Don't believe everything you read on here

Posted , 6 users are following.

Since I've been on this forum and reading everyone's post's and replies, i feel it's important to inform you that herpes affects everyone differently. I have been infected for 14 years and no its was not the end of my world. Was i freaked out and uneducated? Of course. But i knew I would have this virus for the rest of my life so i was going to learn to deal with it.

My first ob was awful. I had the "kissing cousins" which were single blisters on each side of my labia. I remember living in the bathtub for two days to ease the pain. I've never had a ob as bad since. I'm even lucky enough to go months and even up to 2 years without a single ob. Now when I do get one i notice the signs of itching and tingling the day before and start my meds. I take double dose the 1st day. The ob usually only last 3 days.

Furthermore, i have had multiple partners in the last 14 years all of whom which NEVER CAUGHT THE VIRUS. So many believe that you are contagious 24/7. I do not believe this to be true. I regain from sex soon as I notice symptoms and for 2-3 days after blisters heals.

there are other areas i may be off assistance so ask me if you want. But please don't believe all you read from other infected newbies. Good luck and know 75% of the sexually active individuals will eventually have some form of herpesvirus and/or HPV. You are not alone and life does go on

1 like, 17 replies

17 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Theresa

    I love the way you are talking. Like you are normal. When you are with men, do you use protection with them? Do you have oral sex with them?

    Do you eat certain foods to help keep the big H away?

    I've had it for 4 years now but still paranoid on how contagious it is! I Feel likeI can pass it on at anytime, even with protection. Not because I have symptoms, just because I have it in me!

  • Posted

    Some people have been to medical school and/or doctors and being newly infected or not, still will know more than someone infected their entire life. If someone provides science and not just experience, you might wanna use the science for further education on your own to validate it. You can't really validate someones opinions or what they deem realistic.

    Also, be careful who you take advice from. These people arw part of the problem w spreading the disease around. You arw infected w this disease because of some selfish individuals here, care more about getting sex, than giving their partner the option to not be infected.

    As you may notice, this is someone who has had it for 14yrs, but she feels confident in saying she's never infected people she just has a one night stand w or a couple love affairs w. Mind you, most of you all lnow by now that over 80% of people who do get infected never know.. So now these people were u knowingly infected, by a selfish infected person and then they sleep w uninfected people such as myself and the rest of you who are newly infected, our lives effected terribly and in lots of emotional and physical pain, all because people like Theresa are so selfish and getting their rocks off is more important than just keeping your pants on and/or informing your partner. Bravo...

    Sorry.. Nobody needs to take advice from someone w the moral compass and mentality to sleep around w people and not tell them. You cannot be 100% positive you never infected your casual flings and if you knew anything about tjoa disease, you'd not spread such false confidence around as you just did keep your selfish and devious advice to your self please, as it is people like YOU that have negatively ruined our lives. It is sick that you even come on here and give advice yo innocent people who has no choice or say and were lied to, who were given the option, because they ARE people like YOU, who cares more about getting their rocks off, than how you'll run for some their lives. Please lady.. Get off your sick high horse. You should be ashamed w yourself!!

  • Posted

    But you still need to be safe and tell the guys u sleep with you have this.

    I do agree though is you do need each person is different with herpes. I came here worried and got good advice but once I went back to the clinic felt I was worrying too much over this and it's not really a big deal. Apart from telling the guys you sleep with there no reason to tell anyone.

    I told a couple female friends and their reaction was so much different to the male friends I have. While some people have bad outbreaks or bad experiences not everyone is the same this what does need to be pointed out here. So far I been lucky infact had a few interesting conversations with guys and they don't seem to be bothered although yes you got to be careful. This really important is being safe and this was a wake up call for myself as I was not always. If you sleep about with no protection then you looking to get more than just herpes.

    Herpes is not great but also not a death sentence. But we need to remember each person deals with it differently too. Some are stronger than others and some still dealing with it too. I feel much better about herpes and was more upset about breaking up with my ex which was not just about herpes why we split. We can still live normally and no need to go round telling family/ friends really. I asked do u need to tell your doctor was told no. I feel no need to feel disgusted with yourself and it's not anyone fault we have this.

    I think it's best we try be positive rather than negative because only makes a person on here first posting who just diagnoised worse. This sites make u worse but some sites uplifting as people do get on have husband/family.

    The only worry I have is that would like a baby how would that happen if you meant to be safe with your partner who don't have it? I forgot how that works.

  • Posted

    I'm not sure why she is being attacked for saying none of her partners have been infected? If you take some time to carefully reread the post you'll understand what she is trying to say. She never wrote that she intentionally withheld her condition from her partners. This is a rough condition to have so instead of sending discouraging and presumptive responses, remember we're experiencing the same condition so respect is important first and foremost.
    • Posted

      I had to read twice that why I said but if u still need to be safe and tell the guys. Was not sure what she meant if she been not safe.
    • Posted

      Thanks for your response lady. I'm okay with being attacked, I'm more mature to get personal. In response to those who didn't understand my point, I'll answer your questions.

      I am a very attractive, mature, and responsible woman. I have never felt or been treated as if having herpes as death to my love life. Men are simple creatures; love them, respect them, and give them sex. Men who receive this don't let the fact that the woman who is providing all of his needs but has hsv come in the way. Education and safety are key. As long as you educate them about the virus and do your best to protect them men aren't going to go running to the hills.

      I DO NOT TELL EVERYONE, in fact i haven't told hardly anyone about having hsv. Except my lovers of course. But even then i don't tell them right away until I know they aren't a douche and gonna treat me like a disease. Do i sleep around like one of you commented? If course not. That's how I got this damn virus in the first place. My mom is one of the only Ppl that know and even she said to keep it confidential. Family and friends that don't have the virus don't understand the virus and label us in horrible ways. I did confess to my teenage son who is close to losing his virginity, only so he realizes std's are real and easily contracted.

      Getting pregnant and having a baby with hsv is very safe these days. You can opt to have a cesarean birth if your ob are frequent and bad, but the doc will assure you all will be okay.

      Feelbroken, you are still obviously dealing with all the high emotions of becoming newly infected. A few years from now you'll realize life still goes on. Someone will love you regardless of your hsv. Trying to interpret what I'm writing in your own words isn't upsetting anyone but yourself. Good luck and stay strong. It's not the end of the world I promise

    • Posted

      Theresa, it is messages like yours that I want to read on here. It fills me with confidence readi g about someone who has control of HSV. I have been trying to get together with a woman that I've liked for a longtime. We had sex three weeks ago, with a condom, but I feel guilty for not telling her what I have. She's asked me to go skiing with her and some friends since. I need to tell her before then but don't know when or how.

      Any tips?

    • Posted

      Well Brittany, I am glad you asked. Theresa has been on other posts and has responded to some of mine. Her advise was she tells only the guys that love her upfront, but does not tell the guys she is having a casual fling w, as her reason was because they will tell people. She stated she used protection w all those casual guys and says none got it, but how do you know? Not the people on here aren't even sure once they have an ob who they got it from and the vast majority of people get infected and never know.

      So we all know that casual flings, you're not keeping in contact w them like that to be so sure that she didn't pass. That is my reason for what you call attacking her. I resent people w her mentality, because people like her are why I have it.

    • Posted

      No... You are not telling the truth and I can direct them to the link where you admitted to only sharing it w the ones that care about you, bit you've not told the guys that were just flings. Stop acting like an innocent marytwr because you're not and you know it. When I called you put on it in another post, you got snippy and told me not to judge you and said believe you, if a giy doesn't love you, he will tell people.

      So don't try to gas light me lady, you are morally corrupt.

  • Posted

    So, I live in a small village. If i told everyone that I wanted to sleep with that I have herpes I would be the talk of the village!
    • Posted

      So your solution is to do what you just did and not tell someone and possibly infect them? Right.... Bravo... Way to have integrity for your own selfish desires. Move if that's the problem and I don't know where you live, but I know it is illegal here where I live to knowingly have herpes, sleep w someone and not tell them. Better hope that it's not illegal there and you infevt someone, because when it goes to court, it goes in the paper and everyone will know
    • Posted

      I was giving an example of someone that wouldn't want their whole village knowing what they have got.

      i don't know what is right and wrong. There is a million people saying different things on how infectious this is. I'm trying to deal with it like everyone else. What I'm not doing is blaming everyone else for me catching it. It was my own faukt for not being carful to start with. Not somebody else's for not telling me.

    • Posted

      Tell yourself whatever to make yourself feel better. When people lie when you have the std discussion, it absolutely is not my fault and is the fault of the liar. I don't care how infectious you think and don't think it is. It is illegal to not tell someone for a reason and any person who does not share their status deserves to be sued. Don't act self-righteous, because you are choosing to lie, which everyone knows lying is wrong.
  • Posted

    i just wanted to add some perspective.i have had herpes simplex 1 for the last 46 years. We are all exposed to the virus and some have antibodies against it. For example. My first out break was when I was 13, simplex one is oral herpes but the same thing in essence .......The first two years were very rough. After the initial outbreaks, I would only have outbreaks about three times a year, usually while under stress. I was still having out breaks when I had children. Of course I was careful when I felt one coming  on but neither ever got herpes. Also while I was growing up with five siblings, none of them caught it. But yes they are contagious. We know that some people will never get them, they have immunity. But not a reason not to be careful. Because who knows who has immunity...any how by the time I was thirty I had one herpie outbreak in that decade. Just one! Since then I have had none....zero....nothing so it really isn't for life, yes it's still in the body but the body knows how to deal with it. I think maybe five years tops, it was hard. Because mine were oral they were obvious, and hurt as well. People who have simplex one can not get genital herpes. One good thing. I think people take it hard because it's in the genital area and feel a stigma. It's not a big deal your outbreaks will go away. It's not a life sentence. Relax and be glad it's not something worse.
    • Posted

      OK.. Well I appreciate your perspective, oral herpes and genital herpes are very different w how society views them. Everyone accepts the fact that just about everyone has oral herpes.. It is not a big deal to have oral.

      I would like to point out that your information is incorrect on having oral herpes prevents you immunity from genital herpes. This is not true. You at best may have some antibodies to assist in prevention, but they said it is not a high probability. I have hsv 1 orally and I still caught hsv 2 on my gentitals. We are not talking about the same things here and please be careful spreading that information around. I respect and appreciate you mean well, but it is not true.

    • Posted

      Never have sex while having an outbreak always tell people upfront you have them. Use protection if you feel you might be getting an outbreak. Be cautious ...and respectful towards others. Just as you would want others to be open with you about them. 

      Habe respect for your body and your self esteem, don't have casual sex just because you feel like it. It won't make you a better person. Be disaplined as much as possible. Don't disrespect your self or others that's the whole lesson here. I'm not a prude, but some people make a,career out of having sex with everyone and anyone. The problem with that is it will come back to bite your bum later in life. 

    • Posted

      I agree completely.. I got this after going two yrs w out sex. The one thing all my friends say? You're the last person I'd imagine getting it, never you, because I have always been conservative w being w someone physically. I see people who have been disgusting w their sex life and slept w so many people and have nothing. I have felt regret at times for not being more sexually free w my number of partners, cause look where it has gotten me? Paid off didn't it? Meanwhile I watch people who have slept w people in the high numbers get off scotch free. It's not fair

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