Do men go off us as we age ?

Good heavens!  I suggest you ask your husband about this.  Was he expressing his own views?  You'll never know unless you ask. And, asking doesn't mean you are insecure, it means that you want the information.  

When men are insensitive and dishonest, they attack women by telling them that they're ugly, crazy, insecure, stupid and irrational.  It's a pitiful effort to control and says more about them than the women they're attacking.  It's a sad and tired tactic.  

Three years isn't a very large age difference. Appearance isn't the only criteria for loving someone.  And, those "younger" women often want money, etc. before they'll accept an older man. The men "lucky" enough to land them must be constantly on the alert.  Will their trophy wife find another, younger lover? And, in the end, they often get abandoned, just as they abandoned their wives, especially when the money runs out.  

Your husband has made some remarks that have unsettled you--and you deserve to have them clarified.  Don't think that you aren't worthy of an answer. xx

I think your husband is just being  annoyingly logical. Objectively he is right.  He is probably not deliberately upsetting you. Your interpretation shows your insecurities.  I would advise you to embrace life. Celebrate your relative youth. Just because you are 51 doesn’t mean you have lost your attractiveness and anyway looks aren’t everything.  A vibrant woman who is interested in life will always be attractive.

Hi Jane. ?

My husband is 4 years my junior. So I do relate. The comments your hubby made would hurt me terribly! My ex husband was 8 years younger and cheated on me 5 years ago, and supposedly got another woman pregnant. He didn't want that responsibility whatsoever, and God only knows what happened there? He is 41 now, and moved out of state, and has been dating a woman 20 years older than he is for her money. He's a piece of sh*t anyway, so no wonder. Guess it depends on your relationship with your hubby. Years together, what you've been through, etc. Just my opinion, of course. But I don't believe that EVERY man leaves his aging wife for a trophy wife, so to speak. And if they do so, then they'll leave her too. Some men have such egos. Have to "spread that seed." Do you two have children? That would explain his responses somewhat as well.

You say that he is loving and caring toward you. To me that is a VERY good sign. My ex was NOT. At least not when times got tough, and I needed him most. Maybe look at that? My husband is a saint when it comes to this hell we're experiencing. But he is SO positive about everything, and treats e everyone and everything in his life that way. I was always the most patient, loving person I know, but he blows me away! Attitude is everything. Hope this helps. Hugs from the Midwest, USA!?

I think  he was just 'talking' and perhaps he is right BUT I wouldn't take his comments as hurtful towards you.  In general men do go for younger women but that's NOT always the case.   I think men who do this are unhappy at home or that type-- maybe immature too..   IDK.    As long as you have communication and intimacy in a relationship it's all good.  

Hi Jane

I agree, I think he was just genuinely pointing out a fact... I don't think he even was relating that to you or your relationship, just thinking out loud in the unique unhelpful way they tend to do sometimes! Maybe you are just being a bit harder on yourself at the moment because you're a bit insecure because of meno. I would ask him, but if he's anything like my husband, he won't enjoy being put on the spot and possibly won't help to make you feel any better just look at his actions and not what he says, sometimes they only open their mouths to change feet doesn't matter what age you are, the sample applies to you. You have options, you could look for a trophy fella 6 years younger and give him a run for his money don't worry xx

Im suddenly very interested in going to Greece to find love.

x0x0

Very hurtful comments which I think you need to discuss with him for peace of mind. I’m sure he was just generalising.

After all we all age at the same rate and he isn’t Peter Pan either!

Please be kind to yourself. You are going through such a tough time enough without undermining yourself too.

Sending love and hugs xx

Hi Jane, I'm sure your hubby didn't mean to be nasty, but none the less he was. My hubby wouldn't dream of saying such a thing to me, especially at this time. Men and their egos can be so cruel, without even knowing it. You clearly take pride in the way you look, so next time you catch him toggling a younger model, on tv, or anywhere else for that matter, cut him down a peg or two by clearly saying something like, I bet she doesn't look like that without a ton of make up, and she'd frighten a zombie first thing in the morning! Bring him back to reality, sounds to me like he could have hit the male mid life crisis, they think that they'd be desirable to any younger woman they fancy, when in truth, those younger models as you put it, wouldn't give him a second look. At the end of the day these beautiful models you see with ugly older men, are only there for one thing in the majority of cases, MONEY. Don't take it to heart, as you may also be a bit over sensitive, which is totally understandable at this awful time in our lives. Most men have no comprehension of what we suffer, I'm lucky my hubby and 3 sons fully understand and support me during this horrid process. If my hubby had done that, I would simply loudly clear my throat, and hand gesture at myself as if to say look what you've got here, need I say more. Just treat it as a poor taste joke and don't blow it out of proportion. Here for you if you need me. XXX

Hi Jane! Please try to relax and talk to him about it. Men can be insensitive if woman don’t communicate. They are not in our skin and can’t read our minds. Let him know how your feeling emotionally and how sensitive you are bout aging as a woman,  . Have a real conversation.  He loves and cares for you and will understand and support you.  Then of course , jump him!!! 🤪

Thank you to everyone that has replied . Sometimes I do take things to heart and unfortunately we can’t turn back time and make ourselves younger . We do have a loving relationship , so I hope it was just a comment that he made without really thinking about it . I think a lot of men do still think that they could pull any woman that catches their eye regardless of their age 🤣 . 

Yes, think he’s just being tactless but you’re right about men thinking they can pull any women. You only need to look at dating profiles to see men looking for women 10-20 years younger than themselves 😂😂😂  I taught undergrads and the tech who set up the labs for me was in his 50s. Couldn’t understand why 20 year old undergrads weren’t interested in him as he felt he was still good looking and had his own home/car/teeth and was good at household DIY to boot 🙄 🤣😂🤣

I think this is just a rough patch of our lives and we are very sensitive sometimes. Some days I'll laugh and take things as jokes, if I'm PMSING I'd take offense and sometimes feel hurt over something that I'd just brush off other times of the month. It's a touchy season of our lives, peri is a sign we are loosing our youth.

That being said, I'm 46 and a couple of years ago I tried an online dating site...you would be surprised the amount of men in their late 20s to late 30s that have a fedish for woman in our age range....so it can go both ways

It has been my experience that younger me like older women lol. I think he was a bit insensitive with his response personally.  Those younger women won’t stay young forever right?