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Sorry this is going to be a little long but I feel like I need to explain. I got the best possible grades in my AS exams because I wanted to apply to Medicine and initially they look at your AS grades. However, I didn't get any offers from any of my choices. I was an overachiever from the start and always got into the school of my choice, into the programmes etc due to my grades however this time I failed. My A2 year was a flop for me, even though looking back now, my grades weren't all that bad. I just had zero motivation to study for my A2 exams, I just felt let down.
I got into a different degree in University which is a tough degree (Engineering) and I really do want to do well and study but I feel incredibly anxious when I think about going to lectures so I stopped going and started revising by looking at the recorded lectures online. Then when it came to January exams, whenever I would open a book to revise I'd feel like I was going to throw up and I just basically didn't revise and failed. Now it's coming up to summer exams and I really do want to do well. But again it's the same twisting feeling in my chest whenever I open a book. I have managed to do some revision but it usually happens with me crying throughout which isn't very productive.
I also tend to zone out a lot during the day so I feel like I'm not really living. Like I'm in a dreamscape, if that makes sense.
I don't really know what it is but I don't think people have a phobia of studying. I really want to do well and pass my exams but I physically cannot. Anyone have any idea what this is?
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