1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

Does it ever get better ?

Posted , 6 users are following.

Fairy28
Fairy28

Just want some hope for the future from someone who's been there please. In surgical meno will be three years in October, im not complaining about the necessary surgery that put me where I am today just need to know it will get better and when ? All these symptoms are so so monotonous and never ending and I have to say the worst is the health anxiety, every day I think there's something else hideously wrong with me, the exhausting constant fatigue and worry day in day out is so draining and tiring. Is there a time limit roughly on this as to when I might feel better or is this it ?

1 like, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • wen_54374
    wen_54374 Fairy28

    Posted

    Lou health anxiety is terrible I battled with it for years .mind was brought on due to loosing several family members so close together. This also became so difficult especially during the menopause .I eventually decided to go on fluroxatine and I have never looked back it has given me my life back and I wish I had done it earlier . It helps to cope with life's ups and downs and put things into perspective. Every day we waste worrying about things that proberly will never happen is wasted energy. Hope this helps you are not on your own .
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 wen_54374

      Posted

      Thank you Wen - im so sorry for your losses. It's a terrible thing to lose loved ones and yes it can trigger anxiety / health anxiety. Tied in with my surgery I lost two family members, my father weeks after my op - he died in front of me, and then my beloved grandmother and then my hubby had a heart attack, so mega trauma all at once. I was put on Sertraline but it made things so much worse, was also offered counselling but I don't feel that's for me so trying to battle through. Yes I agree putting things in perspective is the right way but finding a way through the pain is the hard bit. So glad you're feeling better and thank you once again x
    • wen_54374
      wen_54374 Fairy28

      Posted

      It's never easy life is difficult at times and some of us seem to have more than most to deal with X one day at a time and be open to try anything .I had counselling it helped a bit but until u can sort out your Own head its a nightmare I know .perhaps ask to try a different anti depressant worth a go and be kind to yourself think about u for a change hard I know but we need to step back sometimes and start doing things for ourselves .I listen a lot to relaxation apps and they help to focus the mind .really has helped x
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 wen_54374

      Posted

      Than you , yes it's all a battle. I take on board all you say - I find things easier when I'm busy, keeping your mind occupied helps and trying to keep as busy as physically possible. It's when I sit down and during the night are the hardest times, when it's quiet it's difficult. Yes maybe it's about time we all started putting ourselves first for a change, just never seem to get the chance. X
    • dawn1967
      dawn1967 Fairy28

      Posted

      Hi lou86, reading your posts I feel like I'm reading about myself ! After years of depression bought on by a bad childhood, I finally, with the help of some wonderful dr's,  councillors and medication came out the other side. Unfortunately I'm now having the most awful time going through the dreaded menopause.  I'm experience so many symptoms which is making day to day living difficult. I'm only 49 but feel like an old woman at the moment 😡 Life is hard for us ladies, but I'm determined to get through it without my depression rearing its ugly head. There is always help out there for depression, if one anti depressant doesn't work another one will. It's just about finding the right one for you. It took 3 different ones before finding the one that really helped me. So don't give up....you'll come out the other side x
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 dawn1967

      Posted

      Hello dawn and sorry for your suffering - things that happen in our young years can sadly have a devastating effect on the rest of our lives IF we let it, it's not easy.......lots has happened to me aswell and im 54 now and it's still there in my head, it's learning to deal with it. Yes anxiety and depression is very difficult but hopefully one day things will be brighter. I am very lucky in lots of ways and cling on to one day in the future there will happier times. Thank you x
    • Chuckj
      Chuckj Fairy28

      Posted

      Hi Lou and Dawn

      I am sorry that both of you have suffered some traumatic events in your life in the past that is still affecting you now. I appreciate that the menopause is adding to the distress both physically and mentally.

      Have you thought of pursuing some wwellbeing support from NHS talking therapies. There is support out there offering cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness training. I know this form of guided self help can help you deal with triggers that cause anxiety, depression and low mood. Enquire at your GP surgery for contact details, or you can self refer if you can find your local service. I hope this helps.

    • dawn1967
      dawn1967 Chuckj

      Posted

      Hi Chuckj thank you for your advice. Although I have many symptoms of the menopause ( hot flushes, exhaustion, painful joints, low mood etc ) my depression hasn't returned as of yet. I spent many years dealing with it and getting the right treatment so I pray that this won't bring it on. I do sometimes wake up in the mornings thinking ' oh no not another day ' but I know it's due to these symptoms rather than the reasons in the past that had bought the depression on....if that makes sense. I just hope when I finally get through it ( I've been peri for 3 years ) that some of these symptoms stop. Especially the awful joint pain which I find the worst. I couldn't bear the thought of living like this forever ! Thank you again x
    • dawn1967
      dawn1967 Fairy28

      Posted

      Thank you lou86, although I don't like to think others are going through a hard time, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone. I feel that although it's taken me many years to overcome my depression, I've finally know how to deal with it and keep it at bay (I hope !!)😀 I do find myself wishing that when I wake up each morning that my menopause symptoms will have disappeared . Unfortunately that day hasn't come yet ! I feel totally exhausted all the time, like I always need more sleep. The joint pain is there everyday, so are my bad moods. I do feel sorry for my partner........4 years ago he met a pleasant woman.......he's now got a mad one ! Sometimes he feels he can't do anything right, which makes me feel guilty. Then the next minute I'm in a bad mood again !! Hope there's an end to this 😂 x
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 Chuckj

      Posted

      Thank you Chuckj very much but I did try one session and I honestly felt it was a complete waste of time and I feel put off - she looked about 12 years old and just sat there saying " oh bless " ! I felt pretty let down actually and thought to myself if this is therapy then no thank you ! No life experience, maybe qualified but knew nothing ! I think maybe online therapy from someone who's been there is the better way. ........Maybe things will improve soon, we live in hope x
  • patricia16507
    patricia16507 Fairy28

    Posted

    I can't offer any suggestions to you lou86 but as a fellow health anxiety and fatigue sufferer I'm sending out big hugs to you XX
  • Chuckj
    Chuckj Fairy28

    Posted

    Hi Lou

    There is light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently going through menopause, and every day there does seem to be another worry or niggle. However, the best thing to do is deal with one thing at a time.Always keep a notebook by your bed, so if you are woken up with a worry, write it down and it amazing how relieving this simple act is.

    Every day deal with one or two things, then cross it off your list.

    Take time concentrating on a hobby or just doing something you enjoy. In my case I have taken up gardening, not in a big way, but I am growing plants and flowers in sections if my front garden. And to see the plants and flowers grow and bloom is such a good feeling. I spend small amounts of time in the garden, and Tha takes my mind off most other things.

    Also, tweaking your diet helps. I have reduced the amount if white carbs I eat, such as white bread, rice and pasta. I eat porridge with fresh ir tinned fruit in the morning, have a healthy ham, tuna or chicken salad with yoghut as pudding for lunch at work and a healthy evening meal with the family sitting at the table.

    It is good time to go out with your girlfriends for a chat and catch up over coffee or lunch, as it is good to talk. Or even just catch up over the phone. It is tempting to become introverted, but it is so worth pushing yourself to do things. One thing accomplished each day feels so good.

    I am told by a colleague at work that it does eventually get better, and the fog eventually lifts, and I am looking forward to that time. But in the meantime, I am going to continue with the above techniques. I wish you well.

    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 Chuckj

      Posted

      thank you yes I also enjoy doing the garden, I like pottering about with pots and boarders, also where we live is very rural and I do get lots of pretty birds that I take a huge interest in - im very lucky in lots of ways but would just like to feel physically better like so many other ladies here - I guess the day will come eventually x
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.