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Hi there. For a while now I've been a different person. I don't know exactly how long I've been like this but it's only recently I've decided I have a problem. I got with my partner near 4 years ago and I love him so much. But I am horrible to him most of the time for no reason. I will often pick a fight with him when he's done nothing wrong. I won't speak to him for days and this sometimes lasts for weeks with the odd few days where we'll be ok. I find it so so hard to say sorry to him. I'll turn things round and make it his fault. I sometimes forget why I wasn't speaking to him. I'll go mad at him if he makes a mess in the house. I can spend hours cleaning then get depressed when things are messed up again. I sometimes even hate the sound of him breathing! I can't have him even touch me when we're asleep in bed. Sometimes I sleep loads and want to sleep all day. Other times I can't get to sleep at night. In the last 5 years I've got in about £15k worth of debt. I have nothing nice to show for this. I have 2 beautiful children and I never take things out on them but they must feel that I'm not right and notice when I'm not speaking to my partner. I don't even want to go out of the house some days and will stay in and not get dressed. I sometimes even find it hard to have a shower (I'm not a dirty person at all). My kids are well looked after and well fed they are not the issue here. If anyone has any advice it's much appreciated. I don't know what to do next and scared of going to the doctors. Sorry this is not written the best my head is all over the place at the moment.
Thanks in advance
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