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Do I have to disclose the location of my HSV1

Posted , 4 users are following.

elbmubal
elbmubal

I have GHSV1, if I am less likely to pass it on than someone with OHSV1 is it okay to tell them I have the cold sore virus instead of discussing the gory details?

Obviously I will explain how this means they could get GHSV1 but I have been given the impression that it is very unlikely that I would give it to someone genitally as genital-genital HSV1 transmission is very unlikely.

I am a virgin and caught it off a partner who has asymptomatic OSV1 the first time I was ever sexually active. I'm just heartbroken that the stigma will hold me back even though I pose less of a risk than cold sore sufferers to a future partner.

If I explain the risks, is it fair to just say I have the cold sore virus instead of saying where? I am still with the person who infected me so it obviously isn't an issue now but I'm terrified for the future.

I was adamant that I would explain it to partners until I read that I would be more contagious if I had cold sores - surely I shouldn't have to face rejection as long as I tell them I have the virus in some way shape or form?

It is HSV1 not HSV2 so the most damage I will probably do is give someone cold sores.

Thank you for your help in advance! smile it's all really new to me and I'm obviously very upset especially considering I have had such a small exposure to sexual experiences and this has already happened to me.

 

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • christine_44474
    christine_44474 elbmubal

    Posted

    They say herpes 1 is not an std because it’s mostly cold sores and mostly half the world already has hsv1 from either from childhood or now. But it turns into an std I think when you perform oral sex while having an active old sore and that could be transmitted to yoUr genital and your partners and that will cause hsv1 genitally but as far as cold sore in the mouth is not considered to be std so they say , as long as you don’t perform oral sex while on an outbreak den you should be fine the chance of transmitting the virus is very very low. But of course you should discuss that with your partner regardless what you have , why would you want to hide anything from your partner. You wouldn’t want him to do the same thing to you.  But you know when you are bout to have an outbreak from tingling on lips and from that to when it scab an thags when it’s most  contagious , let it completely scab and heal until doing anything sexual or sharing anything with any anyone while on a active cold sore 
    • elbmubal
      elbmubal christine_44474

      Posted

      Hi!

      It doesn't change the virus if I have it down there as far as I have read.

      So if I explain the dangers of having HSV1 they'll be the same if it genitally or orally right?

      If a partner explained to me that having cold sores could give me the cold sore virus down there I would be equally aware of the risk as if he had said he had it genitally - I think I would still understand the risk but just be less squeamish about it if that makes sense?

    • elbmubal
      elbmubal

      Posted

      Like if my current partner decides to tell people in the future (he is more likely to give people gHSV1 than me), he doesn't experience the same risk of someone being grossed out - that's all I want!

      I would be letting them know the risks just the same - just saying cold sore virus should be fine right?

  • elbmubal
    elbmubal

    Posted

    Could I say

    "I have the cold sore virus, there is a chance that it can be transmitted, although unlikely, to your genitals - so when I feel run down I do not want to engage in sex that might put you in danger. There is a chance you already have the cold sore virus and just don't show symptoms like 50% of the population, in which case you don't have to worry but if you don't know I just want you to know the risks."

    • Guest
      Guest elbmubal

      Posted

      Hello! Good question! I went through this exact debate.

      My advice is that you shouldnt get into the habit of massaging or hiding the truth at all. Just own it, and be transparent about it. You will feel more confortable with yourself and confident once you do smile 

      Ghsv1 transmission from genitals to genitals IS possible. I have first hand experience of that. i didnt know i had ghsv1 and passed ghsv1 to my partner after 3 months of sexual activity, when there were no symptoms ever visible on my self. He had symptoms though ... big time. 

      Also.. For women, it is possible to have symptoms on the cervix.. so, not visible to the eye, but still there on skin and in fluids if a sore exists inside the vagina.

      Just tell future partners that someone with cold sores passed it to you. And that they can get it on their genitals/mouth if you have genital to genital or mouth to genital contact 

    • elbmubal
      elbmubal Guest

      Posted

      I’m just so terrified that I will be judged for it and miss out on the normal life others have.

      I would never say I don’t have it at all I just thought telling them I have the cold sore virus does tell them they are at risk in the exact same way like we would have to take the exact same precautions but it’s more palatable.

      How have you dealt with telling people? I’m 21 and still a virgin so I don’t think it’s something I will have to tell lots of people (I’m not overly interested in sex in general) I just worry that I already find it so hard to be comfortable getting close to people and now this is  gonna make it impossible for me.

      I will be very clear that the virus can be transferred genitally and I won’t be going near anyone new for a very very long time haha so I won’t be sexually active in this first year afterwards when it’s most likely to shed.

      I know it sounds so stupid, I appreciate you being so kind with your reply, I’m really fragile at the moment so I hope I’m not coming across as difficult I’m so uncomfortable with everything right now I waited so long and made sure I was as safe as I could be I think I have the worst luck in the whole world but I can’t see this making a difference to a new person I don’t known haha sorry I'm ranting??????

  • 22Confused
    22Confused elbmubal

    Posted

    Im in the same boat as you. But I agree with you. I will always let someone know I carry the virus and it is present. I just dont know why the location is important to disclose given that as of now, I havent had another OB since my first and that having it orally (while more socially acceptable) is more contagious.

    I would say "I have HSV1 which can spread orally or genitally through skin to skin contact. Here are the facts for all types of transmissions. You should get tested to see if you have it too as you more than likely do". That is disclosing. That is you giving them the right to consent 100%. By not telling them the location, you are just not giving them the right to be ignorant because thats what it comes down to. People are ignorant about GHSV1 because of where it is, when it is the EXACT same thing as OHSV1 with less consequences/chances of transmission. So how is there any logic in anyone making a big deal about it? Still beats me.

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