Do some people just have to live with this crap?

Spinal surgery,and the reason for it is a powerful stress factor. There must have been a lot of pain and fear. That combination could easily produce a post traumatic stress disorder. A huge part of it is fear. Check yourself against signs and symptoms. You might be able to find help that is specific . I guess the booze is symptomatic and self medicating.

If your body can cope, exercise, exercise,exercise. I currently have an Achillies problem so I do non-load bearing work in the swimming pool. Find/found a self help program and maybe go together. I had a long experience of Seroquel - yes, drowsy, slow, it's an emotion suppressor. Hard to get off.

Have you been checked out physically? There are several physical problems that have startling similarities to depression. Ypur wife too. Remember, too, there is often a `mourning' reaction to menopause. Realistic, too. Self esteem is tied to reproduction, particularly for women. Young, attractive, fertile women are highly valued. It was ever thus. Which cave man wanted to provide food and shelter for old women who couldn't contribute, and probably bossed them around? Of course it was the young women who insisted on feeding Granny. I wonder why?

Don't discount the physical effects of menopause, which can include depression. Hormones can be unforgiving. Not everyone welcomes the end of youth, maybe some of your probs are tied in there too? There are certainly programs aimed at helping women navigate menopause.

Here comes the dilemma. Bearing in mind withdrawals from both anti-depressants and anti-psychotics can be lengthy and unpleasant, physically AND emotionally. Whatever the reasons are for your depression, and there will be some, the drugs do NOTHING to change that. They suppress, they don't `cure'. You have choices. Go back on the drugs which are a) no better than a placebo (sugar pill) for 80% of users; b) if they DO help, it doesn't last as the brain adapts to them (hence withdrawals- any `chemical imbalance' is CAUSED by them); c) The emotional dependence, `I'll get `sick' again if I stop, scares you. Not helpful. The drugs CREATE an environment of stress, which must then be treated with more of them, using as many as 4 different drugs to treat the drugs - can you see a snake swallowing its tail? And the combination of some of these substance can kill.

I know it's hard, I've been there. For 13 years! About a year ago I had an `epiphany'. One day I said, `they've had me long enough!' I don't know the process of what happened but I've been out of there for nearly a year. I don't expect this to happen to others. If I did, and could harvest it I would be a wealthy woman.

Your story is one of hundreds where, after medical `treatment' for a non-medical `disorder', you are just as bad as ever, or even worse because you feel like you've failed. NO YOU HAVEN'T! The treatments have. Mor and more people are `sick'. This is an obvious indictment of the bio-docs. What they do doesn't WORK. Even they don't claim they can `cure' anyone. But there are people out there who are healed. You need to find them.

Some very good insight from someone who had been there. I tried quitting everything weened off over time few weeks in my wide caught me seeing and shooting at people in the trees that were not there. I was still so sleepy and tired I started taking Adderall and felt great for a bit but it kept taking more and more. So now I am at a crossroads whether to take something or quit all together. I am a very shy person and would only talk to someone openly like this. I applaud your efforts and how well and far u have come. I am hoping no knowing I will get there one day. Just so u know too I am very sympathetic to what my wife is and has been through. I want nothing more than to help her but I am just not able right now. Thanks again for your reply and we will talk soon I have some decisions to make

Hi Mtm, deee brings up some good points and could be very accurate in your case. I will give you a little input from my experiences. I am a recovering alcoholic and drank for at least 20 years. Please don't take that course because the end result put me in ICU for 8 days struggling for my life and most of the people I know from AA. The seroquil is most likely the reason for your weight gain for it is one of the side effects. When I take them all I want to do is eat. deee is right about the trauma you go through with physical surgeries and things will effect you mentally at least at some degree. Might not have been a good idea about getting off the meds. Maybe check with the doc about that. Good luck to you and the wife.

My surgery was such a success, I don't understand how that could really have much to do with these lasting symptoms. I had surgery on Friday and was back at work, easily, on Monday. There were some minor setbacks during all of this but nothing major. The only thing I can attribute some of down and out feelings from is just facing my own mortality. That sounds strange to me, as I have never been afraid of death but I have learned that I am terrified of the actual dying part. What is more peaceful and tranquil than real good sleep. The fact that most people don't just go to sleep and not wake up is the part that bothers me. I hate doctors and hospitals and needles and can not bare the idea of going through all that just to finally die anyway. I am trying a new positive idea as I get up this morning, just getting up and saying it is going to be a better day because I am going to make it a better day. I pray God gives me the strength to continue this and to find the ability to help my wife and others around us. I have always taken the problems of the world and everyone around me as my own. If everyone did that and tried to help, wouldn't it be a better place. However I have realized that I can only do but so much and that is do all I can do. What good am I to anyone in this current state. I will update how this works out. Thanks

good post mtm. I had some concerns before my first surgery. There is that doubt that going in there will be the last time you will open your eyes. stories of people waking up and had the wrong limb amputated etc. But I am happy for you that your's was such a success. I guess the lasting symptoms may be that you will have to do it again and again as I have. But I look at it as falling asleep on the O table would be better than being stabbed to death. take care.

It depends on the surgery. I've had several over the many years of my life. Walked away, no problems with all but one. (it was 1971). Knee injury-no arthroscopes then). I had to wait a couple of months for the surgeon to get back from his holiday. (it was an insurance claim so I had no choice of doctor.) My relative immobility impacted on my job, I was in a lot of pain, I had a bully of a boss, my new marriage was shaky. So lots going on. Add the post-op pain was excruciating since I was allergic to the pain killers and I crumpled into depression -> suicide attempt. I was hospitalised for that, better in 10 days, back at work 2 weeks later. No problem dealing with my boss and went on to be very successful in my job.

No more depression.

My point is that there may be all sorts of things going on that are more or less under control, the bridge is OK,shaky but OK, but add one more piece and it will fall down. I think it's really a matter of reaching the overwhelming point. Everyone handles pain and stress in their own way.

My later surgeries impacted on my life in very positive ways. Something wasn't right -> surgery -> right.

I don't know the details, and I don't need to, mtm but I suspect there were serious issues because spinal surgery is not done lightly. I guess there would always have to be a fear at the back of your mind about potential for permanent injury in such a case. This is just the kind of thing that triggers a stress reaction. I would call what is happening to you quite a normal reaction to your experience. There should be professionals out there who specialise in this kind of post-op trauma. If you had rehab, they should have helped you then. It's a worry that maybe they didn't. Emotional rehab is just as important as physical rehab. You may be able to qualify, even after 6 months. Check it out.

I was diagnosed and determined my surgery went so well and I was so strong that I didn't need rehab. I had never taken prescription pills or anything as an adult, I just wonder if months and months of pain meds and sleeping pills could have contributed to state. I was on them a lot longer than I should have been. I remember liking the numbing effects they had even after the pain was gone. I almost wish I had that numbness back.

Sorry to grumble but I am just not feeling well at all today. I can't deal with anyone. I have knots in my stomach. I tremble and am so nervous. I am nauseated sick to my stomach. Please let this day go by quickly. I feel anxious and sad. I have to work anyway though. Everyone else laid out.

Quite possibly

Another day same ole feelings of despair. I can't handle much today. I am avoiding the phone and people hiding in my office if I can. I think I got to do something else here.