought for those of us who are married to younger men, my husband's ten years younger than me, fortunately he's being really understanding (for now!) my sex drive has definitely waned which made him feel I've gone off him, but it's not the case. I don't think men can get their heads around this.

  • Uzume
    Uzume NonnieDD

    Posted

    Hi

    I have had similar issues. I started going through premature menopause at age 35, I married my husband during this time and my sex drive has gone from rampant to non-existent over the last 4 years. I feel so bad for my husband because he is very undersanding but I know he would like a healthier sexual relationship. We rarely share a bed due to our out of sync sleeping patterns plus he snores and has restless leg syndrome. However, I know that 4 years ago I would have found ways to cope with this and seen us sharing a bed as important. Now, I'm more relieved.

    He's a fantastic man but we live more as room-mates now, I'm not sure what to do, I feel he deserves more from a marriage but I really don't think my sex drive will return. I don't find anything particularly arusing and the thought of sex makes me feel more anxious and bored than excited. When something does happen, I find it uncomfortable or painful, so I avoid it as much as I can. I'm really shocked as 4 years ago I was completely the opposite!

    • jayneejay
      jayneejay Uzume

      Posted

      Hi Uzume

      I think this is more common than we think and again its one we dont feel at ease talking about. I went through this, and all good now, the discomfort thought is enough to put any of us off plus the hormone imbalance, try Replens MD vaginal moisturiser, for internal , no pain then, and Senstra lotion for women, ( also be used on men externally) its kind gentle and stimulates arousal .... External areas 😀

      I went through this needed my own bed and  personal   space etc, as had peri restlessness and insomnia, if you truly love your man it will pass and all will be good again, its peri and how we feel during certain phases i think. 

      Key is dont feel guilty, or pressured this makes it worse, intamacy doesnt just have to be a bedtime thing, or full sexual penetration.. intamacy can still be enjoyed on a lighter level so to speak..

      Jay xxx  

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