does anyone else dwell on their teenage years?

Hello, well i don't really know where to start, it's all just too much. I don't want to go into too much detail because it'll take forever nut basically, my junior year of high school was very traumatic. I was in an abusive relationship, and at the same time i was being bullied, harassed, and even got physically assaulted in school. I went from being this very cute and bubbly girl, to loosing all of my friends and hitting rock bottom. To add on to this high school drama, at home I had it kinda rough being that my bipolar sister was living with us. She's a whole 'nother story but to cut it short, she also feed into my trauma and gave me years or mental and physical abuse. I am now 24, and i still think about everything that happened to me in high school. And now i am dating this guy that went to our towns rival high school. He was the opposite of me in school. He was very social, athletic, and went right off to a good 4 year school after graduation, unlike me. I find myself not only dwelling on my teenage years, but now I'm doing it with him. I'll look up his high school friends/old girlfriends on social media and look at pictures that they posted with him, or old tweets that they'd tag him in. I'm almost like jealous? Jealous of how perfect his teenage years were. I compare my high school experience to his DAILY (in my head). I think about the years 2012-2015 a lot being that those were the years that i was in school. Sometimes i wish i could dress and act like I'm still in 2012. I wish I could go back and have transferred schools, i wish i didn't miss out on parties, didn't miss out on being a regular teenager. And now I'm also finding myself overthinking the future. I feel way too old, but I'm only 24. I feel like ill be 30 in a blink of an eye. Basically, I'm either dwelling on the past or overthinking the future, but i NEVER live in the moment.

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