Do I have genital herpes? How can I deal with it?
Posted , 5 users are following.
I had conflicting symptoms recently, mainly:
1) 1 red spot then a separate cut after rough sex. Then the same evening, and for 1-2 days afterwards, open ulcers.
2) I didn't have other symptoms except for slight lower back pain on the left side (same side of ulcers on shaft of penis). 1 week after the ulcers first started they disappeared but the back pain which started very mild now became unbearable, and seems to be moving, or expanding, to my upper left buttock.
3) I saw an NHS (Jefferies Wing) consultant and a Better2Know consultant. At first instance, both indicated the spots/ulcers looked like Herpes. But at the end of the examination, the NHS consultant said it doesn't seem to be Herpes and he gave me Fucidic Acid dor bacterial infection. He said he would probably bet it's not Herpes. While the Better2Know consultant, whom I saw 2 hours later, said it's probably Herpes.
4) The 2 partners I had encounters with in the previous 2-3 weeks insisted they don't have Herpes. They both had limited previous partners and where using condoms with non-long term partners.
What is your guess? And does it happen that the back pain becomes that severe after the blisters are gone?
And another complication; I am married but have had no sex with my wife for almost years because she has a psychological problem. What do I tell her? Is there any bengin/normal cause of infection other than sex?
0 likes, 10 replies
mandyhappygolucky adam85623
Posted
adam85623 mandyhappygolucky
Posted
toni24814 mandyhappygolucky
Posted
You don't know the gentleman's story. In fact, you don't know anything thing about him other than what he's posted on here.
If you can't be supportive, it's better you keep your angry thoughts to yourself. As to the situation with his wife, he should decide what's best for him.
toni24814 adam85623
Posted
I'm not too surprised your sexual partners denied having Herpes. Most people lie about their sexual history.
mandyhappygolucky adam85623
Posted
Sorry but I have all the time in the world for people struggling with this virus, whether its from one mistake or caught innocently but married men who appear to try and blame it on benign things apart from sex says something different to me.
And Toni I don't care what you think, people are sometimes judged on this forum, for example when people come on here and say they have the virus and willingly had sex with a new person without having the talk/informing the new person of the risk of catching the virus, they get judged, I don't stick my oar in then but this post annoyed me, I have a right to my opinion and if you don't like it lump it.
toni24814 mandyhappygolucky
Posted
And you being angry at him and others on this forum is not going to make your condition go away. As it is, you had just as much responsibility/blame to shoulder, since you chose not to insist on your partner wearing condoms before every sexual encounter. Health websites tell us the only way to avoid getting an std is to not have sex. period. You made the choice to have sex. You made the choice to have your partner not wear condoms with you. Isht happens and people make bad judgement calls, but it doesn't mean the world comes to a grinding halt because of our bad calls.
I think from reading adam85623's postings that he is already beating himself up about his actions. No need to crucify the gentleman twice.
Cheers.
mandyhappygolucky adam85623
Posted
Yes I don't know the whole story and I may be presumptuous too but like I said I am entitled to my opinion and he had it, hes married, having sex with other people and trying to hide his actions and no I don't detect any remorse in his words at all, the most reasonable thing to do in his position is get a culture swab as blood tests will not show the virus up yet, and tell the truth to his wife, why hide it in the first place if she can't have sex I'm sure she would understand, its the fact that he wanted to hide it that annoyed me.
toni24814 mandyhappygolucky
Posted
adam85623 toni24814
Posted
And despite all of this, I do love my wife and I just wanted to fulfil a big missing part of my marriage without losing my wife and destroying her life by leaving her because no one else would want her with her problem.
Anyway, I really don't want to lose my wife, and she would not accept what I did despite her problem. So I really need an acceptable reason how I caught this virus. Can it happen with massage, other non sexual transmission?
r35506 adam85623
Posted
My advice would be to be honest with your wife. What you did was wrong and you now have to deal with the consequences of your actions and hopefully she will accept that.
If she has been honest with you all these years and you have been understanding with her then you must be honest with her now and hopefully she will understand.
On the other hand. If you don't have sex then why the big deal. Why would she ever find out you have herpes ?
None of what you write makes sense and therefore I do not think that everything you say is the truth.