Does anyone else's anxiety ruining friendships/relationships?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I havs so many difficulties keeping friendships going, and I worry I keep screwing it up by being me. I have a friend at the moment who has stopped communicating with me as soon as she got a boyfriend, I don't see her or hear from her and it really upsets me. I keep thinking I have done something wrong and I want to call her and ask but I'm holding back because I worry I'll make it worse. I haven't managed to tell this friend that my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in May because of her lack of contact and interest in me, but I so badly need her support in this just someone to talk to other than family. Then I have another friend who I stayed with last weekend and I did tell her about my Mum, maybe it was too much info? Anyway I am sure I have messed this up badly now. She told me she hates her job and it makes her feel poorly and I sympathised with her and suggested she applied for something else because her health was more important. A week later I sent her a message asking how she was doing and if things had got any better at work. Well it showed up as message read and she even posted something online but absolutely no reply. I am sure I have committed some heinous social crime in asking how she is. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered? I thought I was doing a nice thing.

Do I sound like I've done something wrong to either friend because right now I'm sure I've lost all my friends and made myself even more lonely than before. Should I just keep my Mums cancer diagnosis to myself on future to avoid scaring friends away?

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  • Posted

    You did not do anything wrong apples here. It seems your friends are preoccupied or self absorbed. I'm so sorry.  You can go ahead and either text or call them to find out what is going on or just let it slide. But either way I understand you need to make some better friends. You do not have to keep your mom's cancer diagnosis a secret. If you can't talk to your friends would have your friends to support you theyre   not your friends

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  • Posted


    I don't have many friends but those I do have are pretty solid.

    In life people come and go.

    I would leave this friend don't contact her. You don't know where u stand with her so in ur mind make that decision urself and draw a line under it. This will empower you within yourself. Stick to it. U don't need her to know you're keeping her at arm's length. Wen she gets back in touch then u can speak to her and hear what her reason is for not responding to you. It's a bit rude really.

    As for needing someone as a shoulder is there anyone else you can share this news with? Might there be someone you never previously considered to be a possible shoulder.

    Remember you did nothing wrong. Sometimes friends are let go at the start of a new relationship.

    Hope this helps.

    This forum is real useful.

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