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Does it get easier ?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Sansan93
Sansan93

It's been a month since I've got diagnosed and everything I try like go to the gym eat health be social all that I feel good temporary but at the end of it all I realize I'm not the same as everyone here I'm emotional very disturbed because I miss the person I use to be happy and confident , when guys hit on me or try to talk to me I just think .. You would never talk to me if you knew what was really going on you would probably think I'm gross ... Sighs just to much emotions

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Sansan93

    Posted

    Lol... I'm not laughing to be insensitive, I'm laughing because I thought exactly how you did for a few months after it. I don't think that now and I've had it since July. I do think how they look at me and assume I have nothing, but I don't think about them not wanting me if they only knew about my status anymore. So clearly is is a phase of of emotions you go through and you're just not in the final acceptance stage yet. Don't even worry about men, until you can flirt w guys guilt free and not automatically start degrading yourself like you're not good enough. Eventually you'll think about it less and less and realize that you can live a normal life.
    • Sansan93
      Sansan93 feelbroken

      Posted

      Yeah you are right I haven't come to final stage of acceptance everything heals within time I guess this gives me hope that I will soon be like you and not even think about it. Thank you
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Sansan93

      Posted

      Lol.. Well I wouldn't go that far. Not a day goes by where I don't think about it, but I just don't think about it w the association of devastation anymore. I feel that it stinks and some days I have felt anger, but for the most part it is a waste of energy to feel that way. Keep your head up and do what is beat for you and not what others tell you to do
  • david84345
    david84345 Sansan93

    Posted

    "You would never talk to me if you knew ...." Are you sure about that???? What makes you assume they don't have it also, or something worse???  Don't worry, be happy and don't assume the worst in others.  Flirt and enjoy life, you are still the same person you were before.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken david84345

      Posted

      What is your experience w telling new partners? Have they accepted it? It seems like girls have this disease, but like no men have it based on my friends and me not knowing men who have it and based on the fact that it's mainly women who post online. Either men don't tall about it or choose to be in denial, because they don't want t to have that talk.
    • david84345
      david84345 feelbroken

      Posted

      Since I found out I have not had a girlfriend to tell.  I have told a male friend of mine only to find out he knows at least 2 other male friends who also have it.  My sister has had it since she was 19 (she is now 40).  More people have it than you may think.  Women tend to talk about everything more than men, it's nothing new.  This is just the same.  We keep that kind of stuff to ourselves until it becomes revelent.
  • chai18
    chai18 Sansan93

    Posted

    I got diagnosed when I had my first outbreak (three months into a relationship with my current boyfreind I've been with for two and a half years now). I hadn't had sex with my boyfreind yet because we were really getting to know each other.  For the first month or two, I felt completely horrible. He went with my to my gynecologist to get tested. She looked at my sores and immediately knew what it was. I was devastated, embarassed, and kept thinking how awful it would be when I told my boyfreind. He was so upset... But not at me. At the guy who had given it to me. You will find someone (and now, I know you will find many people) who will accept you and realize that this is not your fault, any more than catching the flu from sharing a drinking glass or something is. You are worth so much more than a diagnosis on a piece of paper. This has given me so much strength really. I've been sexually active without a problem (my partner still tests negative), I am able to do everything I did before, I am confident because I know there is no way anybody knows, and even if they were to judge me for it, I honestly wouldn't care because HSV2 does not affect my life on a daily basis. Also, you would be surprised at how many people have it. Many more than you may think. You are not alone, and you will come to realize that this is not a huge flaw or debilitating thing like some may think. It does get better. Yes, I was terribly depressed, but you learn to not blame yourself, and not make a big deal out of who will accept you, who will think you're gross. You tell who you trust, and the rest is just like anything else. You can be happy and confident again, and you will be. Just give it time. 
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