Do fibro patients lead a happy married life??

I can understand as a single person how hard that must be not to have a partner to lean on that’s understands the auto immune disease somewhat! The journey through this disease even being married sometimes I feel alone and I don’t think my husband understands totally, I not only have Fibromyalgia but I also have 2 other auto immune diseases. 

I suggest you step out and maybe talk to someone professional so you can get on with your life. Don’t let this disease cheat you out of your life, you are way to young!! I know there are days you probably don’t even want to get out of bed. Mine didn’t occur till after a surgery when I was 60 years old then everything went downhill after that. I was super active, rode on my husbands Harley and now I can’t because of the pain between the two diseases. I thank God that the last one didn’t turn into cancer at least I was blessed in that aspect. Things can always be worse. Please share with your family so they can understand what you are going through if they choose to research the disease. Try to get your chin up and move forward. I will be thinking of you! 🙏🙏

Hi sweetie. Lucy has very sound advice. I think that addressing your worry and anxiety can tremendously help you to cope better with your pain. I have noticed over my long battle with Fibromyalgia and CF, that stress can worsen our symptoms dramatically. At times, past traumatic experiences, can affect our prolonged thinking and viewpoint of life. So talking with a qualified therapist, can be a source of support that could really make a difference in your life. Our thoughts do affect our emotions. It is an automatic domino affect. So addressing your deep seated worries can open you up to a more peaceful existence. It is strange how we run from our fears and that can be the worst approach we can have, because if we don’t ‘walk through’ them, they will continue to nag at us in the background. Usually things are never as bad as we feel they are. That old saying, ‘don’t Believe everything you Think’ is a very wise insight into our overall wellbeing. So just because we think some way, does not make it Truth. We really need to challenge our thinking on issues. That I have found anyway in my experience, to be a key to coping with life’s many roadblocks. So addressing your anxiety first little Anxious Dove, is crucial to coping with other health issues. Strong emotions tense the body and put tremendous pressure on our organs and muscles. So you can see the link there is from Stress. Share your load with those you trust sweetie. Never carry it all alone. No one is an island. Being strong does not mean that you cannot be vulnerable. Our faulty thinking again. You are never alone in your struggles sweetie. We are all in the same boat and many are coping successfully. Have faith that you can too! Warm hugs! Maggie xx

Hi my lovely,

The symptoms you describe could be other conditions also so if you don’t have a fibromyalgia diagnosis as of yet I would ask your doctor to refer you to a rheumatologist to give yo peace of mind. I am married and I have an understanding partner who attends doctor, specialist and hospital appointments, he has attended my pain physiologist appointments which has helped him to understand what I am going through and we have been able to discuss as a married couple. In order for you to get the proper help, support and right medication I would discuss with your gp to get a rheumatologist appointment, check for lymes disease, reproductive issues like endometriosis which causes deep groin pain, leg pain, shoulder pain etc, I have both endo and Fibro so you can see it can be complicated.

Wish you all the best and understand your concerns and frustrations, take a parent or friend for support to your gp and hospital appointments when referred and take a list of questions to help you x

Hi anxiousdove,

Sorry that your going through so much at a young age. I’m 34 and have had fibro for nearly 4 years (only diagnosed last year) it’s a horrible Illness because we sound like a hypochondriac when we try to discribe it to anyone. 

I got married last year and I have a 14 year old boy. Obviously he was old enough to look after himself ( to a degree)  when I got this Illness so I can’t tell you what it is like rating a baby. I can honestly say I couldn’t do it however, I do work full time which is a struggle sometimes but I don’t miss work because of it. If you don’t work and will be a full time parent then I’m sure it will be a little easier along side a good partner. 

I have a happy marriage but we don’t argue over sexual contact as sometimes I’m just not able even a hug hurts. He kinda understands what I go through Every day and is very supportive. 

Don’t be ashamed of having fibro it’s not your fault and everyone deserves love, marriage and children. You just need to find someone that is supportive and understands from day 1. So don’t hide it. 

You can manage fibro through listening to your body and rest when it tells you too, massage, yoga (totally recommended) 

You run fibro don’t let it run you 😘😘

Gentle hugs and kisses xx

Victoria 

Yes Abxiousdove, that’s the attitude because there is nothing we can do about it other than accept and manage it. Look at it like you are an individual rather than fibro and then an individual. 

I went through a phase where I couldn’t come to terms with it too but it did more harm than good. Give yoga a go seriously it’s brilliant and gives good pain relief although only temporarily but in long term your body gets stronger and more flexible. I find my muscles tighten a lot so it’s good to relax them also. 

Gentle hugs 🤗 

Victoria 

Hi.

Sorry you have fibromyalgia symptoms.

It's a tough disease. I am 46 and have had it 2.5 years.

I was married ages with kids before it began, so I didn't have a choice to choose marriage ( or not ) after it began.

Can you get married. Absolutely.

Will your husband / wife understand? No, not entirely, but if they love you, then you can work through it, just. If you marry a healthy and active outdoors person ( who enjoys a lot of hobbies and social activities away from home ) you will struggle as Fibromyalgia limits how often and for how long you can be "out" and "active".

Having it before you meet and marry, offers you the opportunity to be honest with a future partner from the beginning and seek out a mate who is compassionate. People suffer in so many ways, someone may have had a disabled sibling or an elderly frail parent before they meet you, even if they are healthy for themselves, meaning they may have already developed a lot of compassion and will show that to you. Be honest from the beginning so that no partner can reject you further down the line with " I never knew what I was getting into... you never told me how bad it was..".

The disease doesn't define who you are, it becomes part of your life, but you are more than your pain.

Use any well times ( hours.. days.. depending on you..) to spoil your partner, make them a really nice dinner, run them a bath with essential oils etc. Use some of your strength, some of the time, on them, as they may well spend quite a lot of time helping you manage your worst symptoms by doing housework, childcare and paid work if you are sadly unable to.

Will the marriage work? Yes, if you are both completely committed to one another. If you have children you will all bond as a family and pull together to keep that unit.

I am fortunate, my husband does all the paid work, I do all the housework and paperwork, we share the childcare. That works for our family. I have a severe case. I have only hours and barely that out of pain, ever, but we still have a marriage, family life and that is a source of genuine joy to me.

There are a lot of ups and downs, but every second worth it.

Definately do not exclude marriage simply because of this illness, instead choose carefully a devoted and long-suffering partner and a deep commitment. Sincerely hoping for this, or something like this, for you.