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Me & my bf have been dating for 9 months now. During the first month of being official his mother was diagnosed with cancer. He ended up losing his job. He has been struggling with debt ever since. He felt terrible cause he couldn't get me anything but I assured him I didn't care about money. I met his family for the holidays & he told me they really like me cause he never seen them so smitten. They never acted that way with any of his previous girlfriends.
So his mom came to stay with his grandma during christmas. Things were good & I met her. Come March my bf all of sudden wasn't responding to me. Turns out his car got towed & he was in the middle of being almost evicted. He said he was sorry for not speaking for week but his life got real. That's when the depression hit. For 2 months he wouldn't let me see him & turned out he wasn't speaking to his family for 3 months. He stopped a month prior from me. He was still talking but not as much. Sometimes there were misunderstanding & he would call a week later saying he has been thinking of me.
I finally got him to see me again come May. He told me to never ever think its me if he ain't talking but him going back into shell. About 2 weeks ago he told me part of him wants his mom to die but the other doesn't. He said this after I kissed his head like a kid & he said "just like mom only difference is u actually care". I told him it wasn't true she does but he only said she cares because she is dying. She abandoned her children.
My bf only speaks when we are f2f not on phone but its hard to get him to see me when depressed. He hates where he stays cuz of his roommates. I did need him one day but he responded not right now bby I'm sorry. I wanted to visit him, I felt overwhelmed by something else. He is usually there for me. Last time i asked if he was ok after that. He told me "I'm fine...."
I knew he wasnt so I left a message. I told him he is not the crappy person he thinks he is. Whoever put those thoughts in him is wrong. I can't undo what others did to him but I promise that i will care cherish him for future. He made a post few hours later on fb about surviving the phases of life, heartbreak, and devastation. So not sure if I got through or just coincidence since he hasn't made a post in over a month.
There's so much more I can say about how he had verbally abusive ex fiancee that cheated on him for 10 years but this has gotten long. He doesn't respond to me unless I get worried & I leave him alone for days. Sometimes I wonder if it really is me. When he sees me he tells me things & touches me & acts like himself a bit. I'm just confused some days.
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