Don't get rid of my devils because my Angels might go there too!

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I was listening to 'Desert Island Discs' on radio 4 this morning and Stephen Fry quoted the above when asked if he would rather not have Bi-Polar.  I found his reply very helpful and wonder how other people on this forum feel about having the condition.  I was diagnosed in 1977 although I knew I was 'different' way before that (am now 58 yrs old). Bi-Polar is integral to being who I am and although I regret suicide attempts and the chaos I have caused both to myself and others when manic, I simply cannot imagine not having this illness.  I have finally been prescribed a drug regimen that helps me have more control and thus the opportunity to engage more with life.  I do still get black moods and sometimes my husband points out that I am flying too high, but at least these states do not dominate my existence as they used to do.  How do the rest of you feel?  

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  • Posted

    Great quote from Stephen Fry love it xx I'm in the process of being diagnosed with bioilar 13 years on im 48 now. You're obviously managing yous well x
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    • Posted

      I see I neglected to mention that Stephen Fry was quoting from a line by the poet WH Auden.  I hope you are now able to get on with your life in a balanced way now you have been diagnosed. Best wishes
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  • Posted

    I had my first bout of bi polar when I was 20, and, unfortunately, it wasn't properly diagnosed until I was 32, and then I wasn't put on any effective medication until I was 40 three years ago, and it's only since then that I feel I am now fulfilling my potential and getting a grip on life. And while I feel my condition has made me a more compassionate and insightful person, particularly towards those who struggle in life, I regret a little all those years wasted battling the intransigence and obtuseness of psychiatrists and GPS. Even with my current medication, I had to persuade my GP to put me on it. I long ago gave up with psychiatrists. But I am now stable, life is looking good, and so onwards and upwards!
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    Hi Clare I love that quote too.  I feel very much like you in that I would not have done some of the things I have in the past; and caused such hurt to the people that love and care about me, however, I am not that person any longer.  I am fortunate to have been prescribed medication that works for me and I truly forget that I have a disorder because as long as I ensure I take the meds and never miss, and look after myself, I know I have control over the illness.  Much like people who are affected by other chronic illness. I am forever grateful for the care I have received in the past. smile
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    • Posted

      Dear Jo, I have upset so many people over the years that some of them seem unable to forgive me.  Thus, for example I am estranged from one of my brothers and some old friends don't want to know me anymore.  I stressed about this for a time, but now I am controlling the illness with regular meds I am able to look forward again.  The real friends have stuck by me and over the last year I have been able to forge new friendships.  My husband of 6 yrs has stood by me and I can even bear him telling me stories about the things i did when manic.  Mostly we enjoy experiencing 'the now' and are able to make modest plans for the future.  I am so glad you experienced good health care in the past.  I think it is vitally important for the Govt. to fund mental health services, especially young people so they can have a future without mental tumult.
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  • Posted

    Hi All,So much of what has been said resonates with me anytime that i decide to dip into this forum and for that i thank you all.I have a big smile on my face because i had an interview for a new job on friday and have been offered it,you will be able to recognise that interviews are not easy at best but i think because of my now controlled bipolar it enhanced the process (i had to do a presentation,numeracy test) it lasted over 1hr but talking is never my problem !!! the biggest thing for me was that i was controlled,measured in my answers,clear and concise.Without mania propelling me into the stratisfere i came away feeling i'm begining to find out who i really am !!! So i too will keep taking the tablets !!! onwards but not upwards !!!!!
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    • Posted

      Hi, Lynne, well done in your smooth job interview and new job, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and be an asset. I too started a job last year at a national art gallery which I feel is much more suited to my talents. And I didn't fluff the interview either...cool and collected! So the drugs DO work!

      PS) I only meant 'upwards' in the sense of reaching my pinnacle in my potential as a person!

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    • Posted

      Dear Lynne, many congratulations on getting that job.  Also thank you for promoting the idea that meds make sense. All I can recommend to people who are struggling with their medication is to go back to the doctor and ask him/her to try something else.  Good luck, Lynne and please keep posting, if you have the time.
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