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Does anyone else panic about their Anal Fissure?

Posted , 5 users are following.

molly204
molly204

I've always been a nervous person, worrying about everything. When I got my first fissure in my early 30s, I panicked. It was like my life was over. Of course I was overreacting, but that's what I do best. Convinced it was cancer, and with a doctor who is a bit reluctant, it took me almost a year to see a specialist. He prescribed an ointment and within a month I was healed. 

The specialist asked a few questions about my family history. My dad had colon cancer at the time but because he was diagnosed at 85, the specialist didn't recommend a colonoscopy until I was 50 (I'm 41 now). He suggested I could do one at 40, but wasn't pushing it.

The last five years have been okay, but about a year ago, it started to flare after a horrible bowel movement. The second I see blood, my mind goes to worse case scenario. I'm convinced it's not a fissure, it's cancer, and I've had it all along and I'm going to die. 

 Bascially, I panic. 

I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions for the last year and other than a few good weeks here and there, I'm miserable. I'm using all the techniques I've learned in therapy, but I can't help but wonder if I should have that colonoscopy done when I turned 40 (which is exactly what I'm not supposed to do, according to therapy. I'm supposed to wait two weeks and reevaluate if I still feel that way). And if I have a few good weeks, then I forget about the blood that causes me to panic.

I guess I don't know what to do anymore. The thought of going to my GP scares me. And as I've been reading through all the threads, I see myself in so many of them.  Meaning, my symptoms are the same, so why am I panicking? 

I'm trying to do everything right. I have my prescription of nifedipine, I'm eating better, I've got a concoction I drink before bed to make my stools soft, but one set back and I'm toast.

How do you deal with the emotional side of this? The one filled with so much anxiety that you want to stay in bed?

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • joyce7777
    joyce7777 molly204

    Posted

    Molly, sorry to hear that, I understand the anxiety. What is the concoction you drink before bed. I could use some suggestions?

    Hope things go better for you.

    • molly204
      molly204 joyce7777

      Posted

      I'm not sure if it's a Canadian product or not but I drink a cup of Wholy Tea with about a 1/2 teaspoon of non-acidic Vitamin C powder. It keeps everything soft but doesn't give me the urgency to go. It helps a lot, but I didn't bring it with me on a roadtrip my boyfriend and I took at the end of November and back to hard stools, blood and pain.

      I'm still trying to recover from that trip. I get flareups, but without my nightly drink, it would be a lot worse. 

    • molly204
      molly204 joyce7777

      Posted

      It's a green box with only 8 teabags, but one teabag makes 2 litres of tea so it goes a long way. I add the Vitamin C because it helps with healing and it can also act as a softener. I usually add a splash of apple juice to make it taste better (although it doesn't taste bad).

    • joyce7777
      joyce7777 molly204

      Posted

      Thanks, Im going to try it. As you know you will just about try anything. I really got into riding my bike just before this happened to lose weight and miss it so much .
    • molly204
      molly204 joyce7777

      Posted

      I have tried everything to keep my stool soft. Aloe, flax, psyllium, other fibres, magnesium, and this is the only thing that consistently does it without being a laxative. I affectionately call it my poo-poo juice. 
    • joyce7777
      joyce7777 molly204

      Posted

      Molly, How long before you notice a difference in our stools? how much should I buy?

       

    • molly204
      molly204 joyce7777

      Posted

      I noticed the next day. My first bottle of Vitamin C (calcium ascorbate or another mineral ascorbate kind - NOT ascorbic acid) was 125g and it lasted about a month. I now buy the 500g bottle and it lasts a long time. You're not using a lot of it. Just a half teaspoon.

      An box of Wholy tea lasts about 2 months because I'm only take one cup a day at bedtime. 

      FYI - Your body might take a few days to adjust. So maybe start with half doses and work your way up. You don't want to have an urgency to go which your body might do for the first couple of days.

      And see what works for you. You might find you need a little more or a little less of both.

  • sharu_18056
    sharu_18056 molly204

    Posted

    I have exactly the same problem molly you're not alone.ive had the Botox done and although the excruciating burning pain has subsided I do bleed now and then and although I know it's from the fissure itself my head doesn't accept it and I think it's cancer.Do you only get anxious about the fissure or does anything else bother you?as in your other health relating your body?because with me if it ain't the bleeding from the fissure it's something else for e.g I have lumpy breast and always continuaslly feeling them for something abnormal although the doctors reassured me it's just breast tissue.i don't know I think I just make myself Ill all the time waiting when they will say it's cancer😱I think what me and you both can do is relax and distract ourselves life is too short worrying about something that might or might not happen,we can just die tomorrow of a fall,do you know what I mean?dont worry baby I've also lost my dad to cancer and I know how you feel xx

    • molly204
      molly204 sharu_18056

      Posted

      Were we separated at birth? Yes, I do everything you do, In fact, I did a breast exam yesterday because my best friend had a scare. Last summer, I thought I found a lump. My doctor was kind enough to point out it was a stretch mark and then went through my breasts with me. Acid reflux? Must be cancer of the esophagus. Those are just the latest. I've been to therapy and it's helped a lot, but those little doubts creep up and take over. And when I finally have a clear moment (sometimes days later) I feel okay.

      I just wish I could let it go and I'm better at it, but I'm waiting for the cancer hammer to come down. And then I think that's crazy!

      And I've had something wonderful happen to me professionally and I don't know if that's part of it. The nerves, thinking I don't deserve it, so I revert to my health. I don't know.

      And thank you for reaching out. It makes me feel like I'm not alone or overreacting, or a bit crazy.

    • sharu_18056
      sharu_18056 molly204

      Posted

      Funny you mentioned acid reflux today most of the day I've had my fingers down my throat trying to feel for lumps.😩God help me😩😩😩

  • Ramakin
    Ramakin molly204

    Posted

    Hi,

    I wanted to write a comment here as I am the exact same. About 3 months ago I found blood on the toilet paper.

    I do exactly what you do, any ache or pain in my body, I jump to worse case scenario. Cancer! My dad died of cancer too.

    So after finding blood I went to see my GP, I didn't want to as its embarrassing.

    But I did it and the examination was not pleasant but I needed to know. He found an anal fissure and prescribed a cream. I wasn't in much if any pain with it. Which again worried me. However he could see the fissure. It took about 4 weeks to clear up. But even with a doctors examination and visual conformation I still worried in the back of my mind, that he's wrong.

    I trust my GP and he is very good. Anyway yesterday I went to the loo and it was quite large and a little sore, and there we go, blood again.

    So now I'm worried about it. I'm fairly sure its the same thing again. I've read its very common for them to reoccur, the cause fits, it was a large bowl movement. Its not long now since it appeared to have healed. But I go straight to worse case...

    So I feel your pain, you're not alone. I think awareness is good but everything you read and watch these days seems to be "do you have cancer and not know it" and it drives me nuts.

    I bought a D&K medical book on everything that is filled with flow charts about most common things, so if you feel a pain, go here. Do you feel another pain somewhere else go to the next step, if not jump a step. So it was meant to help guide you to what might be wrong. Nearly all things in the medical book need up, advising you call an ambulance as you might die. I sold it at a bootfair.

    I think one of the replies said it well here. We need to try and relax and distract from things a little to try and make it through. I think half the time, the stress of the worry makes things happen that normally wouldn't. There isn't a magic cure for people like us, we're just natural born worriers.

    • molly204
      molly204 Ramakin

      Posted

      It's nice to know I'm not alone because there are days that get me down. Thank you for sharing this.

      I may getting better at not panicking. I know that makes the fissure flare up. I'm much calmer than I was a few weeks ago.

    • Riri000
      Riri000 molly204

      Posted

      Molly I feel everything you are saying and I wish we could be friends in real life because omg I would feel better sad you're not alone and I know how you feel ! I'm suffering a fissure and I've had so many break downs that's my surgeon has had to contact me outside his hours to re assure me ! I have Botox in their now and only half the fissure has healed and now I have all these lumps because the muscle is really relaxed but I keep panicking there's another issue and he hasn't noticed it and I keep over thinking and it's making me depressed and I just cry all day - I wake up with no pain but the first thing I do is go toilet then my day is this ruined because It makes me feel so tender for the rest of the day sad urgh your not alone sad please inbox me if you ever need mental support x

    • molly204
      molly204 Riri000

      Posted

      I know how you feel. Every morning dictates how my day is going to go. It's okay to feel sad and depressed, but you also have to find ways to turn it around. In the last few weeks I've taken up meditation and I feel like it's made a difference with my anxiety and stress. You can find lots of resources online. If you're interested, I can message you with one I use that has a free trial.

      ?Also, have you tried sitz baths after your bowel movements? I started doing that and it has made a huge difference. I can't tell you how much relief it's brought me!

      ?Have faith in your surgeon. He knows what he's doing and he's even letting you call him if you need to and that's great! If he thought something was wrong, he'd be all over it.

      ?I wish I could say I was anxiety-free and that life was grand, but it's all baby steps. I suffer from so much anxiety that I can drive myself nuts. I'm trying to adopt the "screw it" attitude and it seems to be working. And if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me.

    • Riri000
      Riri000 molly204

      Posted

      Hi molly thank you so much for replying

      I suffer anxiety and depression to and this is why I am finding it hard to cope sad I used to do yoga before all this but honestly I haven't been in a mood even to force myself because I'm so depressed about it sad

      I will trust you advice and try to meditate because I'm a big beliver but it's just so hard to force myself sad could you private message me the link if that's okay?

      Also did you have any Botox treatment aswell ? I'm on struggle street with any hope but I guess I have to try sad

      Thanks

      Riri xx

    • molly204
      molly204 Riri000

      Posted

      I'm going to message you once I can figure out how to do that!

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