1. Community
  2. General
  3. Chatroom

Do not resucitate? Whose decision?

Posted , 4 users are following.

georgeGG
georgeGG

Is this a personal, private decision? Do your friends and relations deserve a say in the matter? In what circumstances would you want 'nature to take her course'? Would you tought it out no matter what? What do you think?

3 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Light
    Light georgeGG

    Posted

    Big one. Lots to ponder.

    In the main I'd say when it comes to being terminal, don't prolong.

    If there's a real chance of genuine quality-of-life relief, then no.

    How to distinguish...? The poor doctors have much on their plate with this one...

  • frustrated61
    frustrated61 georgeGG

    Posted

    Hi Doc ~

    hmm, considering my father had the DNR on his files, I can see where it's in the hands of the paitent.  Sometimes when they do resucitate they bring them back and a whole different ballgame has arised.  Such as my father, the first time the was resucutated, he ended up with terrible secondary problems from having a major stroke.  He couldn't talk or walk or do much for that matter.  The thing is, the DNR was in place when all this went down. Since then, if anything occured that needed the DNR to take place, that request was honored.  This did lead to the death of my father, but he looked so peaceful.  Moreso than I had seen him in years.  So, I believe it's the decision of the patient.  Yes, we'll suffer the loss, but if we don't respect that wish, they could suffer far more.

    Warm regards,

    Frustrated

  • georgeGG
    georgeGG

    Posted

    Recently a widower friend collapsed and was taken to hospital. He is making a recovery but his family saw DNR on his notes. They were very upset. It seems he had not discussed his wish with anyone. What goes through your mind with this situation - both as patient and as family?
    • Shellesmalley
      Shellesmalley georgeGG

      Posted

      Well hello GeorgeGG hope you are well. So to the point you know me, say it as it is. Why resuscitate if only few more hours of pain so the family can watch few more hours of suffering. Been there done that watched the pain in everyone's faces for a few more hours when we all knew the inevitable was watching and waiting. 
    • georgeGG
      georgeGG Shellesmalley

      Posted

      Thank you Shellesmalley. Yes, the problem with my question is of course that someone who sees the effect cannot tell us how it worked out for them. So we can only enter into this in imagination. And that is what we do when choosing DNR. Do I wish to be put through a death process again? Also, How will spouse, children, syblings, friends react. It is a fine judgement. So I would take each in turn, each weighing lighter in requiring my consideration.

      Spouse: talk, discuss definately talk and discuss every now and then over many months or years. Indeed this was part of our breakfast chat at the tailend of breakfast yesterday. It is not an immediate issue with either of us. We are just sorting out our ideas and priorities. We both regognise the time might come when we would forally decide, but just sometime.

      Children: I have started talking in general terms about quality of life rather than length of days. They are still uncomfortable with this talk but they don't run from it. I have in mind that I will tell them when I have made my decision for DNR implementing it. They can still protest if they want and I can argue back. I hope that would make it easier for them if DNR was ever honoured.

      Syblings: I would tell them immediately after formally chosing DNR. Just a matter of information and respect.

      Friends: I feel under no obligation generally. I would probably tell one or two special friends. They would very likely be the one or two I had bounced this idea off from time to time.

      Forum: yes I would tell you. I would bounce my thoughts, as I am doing now, off you. When I made my DNR decision I would tell you. I owe a deap debt of gratitude to my friends on the forum. They have already rendered such valuable service to me I feel obliged to them out of both respect and gratitude. And once again I ask for your comments. Together they provide such a wealth of diversity and wisdom that I should be  a fool not to accept it all with gratitude. 

    • georgeGG
      georgeGG

      Posted

      typo aove: Children para: "when I have made my decision for DNR and before implementing it."
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.