Posted , 17 users are following.
It all started about 3 months ago, this might sound really strange but I smoked weed for the first time with my friends and since it was my first time and I guess we had quite a lot I started to hallucinate and so it was my first time it was quite scary but after a while it was fine. After getting off that a few hours later I felt normal as I usually would. However the next day I felt really out of it and for some reason my brain was telling me "your not here" and all these strange thoughts that I was still tripping out and for some reason I believed what my brain was telling me. So since then I believe that smoking weed made me feel anxious and paranoid throughout my daily life. I smoked a few times with friends after the first occurrence and I believe it made it worse. I fell into peer pressure, I can't really blame peer pressure though as I should of just said no.
It has affected school, work and everyday life. I must sound crazy, but I have no idea why I'm getting these thoughts that keep telling me I'm not here because I am alive? You get what I mean, the thoughts are deceiving and trigger my anxiety. I always try to block out the thought and tell myself to stop thinking that I'm dreaming or I'm not here because clearly I am.
Sometimes when I go out into public I feel out of it like I feel like I'm not even there like I'm in a dream of some sort. This only happens sometimes in public and it triggers my anxiety. I did see a doctor and I have generalised anxiety, I Was referred to a psychologist and I will be seeing him next week. However I can't wait that long to talk about it. Having this weird condition has made me less eager for events and has crushed my motivation, I am no longer as optimistic as I used to be. I have had about 4 anxiety attacks in the past 3 months. I really want to recover and return the old me again because I hate feeling like I'm not here and out of it all the time.
4 likes, 30 replies