DO I HAVE CUSHINGS? please read..

So this time last year I was the happiest girl you could meet. Was always the life and soul of the party, always out and about doing bits and bobs an all round confidant 19year old.

Unfortunately I split up with my boyfriend in December but this was a long time coming. This was something I had to get over as he walked out of my life without a look back.

Christmas came and went, along with New Years. At this point I didn't have a job and was down in the dumps about splitting from my boyfriend. 

Clubbing and talking to boys just came easy to me I am so easy to get on with and making friends was never a problem. The attention I would get from boys was crazy and such a confidence booster which is exactly what I needed.

February came and I finally got a job working at Costa Coffee. I was so excited to be back out there enjoying myself with my own money and new friends!

End of February I noticed myself changing. I was tired all the time started putting abit of weight on. I thought this just came with the excitement of having a new job and obviously splitting up with my boyfriend. March came and it was my 20th birthday. I was so depressed at this point as I had gained 3 stone in 3 months? Something wasn't right. At this point too I hadn't had a period since November 2013.

I went to the doctors to be told that i had put on weight due to coming off the contraceptive pill and my hormones being all over the place. I also had terrible acne on my back face and arms. I was told this was also due to the pill and my lack of periods where because of this too.

Every week I was gaining more and more weight some weeks I would put on half a stone a week and this resulted in my body aching to the point where I could cry it hurt so much.

May time came and I started to get heavier and started to notice I had a buffalo hump on the back of my neck. 

My legs feet and ankles were also swelling so bad I could hardly walk most days.

Along with the rapid weight gain I also had stretch marks on my arms and the back of my legs. My muscles ache, my joints are painful, I have a racing heartbeat, very bad headaches, blurred vision, depression, suicidal thoughts, a fungal rash all over my abdomen arms and legs. My whole appearance has changed to the point where at a family party family members didn't even recognise me. And now looking at photos I don't even recognise myself. 

I was referred to a endocrinologist who told me I may have a very rare disease that is called cushings disease. 

Cushings disease is a tumour on your piturity glad in the centre of your brain.

This was a shock to me. Once I heard this everything else was just a blur, I researched for hours about this thing they call cushings. And everything on there I had, every symptom.

Unfortunately I ended up having to have time off work as some days I would wake up and I couldn't even walk. I hardly have a life any more. I don't go out. I am tired all the time and just stay in at home sleeping. It hurts to do almost everything and I have no energy to attempt anything. Getting out of bed and up from the sofa hurts. I cry I am in so much pain. This is very frustrating for me as no one understand just what I'm going through.

I was sent for an MRI scan on my brain and sent for lots of tests involving blood tests and 24hour urine collections. 

My MRI showed nothing for them to be worried about but I later found out that my piturity glad is enlarged. My 1st blood and urine results came back borderline this news I only just found out. My 2nd lot came back negative.

Doctors are trying to tell me that I so not have cushings disease? It's very hard to hear this when you read other peoples stories and you know you have it.

Whilst all of this has been happening my symptoms have worsened.

Everyday is such a struggle. My whole body hurts.

My symptoms now are-

*Rapid weight gain. Going from a 6/8 weighing 8.5 stone to now 99.75KG.

In January this year I weighed 57KG I have doubled my weight in 6/7 months.

*Headaches and blurred vision.

*Stretch marks on my arms and legs.

*Fungal rash all over my body. (Tinea Versicolor)

*Buffalo Hump on the back on my neck and fat pads on my collar bones and around my neck.

*Muscle weakness.

*All over pain in all the joints.

*Extreme fatigue.

*Severe Depression, including suicidal thoughts.

*Acne covering my face, back, chest and arms. (Which are slow healing)

*Fast heart rate.

*Terrible mood swings.

*Memory loss. (Will be mid conversation and I can't remember what I was saying)

*Moon face. (Doctor commented I look very cushingoid)

Everyday I am scared that they will find something out when it's too late and I will end up dying from this terrible disease.

Now today 4/12 I think we are finally getting somewhere.

Although I feel I am coming to the end, I dream about dying. And feel I'd rather not be here to be away from this pain I have to deal with everyday. In the past year I have had all of 4 periods lasting just 1 day. The worst thing is, is no one understands just what your going through. Reading other peoples cushings stories give me so much hope that one day I will be better.

I have completed yet another urine collection and a very in depth blood test this was all done on the 17/11 and the results are still pending. I have been sent for lumbar puncture to release the pressure on my brain causing these headaches.

I was also told today that the rash that is fast covering my entire body is called tinea versicolor and in my own research I found out that this fungal skin infection is something that is very common in people suffering with cushings disease.

I hope that I am soon to find out what is wrong with me, fingers crossed.

If there is anyone that can relate to my story please let me know. 

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