Does this ever stop hurting?

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i have ptsd, i have a history of assault support, touch is non-existent in my marriage. can it ever come back and without all the horrible feelings attached? i look at baby clothes and just want to weep. to be forced medication to be forced to miscarriage has left me feeling numb. how do i get rid of any of these feelings. i'd sooner steal a child so left my job because of this! it's just so tough. it's never gone that feeling of dirt, shame and mostly sadness. does anyone understand? anyone?

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