Do I have anxiety or do I just not want to be with my boyfriend anymore?

Please can somebody help or is there someone in the same position as me?

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years. On two occasions, one being summer 2019 and the other being now, i have been in a complete state thinking about my relationship. I am non stop thinking about why i dont feel like i love him, that i dont want to be with him and every little thing down to his family and his home are bothering me. i feel like all of these little things come into my head to make me keep thinking its not what i want. I wake up every day feeling depressed, sad and like i have no energy to do anything. i just want these thoughts to go away. The first time this happened it come over me all of a sudden and for about a month i felt like this. it then went away and for the last year we have done nice things such as going away, days out, going to the gym together etc. I may have had little thoughts between then and now but its not been as bad. Now all of these thoughts have come back.

As weve hardly seen each other this year due to coronavirus ive hardly slept round, we have had two breaks away with each other (one which made me feel upset on the evenings when we relaxed and i started to think), i have only been seeing him for short amounts of time as im not really supposed to be at his house during the pandemic. im not sure if this has made me worse as weve not been able to see eachother as much. but at the same time i keep thinking why dont i feel like i miss him.

i have found that for a while now i am all getting annoyed with him and feel frustrated as soon as we speak. i also think factors such as money have made me feel different towards him, he owes me a lot of money.

this all started again around the week before christmas and leading up to christmas we did things like shopping together, i asked my mum if he was able to come for christmas dinner my mum orignally said no but then changed her mind (i was upset when she said no so surely there was a reason) and we also drove to all his families houses to deliver christmas cards together. i feel fine with him most of the time but sometimes i feel sad and want to cry. and sometimes i also feel annoyed with him. im not sure if when i relax (such as watch a tv programme or have a bath) i start to overthink.

we have had multiple conversations on this, he doesnt want me to leave as he still has feelings but also says he wants me to be happy so should do what i think. we get all the way to saying good bye which i feel is what will make me feel better but then i feel really upset and dont want it to be over.

i have said i am going to write things down about what i think may have caused me to feel like this but then the next day i have no energy to try. i feel like my feelings continuously change, sometimes i am really positive and happy and sometimes i dont want this at all.

im not sure if my relationship is causing the anxiety or if anxiety is causing me to feel like this in my relationship.

do you think my depo injection could be playing with my feelings? what can i do to go back to feeling happy with him again?

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