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So I wanted to ask, can a psychopath know that they're a psychopath? The reason I ask is because the last few years I have started to become aware of what I'm doing, I don't feel bad or anything but I just know it's not normal.
The last few years I have noticed that I get great enjoyment from manipulating people, getting them to do what I want and tricking them into thinking something that may not be true. It might just be something simple like hiding my mothers oven gloves from her when she is cooking and she will look for them for 15 minutes and then I'll put them somewhere really obvious and she'll be all confused as to why she didn't notice them.
There have been other slightly more serious things where I will befriend someone in school and manipulate them into doing something bad and they'll get into trouble for it. I know what I'm telling them to do is wrong because I won't do it myself, so I'll trick someone else into doing it and it makes me feel good that I have that level of control over someone. I've made girls break up with their boyfriends by installing doubt into their minds and I've caused others friendships to end by turning each against the other.
I've never caused any physical damage or severely affected anyone but I do wonder how far I could go... How far could I manipulate someone? Is there a limit? The best part about it is they think I am being a good friend and that I care and want to help so they come to me with their problems and I pretend to care and sympathise with them when in fact I honestly do not care.
I also manipulate people so I get what I want. I'm not a violent person and I never used violence or have outbursts of rage or anything, but instead I prefer to carefully construct a situation that results in me getting my way without the other person acknowledging I'm getting my way. Or they see that I'm getting my way but they don't think I'm doing it on purpose. Just a side note I don't do drugs or smoke, I do drink occasionally but prefer to get tipsy rather than full on drunk.
My parents have mentioned it to me before that I'm a very suggestive person, I'll often get my younger sister into trouble in the house by tricking her into doing something which I know my parents will get mad at her for, although she is only 11 and it's not much of a challenge so I've not really been doing this recently.
I guess I just enjoy knowing that I have the ability to instil ideas or thoughts into other people whether it be family, friends, teachers, or strangers that I only just met. Knowing that a person acts because of what I have constructed in their minds. I am off to university next year and wonder what my life will be like there...
I've been reading about psychopathy recently and I have a lot of the symptoms but I am aware of what I'm doing... Maybe not right there and then but as the process goes on I realise that everything I'm telling this person is the opposite of what might be beneficial to them. Does this mean I'm not a psychopath? As psychopaths do not know what they're doing is wrong?
I know this is a pretty lengthy post but I just wanted to ask, if I do consult a psychiatrist, will they tell my parents that I have spoken with them? Or can I request my parents not be told anything between me and a psychiatrist?
Thanks for reading
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