Do I have to disclose Hsv to guys who have cold sores?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I was diagnosed with Hsv 1 in April by a guy going down on me with Hsv 1 orally  and as of lately I have been single but it does not help the guys that approach me and stop the guys that I have known before the diagnosis from wanting to be in a relationship with me so now I’m wondering if I can ask them if they get cold sore and if they say yes do I have to tell them that I have Hsv on my genitals? I don’t plan to having unprotected sex or oral sex but is it okay if they go down on me? If I decide to do either one then I will tell them I have cold sore so if I perform oral sex that will have it on their penis. People are in denial about Hsv 1 as I was before the diagnosis I did not know a cold sore meant herpes! But now when I ask this guy he said he hasn’t had a cold sore since 2012 I told him it’s Herpes but he doesn’t agree! I never told him about my diagnosis and I’m starting to wonder if I should. He has Hsv 1 orally so do I. My question is do I tell him or just accept that he has it too even if he is in denial?

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    If you both know you have HSV1, then you can't reinfect one another in a different place. You have some immunity.

    The problem is that whilst most cold sores are caused by HSV1 a few are caused by HSV2. There's no cross immunity between the two types.

    So if you meet someone with cold sores who doesn't know which type of HSV they have, there is a small risk. I would recommend having the awkward conversation in these circumstances.

    Best of luck to you christi

    • Posted

      Right that’s why I said I would tell him if we have sex but for now we both have hsv 1 but I don’t get cold sore on my mouth just on my genitals. I told him that if he have a cold sore he has it but why should I say anything if he has hsv 1 orally? 
    • Posted

      So you know you both have HSV1. That means that you are safe from one another regardless of what you do. There's no need to discuss it at this stage.

      It would be worth discussing with him before sex, as you suggest you will, because otherwise he might be worried about passing it to you through oral. 

    • Posted

      He is in denial. He don’t think a cold sore is considered herpes but I told him it is. He thinks it’s something related to a cold if things progress I’m going to take him to get tested for everything including Hsv just to show him. Can someone have cold sores without having hsv 1?

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.