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Do You Ever Feel Guilty For 'Making Things Up'?

Posted , 3 users are following.

emma96514
emma96514

What came first the symptoms or research on WebMD?

Do you know when your looking at possible problems and you are so desperate to find answers that you think you have all the symptoms that are listed and you end up thinking that you have something that will kill you tomorrow? Obviously this is slightly exaggerated but hopefully you get the idea.

((So this is probably just screaming attention seeking and all that behaviour that people percieve falsely. "Why would someone be so insensitive to almost mock those who do genuinley have that?" But is it intentional, is it unconsiously or is it even done at all? For example when most people harm themselves and don't hide it, is this with the intention of screaming out for help? Or is it just unthought about and purely impulsive? I don't understand but I do want to try to.))

So is it that people accentuate their symptoms to finally have an answer or to feel like they fit the list the doctor has infront of them? Maybe people do acctually want something wrong with them, for a number of different reasons? I honestly do not know.

I often worry that this is the case for me, eventhough I have tried to hide everything from anyone I care about until actually this week. I was terrified that someone would find out and judge me or change how they behave towards me, that I would go to extremes to hide anything I didn't see as the normal behavour. This included all the episodes of depression where I would end up pushing away the people who I thought might find out. Which clearly didnt help the situation.

However recently I did talk to one person who has know the past three years of what I've been going through and she tried to reasure me that I'm not attention seeking, that I was being very honest to myself and everyone else. She also made the point that by looking at symptoms, I might have not even realated to it, I might have finally noticed them in myself. But how can she be sure if I'm not even sure myself? Of course this begs the question are the symptoms even real, coul they all just made up in my head? 

I know this is silly but I just feel that honesty when its annoymous is so much easier. Even if these discussions are like a personal blog to just write the random things I think about and even if it is only me then atleast I can know that.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • stacey45027
    stacey45027 emma96514

    Posted

    See I never do that go on a website to check sympotoms as my mum always said it can scare you harlf to death with what you can find on them and believe you have it. But just because you have sympotoms does not mean you have it the only way to find out is going to the doctor. I will addmit sometimes I do it too but it is silly of us to do as then it creates more rashanal thoughts and If you have bipolar these thoughts are not good not even on medication. You could ever have it are not hunni but all you can do is go to the GP and find out
    • emma96514
      emma96514 stacey45027

      Posted

      Mum's always know best don't they? hahaha

      But can Bipolar even be diagnosed? It's obviously not like a physical thing so blood test and all that won't show much so how is it proven?

      Is it just taken for granted with what you say to the doctor?

      If so surely it can't be anything but your words and what you say with them?

       

    • stacey45027
      stacey45027 emma96514

      Posted

      well its to do with the chemicals within the brain not working properly so you will know by taking tablets if you have bipolar or not plus its now also been proven within a test.. theres a test you can take that doctors score you on. Plus some scientists think you can pick it up on CAT scans but thats yet to be proven. Plus if you are making it up the therapist will know who is the one that diognoses you aswell as the medical heath team.. basicly you go into this room theres the therapist, CPN and mental health doctor all with you in one room who examains you who will know if you are Lieing, making it up, putting it on for you to be in the spot light so to speak or actualy mentaly ill. There qualified and speicalised to know the difference. so no it doesnt just go on your word but hpw you behave and how you body language and everything you say will be taken into acount. so making it up will be very hard to do and for someone to make it up would be very deserbed in my case as no one would seriously want bipolar or be on 10 meds a day for the rest of there lifes xx
    • emma96514
      emma96514 stacey45027

      Posted

      So by taking meds that work it shows that you have it okay Ill keep that in mind when they start me and try not to get carried away in placebo effects.

      I trust doctors completely and that sounds like a much better way than I thought it went.

      Oh dont get me wrong I dont want to make it up, Im just scared of getting all muddled and saying things wrong etc.

      Very true thanks and hope that the ten meds goes down for you wink

  • bumpygoodness
    bumpygoodness emma96514

    Posted

    I feel this way sometimes. I think for me - I don't know if you feel the same - it's guilt that feeling open and not hiding, even for a minute, is a release and feels good. I begin to question if because it comes with a good feeling, I am acting in a way I scorn in others (attention seeking).
    • emma96514
      emma96514 bumpygoodness

      Posted

      Yeah the stigma behind everything makes you feel bad about telling people.. But you are right once you tell one person then it is a relief.

      I hate the idea of attention seeking too and do avoid it at all costs.. but I think human nature just makes it natural. So sometimes you do deserve a bit of attention wink

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