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Doing wonderful and then..

Posted , 5 users are following.

Badluckj
Badluckj

I've posted on here before, a few weeks ago.. chronic hyperventilation.. depersonalization etc. You name it.. All after I was bed ridden and sick. Well, I got over the sickness, I started taking my life back. Standing up to this thing. Going for runs, forcing myself to live again.. It was all great all my anxiety subsiding and I was looking forward to enjoying life again... until I sick AGAIN. With the same stuff. I get weak, full body chills, bad aches and pains/skin crawling and confusion... I've been getting these reoccuring symptoms since like October.. been ignoring it.. but now I'm just completely convinced i've got some horrible illness.. but if I don't and it's all in my head.. then WTF. 

1 like, 18 replies

18 Replies

  • Jajzmama571
    Jajzmama571 Badluckj

    Posted

    That's how mine is also. I feel good for a few months and then the bad sickness feelings come back again and it's like I start all over again. I get dizzy, shakes, lightheaded, kinda nauseous feeling, chest pains/muscle aches.. You name it! It's like all those months on my meds was for nothing and I started right back at square one again! I'm on Mirtzapine 15mg once a day at night, have been on that since January and it was working great up until a couple weeks ago and I had a total relapse and felt I was sick as you stated, went to ER, they gave me some crap in an IV, did a Head CT scan, bloodwork, urinalysis, and said all was fine except signs of a UTI... Again as always! That's the only thing they ever say. And I get scripts for a antibiotic and couple pain meds and sent on my way! I feel like they want to blame everything on my anxiety and just send me away as an easy way out! But I feel like they need to do more, I know some symptoms can be caused by anxiety but chest pains I get and dizziness/lightheadedness is pretty scary sometimes. I haven't had to take Ativan for the last 4 months or so, and recently I've been taking it once or twice a day now because of all this! I'm glad I had some leftover still because it's what gets me through the days lately!
    • Badluckj
      Badluckj Jajzmama571

      Posted

      The thing is I've had anxiety for yeaaaars. I've never had symptoms like this. I'm calm, I'm fine and then it's like I get the flu. I can't believe it's anxiety...but I'm definitely getting anxiety about it and I can't real that's real anymore. Sucks bad. The last time I got it I had bronchitis with it. Feels like it's a general response by my body for a sickness. I'm stubborn I won't take antianxiety meds lol. I want to try and work through it..anxiety can cause those chase pains and I think a UTI can cause body aches and pain...I dunno I just want my damn life back. I'm trying not to go insane
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 Badluckj

      Posted

      My last message is being moderated. I think I used a bad word lol. But please don't be ashamed of getting help! If that's a therapist and medication then so be it! It's worth it if it helps give you a better day to day life!
    • Badluckj
      Badluckj Jajzmama571

      Posted

      Loll, yeah that's happened ot me before on here. I'm not ashamed I do see a CBT therapist but it's hard to differentiate if i'm actually sick or it's just anxiety.. I feel like there is big dark looming unknown over my life.. like some sickness dwelling in my body.. drives me insane 
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 Badluckj

      Posted

      Oh I hear ya trust me! I don't know if I'm sick or I'm making myself sick or if all the medications I've been on and off of because doctors just wanna pick something to blame it all on that's making me sick! Years back when I was in my late teens and early twenties Id rarely go to the dr! I felt better back then when i was always out drinking and I smoked back then too. I'm 31 now and quit smoking at 22 and smoked since I think I was 17? But for some reason after having my last of 3 kids I've just become a worrying spazz about everything. Been in the ER I don't even know how many times in the last year or so and to urgent care and Drs office! I've had so many scans, X-rays, bloodwork, ultrasounds omg it's ridiculous. But it's like every time I go if they rule out one thing I feel a little better for a short time then something else pops up and I freak out again and send myself on an ER spree! Just don't know what to do about it anymore and I'm sure you feel the same way! It's almost like we just want the Drs to tell us..okay you have this and so we can be done with it and get on with our lives and do what we need to to help whatever it is they say we have! After all the imaging and tests I've had done and how I still feel it's hard to take the "everything's normal" results seriously! I'm here for ya, not sure how old you are or if you can relate to me in any way but I'm here!
    • stephx
      stephx Jajzmama571

      Posted

      This is so me accept I'm 24 I still smoke 😂 I've got three children just had my last child and I have turned into more of a hypercondria than I have ever been I'm practically living in doctors and hospital been out two weeks and been in doctors and hospital about 8 times ! To be honest I do have things wrong that started all this off again but I'm so fed up like will it end why am I wasting time worrying when if they is something it'll happen anyways but then I'm like what if they can stop it what if they are missing something 😬 I can't stop at all
    • Badluckj
      Badluckj Jajzmama571

      Posted

      I'm 26, but i've had anxiety and panic since I was 13. I'm not stranger to the ER drill lol. I think it comes down to acceptance. For me, my anxiety usually goes like this: Physical symptom- Obsession- Panic- Scared of being scared. --> go to doctor for complete testing. Once I get the okay there is no life-threatening, terminial illness, I say "okay then, this is just how my life is now I'm not dying so lets press on" and eventually things would subside. These are just new symptoms that are freaking me out and making me depressed. I can't go through my regular "oh its just anxiety" thoughts becuase right now I don't really know.. or maybe I do.. ahh lol
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 Badluckj

      Posted

      Wow your anxiety escalation pattern is the same as mine!! I start to feel symptoms... Then I start to obsess and freak out over them and start the googling... Then the panic kicks in and makes me feel even worse and more symptoms kick in... Next I'm in the ER/dr trying to get whatever tests done that I can to rule out anything major to hopefully relieve some of my anxiety! Sometimes it works for a short time but it's never that long before the whole cycle kicks back in again! I was just lucky to not have it happen for the last 4 1/2 months or so but now it's back and I've already been in the ER once and have a dr appt for Friday lol. I know some of its in my head but I'm not convinced that all of it is, I feel there truly is something causing some of the issues I'm having as they always seem to come back in the same places and same feelings. Sending hugs from Michigan though! Wish I could be more help to you!
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Badluckj

    Posted

    Do you wonder if it connected to sleep? Sleep issues? I say this because some doctor mentioned it to me but i didnt follow up.too scared too. But the crawling and tingling and headaches and such make me wonder. I get pulsitile tinnitus and tingling. I have tmj and i have some issue with my optic nerve they found three years back. No one tells me i have health amxiety be ause i have health issues to begin with but get so damn panicky over them and then go to the worst scenario.. They say its ptsd crisis from issues i have. Same thing if you ask me.I cant use meds so i guess they have to find a different diagnosis. I dont know. The past few weeks have been so hard more so then in the last two years and i cant figure this out at all. I bought magnesium glycinate which calm you and helps the muscles and nerves, everyone in my family has been using it, except the hubby hes anti pills of any kind. they feel great and then theres me. I dont feel great as they do. Ill go with a huge wtf too. Im so sick of all this. I sick of seeing happy people moving anout and enjoying their lives, im sick of anyone in my family judging me. This isnt a choice or an option. Noone on this earth would choose this. Im thinking its change of season and the insanely high pollen counts where i live, and i gained five pounds so im going to loose it maybe that effectd me. Im not even heavy but who knows. It runs in cycles for me. Im just praying this cycle ends soon. I go on and off for months to years with it. I want my life back, i love life but this crap it sucks out the enjoyment and appreciation for it. Not even depression when you feel sick it get to you, and when it passes im happy again. The other theory i got was from an alternative doctor a long time ago who said its reminant of the epstein barr virus so when your sick or very stressed it emerges and gave me some protocols for it. Idk my doc didnt agree but said no harm in following it haha that was a long time ago. And its food based celery juice, ginger, coconut oil (cant Use) avacadoes and bananas should be staples in your diet. Thn gave me expensive suppliments. Going forward a decade here i use b complex, get b12 shots, vit e every other day, and got the magnesium glycinate. Couldnt use the fish oil either and seem to get headaches from coenymeq10 (ubiqinol) which is probably my mind doing that because everyone i ow takes it and loves it.so it is a wtf kind of thing. Especially when you see people drinking and going out and eating fast food and they are fine?
  • stephx
    stephx Badluckj

    Posted

    This is so me I am fine for a while I get back on track and then all a sudden I will get the same symtoms but for me it will lead on to new symtoms aswell which will leave me so anxiouse I will push everyone away want to stay in bed ect I look at my life thinking I'm 24 I have a family a house ect I have everything and yet here I am wasting my days away it's a circle it's how to break it !
    • Badluckj
      Badluckj stephx

      Posted

      Wow, that's very interesting actually. I've had mono twice (epstein bar) when I was younger.. and these symptoms started after a night out drinking and I kissed someone. I think we have PTSD from the trauma of panic attacks. I think Steph, we need to say "you know what im not dying, you ARE NOT taking my life from me." But I know it's hard when you feel trapped.. it's like.. braving the unknown wilderness with danger around every corner lol... I dont know.. I just want to be happy too.. I use to just love to run around and lay in the grass.. feel the sunshine warm my face.. ahh.. 
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 stephx

      Posted

      You're not alone!! It's a vicious cycle for me too! I get chest pain, feels like my armpit nodes swell up, dizzy, light headed, throat gets tight feeling and I'm constantly making myself cough up just cause I feel like my throats closing and like my breathing is so shallow and don't have enough air! It's a scary feeling! I'm 31 and have 3 young kids of my own also and I know how you feel. Some days I feel like I could just stay in bed and sleep all day long and don't want to get up because as soon as I do the feelings come back and the anxiety kicks in. I know I need to be more active and not sit here and google everything and scare myself but I can't get my mind passed the thoughts and feelings. I had almost 5 really good months after starting on Mirtazapine and then it all came back and started over again within the past two weeks and I'm back taking Ativan daily to get me though the bad attacks!
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 Badluckj

      Posted

      If you ever need to talk please feel free to message me! Two three one - five seven one - zero two one eight. I know the thing that makes it even harder on me is having no one here to talk to about anything at all. It's nice to have someone to relate to!
  • Jajzmama571
    Jajzmama571 Badluckj

    Posted

    How you doing today Badluckj?
    • Badluckj
      Badluckj Jajzmama571

      Posted

      Spaced out, achey and depressed.. I'm going to force myself to go to the gym today but I dunno nothing really feels real. How are you?
    • Jajzmama571
      Jajzmama571 Badluckj

      Posted

      I've been pretty mopey all day also. I did get a lot of housework done lol and now playing with the kids outside with bubbles and sidewalk chalk... Mom life hahaha. I've been having to force myself to go to the gym also, for a while I was loving it and looked forward to going now it's like I have to drag myself up to go and I don't get much accomplished. I sent my number in one of the comments above I think I'm case you ever wanted to chat ad get things off your chest!
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