Do I have CFS?

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Hi I'm Kelly. I am 21 years old and I think I have CFS. I've read that I may be alittle too young to have developed this, but I really really need yalls advice.

2012 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

Since March of last year I have been so forgetful, unfocused, depressed, and straight up tired.

I have a wonderful fiancé and stepdaughter who are always there for me (stepdaughter is 4 and she knows that when I'm tired or hurt, there is nothing she can do to help other than love on me)

My fiancé works offshore so I do everything around the house most of the time. Get my stepdaughter up and ready for school, on the bus, I get dressed, go to work M,W,&F 8am-5pm, leave, pick her up from whoever helps me with getting her, come home, let her play with the neighbors kids so I can rest, cook supper, bathe her, put her to bed, and on Tuesdays and Thursday's I have school and I do it all over again.

When I get free or 'me' time, I have to clean. It's never been a problem for me to get all of this done until last March. Now, my 4 yr old stepdaughter usually has to wake me up in the morning because I don't hear my alarms, I get so tired just from cooking even just a skillet dinner that I have to pull a chair up to the stove, I even sometimes forget to bathe her and she has to remind me. She's an amazing kid and I hate it so bad that she has to go through this and help me this much.

At work, I usually have to stop working around 2pm or 3pm because I just feel like I can't go anymore. I have a desk job(part time secretary) so I'm sitting down most of the day. I have an amazing boss who is understanding, but I'm always letting her down because I can't remember the simplest of things anymore.

Just in the past few months, I have aches in my arms. Sometimes they feel like small growing pains, and other times I can't even put my arms by my sides because it feels like it's stretching them too far. And some times it's absolute terrible and agonizing pain and I cry for hours.

I'm constantly nauseous, but I rarely ever throw up.

And I have an insane amount of UTIs and I see a specialist for that. (Not sure if the UTIs have anything to do with this though)

I've been short of breath for about a month and a half, too.

I bruise VERY easily now and the bruises last for a good while. 4 weeks ago I was getting in the shower and slipped and barely hit my leg and it turned into a bruise wider than the size of my fist and to this day, it's still there.

For about a year now, I've had horrible, horrible headaches. More like migraines. And no one has figured them out. I take Tylenol and excedrine every day.

3 weeks ago I thought I had strept throat so I had to take a week off of work and school. My doc told me to take off. The next week I was still running fever and I have HUGE knots on the sides of my neck(been there for a month or so I think) so I went to the doc again and she ran a mono test on me and it came back positive so I've now been off of school and work for 3 weeks and I don't feel like anything is getting better at all.

I still run fever too.

I'm sure there is something that I'm leaving out, but I guess this is it for now.

Please please PLEASE tell me your thoughts. Be brutally honest if needed. I need answers so very badly. I have an appointment with my doctor at the end of this week but I'm just trying to see what people on here think to see if I even need to bring this up to my doctor.

Thank you in advance!

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kelly...

    Wow even for somone without ME/CFS it sounds like you have a buisy and filled lifestyle.

    As for age... you can get this condition at any age. I have met people that got CFS when they were at school.

    Unfortunately it is getting your doctor to understand that this is what it could be, as the condition is still not taken seriously by all doctors.

    Your symptoms definitely fit the criteria, I would advice asking your doctors to test your blood and to include vitamin D deficiency as well as B12 and thyriod among others. The chances are these will all come back negative, which only goes to support CFS further.

    It can somtimes be hard to get the right diagnosis, even more when your young. Please try not to get disappointed or depressed when they keep telling you nothing is wrong. ... it is easy to slip into "am I a hypochondriac" mode. No you are not! This is very much a real condition with real and debilitating affects.

    It is really important that you do listen to your body and try and get as much support from friends and family as much as you can. It sounds like your stepdaughter is an absolute delighted. .. but with your partner living away from home, getting help else where is very important.

    Try not to push yourself to where you physically can't go on. Find some suport before then if you can. If you can't then try and be inventive with what you can and can't do.

    Personally I have a very limited suport structure around me and this led to me pushing myself constantly. I would not stop as I felt guilty of not being able to do what I used to...this turned to depression and I got stuck in a horid cycle. Now I don't mind that my house is not in showroom condition and I have learned to say no to things I know will defeat me.

    It is not easy and we are all hear to support you in a listening sence.

    I really hope you find a doctor to suport you and direct you to the right care provider.

    It may also help your depressed feelings once you are diagnosed, as you can then begin to understand why this is happening.

    I really do wish you the very best and hope you feel you can come back here at any time when you need a boost. Xxxx

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    • Posted

      Agentdove, thank you so much for your response!

      I actually do have under active thyroids and I have been on medicine for it since I was 15-ish.

      I already feel like I'm a hypochondriac because I'm always tired and I'm always sick and being raised in the south, sometimes the parents and people don't believe in these things so it really makes it harder to talk about my symptoms because I'm constantly repeating myself "I'm tired, I'm nauseous, oh crap I forgot to pay that bill, I'm sick, I think something is seriously wrong, I'm losing my strength I feel like, ect" and I know people are probably getting sick of hearing it. Hell, I'm even sick of hearing it. I feel like a basket case and no one can ever figure out what's going on.

      I used to be able to push myself and love it never have any trouble keeping up. No, if I push myself for anything over 30 minutes of straight movement, I sleep for the rest of the day, or pray that I can go home to sleep or rest.

      I cannot thank you enough for your post. It was so positive and that's what I needed to hear! Thank you!

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    • Posted

      Oh you're very welcome xxx

      It can be difficult to tel anyone who does not suffer a conic illness and try to get then to understand. If you say "I feel tired...I am exausted. .." the person can only relate to what they know as tired and exausted. ...which is what we felt before, when we spent a day shopping and our feet were tired.

      Now tired means I have just ran a marathon and I am so exausted that I literally can't stay awake my body feels soo achy, i can't hold a cup and i can't think to even string a simple sentence together ...and all this after doing the washing up.

      The great thing here is you can come and have a rant...and even if we don't reply we are all sat there saying "I feel that sister! 😕"

      You have a few health issues that will cause you to feel tired anyway...but do keep pushing your doctor and don't give up.

      Sending lots of ciber hugs xxx

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    • Posted

      You said it all! I think it's just weird for the people around me because I never say no to whatever it is and I always smile and laugh and volunteer at places and now... I can't. I physically cannot. I don't think some of the people understand that it's not just a depression slump. It's waaaay more than that.
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  • Posted

    agentdove has covered a lot and I agree with it all. Just one thing, many people who have ME have had some form of infection or glandular fever before getting it so when I read that you had knots in your neck it made me think you might have ME.

    Everything else you say fits it too. Perhaps you can get your doctor to refer you to an ME specialist because doctors can't really diagnose it, only rule out other things.

    One more thing, don't take no for an answer from your doctor, sometimes we really have to push them!

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    • Posted

      GeorgiaS, thank you for responding!

      I have huuuuge knots in my neck. Left and right side. The left side you can actually SEE because it's so swollen and I noticed yesterday morning that now I have two knots on the left side. The right sides knot is fairly smaller than the left.

      I'm so afraid that the doctor won't do or look into it any further. I don't really like my doctor honestly. She refused to even do a mono test so I had to go to an urgent care. I'm on a 3 month waiting list for an amazing doctor though. My family doctor in my old town was wonderful, but she's 55 minutes away from where I live now.

      I'm familiar with the rule it out method because my urologist had to do that to find my bladder disease. It was months and months of waiting and doctors appointments. So I'm used to it, but I can't stand the waits.

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    • Posted

      To get an understanding GP I've had to change doctor 5 times, and surgeries 3 times, and I've heard this story over and over but its necessary. It's a shame about the wait and distance to your new doctor but it'll be worth it because you sound like you have faith in her. Try to be patient!

      I hope it goes well. razz

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    • Posted

      I just thought while you're waiting can you get your current doctor to refer you to an ME specialist?
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  • Posted

    You may have the start of ME but until all your other problems are resolved, no one will give you a diagnosis.

    first of all you are not wonder women and you need to slow down. You will never get better doing all this stuff, I know I tried it for many years thinking I would soldier on,big mistake. 

    Most men only work and do very little to help, if they had to do all that other stuff as well as working they too would be exhausted. I would look at everything you have to do and draw up a schedule and look at what you can change. E.g. Do you have to grocery shop, use click and collect or have it delivered. It nice to send your daughter to all these activities but stay in and be together. Do you have any friends or family who can help lighten the load. You need to rest for at least 30mins at a time if you have CFS. 

    I am am on my own so have to do everything and in the end I let certain things go so I could rest. rEsult, I am well on the road to recovery. I know you don't want to hear this and I was told this advice many times and ignored it, but it was only when I follows it that the road to recovery began. 

    Personally i I found no help through medical channels apart from the pacing advice I have given you. There are no magic pills to make you feel better

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    • Posted

      wknight, Thank you so much for responding!

      I definitely have too much on my plate, but there isn't much I can do to lessen the load, unfortunately.

      I live in a very very small town. We have one grocery store and one gas station. I live far from any store that will deliver. But I have started shopping orders online to have them ready at the store at jcpennys, Kohls, ect. It has really been a huge help.

      I have the neighbors next door that we take turns watching the kids every 30 minutes outside each day. Her fiancé works offshore too, and she sees how tired I get and offers to do more, like give her a bath and let her eat there sometimes if I can't pull myself up to cook. It's wonderful to have her next door to help.

      I have other people to help, but I live 35 minutes away from my closest person who helps, 40 minutes away from his family, and about an hour away from mine.

      When my fiancé is home, he does everything he can to help me, which is great. But i used to be able to do it all, and now I can't. I met my stepdaughter when she was 14months old, so it's not like it's a sudden new little person in my life.

      I'm not good at resting at all. My siblings and I work and have always worked like crazy. Nothing was handed to us, and we love our own money. It's so hard for me to sit down durning the day knowing that there is something that I could be doing. And not getting paid these last few weeks is killing me, especially since I do have a car note. My fiancé wants to pay for it but I hate that I can't. Makes me so mad.

      But I can't shake this 'ugggghhhh' feeling so I try to rest but no matter how much I rest or sleep, I never feel re-energized.

      I also don't sleep much anymore. Not sure why... I think it's because I haven't been doing much like I used to and maybe I need to go outside and do a lot of work to help me sleep better. It always results in sore, achy, nausea, and crappy.

      I'm so ready for this to be over with honestly.

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  • Posted

    There is no age barrier to CFS..... One of my main symptoms is a weak immune system and I seem to get every bug going. Maybe your GP could do a blood test to look at your immunoglobulins ? B12 ? And magnesium levels .

    as a self help measure I take Vit c and Vit d, magnesium and CoQ10

    Doctors are often stumped with patients like us as there is no sure fire cure, so it's a matter of finding what works best for you. Good Luck x

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