Don't know what to do
Posted , 6 users are following.
I'm in the airport trying so hard not to bust into tears. It's literally a lot going on rn for me and It feels over whelming. Like how could I leave my mom on a bad note. Sometimes I just wanna take my life but I can't because I'm afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid of what it's gonna be like where it's just darkness. Is there really a god ? Will I make it to heaven? Will I burn in hell? This is the only reason why I can't take all this pain away. But when I'm gone, how is my family gonna take this. First my dad now my grandpa. Those people always stay in our lives and we love them dearly. This place is the only place where I can share my true feelings and so many wonderful people tries to help other people. I never see people commenting negative things. Y'all always say something and I appreciate y'all. Even though we are all strangers I love y'all. Forreal
0 likes, 10 replies
crystal95126 ayanna90008
Posted
sheldon63577 ayanna90008
Posted
It will be alright. Just see this as a not so happy chapter in your life. It will get better. You are still young trust me in a few years you will look back on this and not quite understand why you felt that way. And don't you have your mother's phone number or something? Call her tell her that you are sorry that you love her, you clearly do. Just don't think about taking your life. I know it is hard but trust me it will get better. I personally am not that old, I haven't been on this world for that long but it seems like a good place. You just need to find it, there is good everywhere. And if for some reason you can't find it, make it. Just, be happy, I know that can be hard, just, you seem like an amazing and strong person, you see? You have been through a lot and you are still kicking. You will make it! We are all here for you.
cia42277 ayanna90008
Posted
I know you do not want to do that to them, so kick that idea right out, right now!!! Get your courage and love and determination out of the closet you have put them in, and get on with living.
You will find a lot of help, caring and good advice right here. Spend some time reading through other anxiety discussions here and you will see there are many others worse off than you, that perhaps you could give a word of encouragement.
I have often found that if I need something, and find someone to give what I need. It helps every time, dear Ayanna. A big hug to you,Honey.
deirdre._03652 ayanna90008
Posted
I truly believe that our loved ones never ever leave us. They still watch over us, because a love so strong can never, ever die....
Your family would be so relieved if you open up to them, so please lovey tell them how you feel.....
Never, ever forget...your family love you xx as much....if not more as you love them....in my heart ...hugs lovey....xxxxxx
sheldon63577 ayanna90008
Posted
I need to say more. You, little old you. You are amazing, you are strong. Life has been difficult and you have made it through. I don't know you or your life but you are here now and you have made it to this point, talking with us because you need help. And that is ok, that is good, everyone needs help at some point. You are not alone, never think that, and life will get better. As some people have said, get help from your gp. You will make it. just you will. Love honestly goes out to you from me and everyone else here. Rock on live your life it is so precious and amazing. Find people in your life to love, not sure if that is the right word, to live for I guess, have goals to reach, a meaning. You can do it. There are probably a million other things I will think of telling you but I think this is all, for now atleast. :-) live. Love. Laugh.
lisalisa67 sheldon63577
Posted
write your thoughts they are amazing. You are an amazing person and i think once you get your stuff all managed you will soar in this world. Hoe lucky is the future knowing someone like you is in it.
cia42277 sheldon63577
Posted
sheldon63577 lisalisa67
Posted
Thank you, both of you. I don't know what to say.
deirdre._03652 ayanna90008
Posted
sue58256 ayanna90008
Posted
first of all my love the idea of burning in hell is a myth heaven is a place of love and light and for those who do take their own life are given healing and rest by their loved ones and others, but darling you are to precious for that and when someone does die from illness or natural causes they are free from illness worry ect its those they leave behind that suffer and grieve. Please open up to your family let them in to your world and tell them how you feel. i am sure that somewhere hiding is a bright funny caring person that needs to get her identity back and YOU WILL with help and the love of your family. while we are going through this we lose all sense of who we once were we have all gone through it my love, so all of us on here will genuinely understand how you feel and we will support you in any way we can. yes we start of as strangers but we become friends and each one of us will be willing you to get better. I have gone through it for years on and off this time being the worst as I am going through the peri I was frightened and scared i though this is it im going in the loony bin but this time was different I have a good doctor who understood I am having CBT and I have a good manager and work colleges who have been so supportive along with my family and that has made such a difference being able to be open and talk. I also stumbled across this page and the support and reassurance I have had has been amazing. I am now out of the dark cloud and in a better place I have no doubt in the future i will slip but I am in a stronger place to fight it I WONT let it control my life any more I WILL control it. you have so much to live for my lovely you have made a start you come and talk to people on here YOU WILL get through it Im fifty three so if an oldie like me can get through it so can you. keep strong