Don't know where I am with my depression

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I don't know where my depression is at. This time a year ago it was at its worst, then I made some changes and thought it had sorted itself out and I didn't go through counselling or get medication or anything but a few months ago it reappeared, not as badly. Nowadays I sometimes feel great and positive and sometimes feel it there dragging me down telling me that I'm useless, life is pointless.. Is this just normal persons emotions? Should I see someone about it incase it does develop and get to the stage it was last year? 

I'm also stressing about something else - my lack of friends. I'm 20 and living at home after leaving uni early, then travelling a bit, but all my friends live miles away as they're either at uni, or they're people I met at uni who also live at home now but live at the other end of the country. I can get up to see them occasionally but it's expensive so not that often and the ones at uni are home for Xmas and summer but that's not a lot. I spend most evenings and days off on my own or at home with my parents which is kinda sad isn't it? A lot of the time I'm fine with it I like my own time but the. Sometimes I feel like a loser, and it'd be nice to have people I'm close with around more often to go out with etc 

Any advice on either issue?

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Good morning Rebecca, 

    I am in a postition very similiar to yours, about 3 years ago I found that I did suffer from depression but I was ashamed so I didn't go to councelling and I wouldn't take the medication incase it changed who I wanted to be, Luckily I changed a lot of things and for a period of time everything was fine, and I was 'happy' But since I left college 4 months ago i've been unemployed and I am now feeling heavily depressed again because I do not socialise much at all, only through the internet and I live at home also where I feel i do not belong.

    Look for places in your local area, that do meet-ups for common interests, i've been to a few relating to music and you get to meet some great people, some of which I now call friends, I also have a lot of online friends and although I do not get to do anything with them it's always nice to know there's someone other than family to talk to.

    You've just got to take each day as it comes, forget about the past and how your depression started, just focus all your energy and 'sadness' onto finding a way around it, finding a way to overcome it, try and enjoy the little things in life. 

    I doubt i've been any help to you but I just wanted to let you know there are people who go through the same things as you and I and they are willing to help us, weeather it be just as a friend or as someone to just talk to!

    Wish you all the best rebecca, hope you get through this!

    -Ellis

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  • Posted

    Oh and I forgot, If you ever want to talk about anything what so ever, feel free to message me on here! Have a good day!
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  • Posted

    Hi Rebecca. I can understand how you feel. I don't have friends to go out with, but I've found some people online to talk to (penpals) and that's helped me a lot and also, this site is great as well. It's impossible to feel alone here, as there are always people who will be supportive smile  Another thing is, I'm trying to occupy myself with things that bring me some joy - writing, going for walks, reading,... I'm currently without a job, so I can't do much, but it's amazing how many things you can find to do even without money... I hope any of this helps and wishing you the best of luck xx
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  • Posted

    Hello R, I can really empathise with your situation & how you feel, a year ago when I went through an absolute nightmare of bi-polar'ish symptoms & anger I finally went to see my GP (who I know really well), i felt really awkward, embarrassed & just didn't want to explain how I was feeling. . But if I hadn't I don't think it would have ended well, because I r e a ll y needed medication!

    Personally speaking, nothing else would have helped; I feel that the other suggestions of socialising from the other comments is a really positive step, but if you are really suffering then please do yourself a favour/ give yourself a break and go and see a Dr. . I've finally been referee to a counselor, which I actually feel listened to ' as I don't think unless you've 'been there' you can possibly understand what a scrambled, suicide brain really feels like!

    The first am I was due to take sertraline (anti depressant) I wanted to tear up the packet. !! But things are getting better now '& I'm far away from where I was, although it is a battle in which I do need help through medication.  

    Keep on talking, & please value yourself because you do matter ! I wish you all the best' and good luck M. 

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  • Posted

    hi yes book your self in for some councilling with your gp and ask about groups so u can manage your depression! its an illness and can be controlled with tools u will learn . your not a loser thats ur depression talking!! have a look at a video on youtube called i have a black dog and its called depression! will explain more to you. julie
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  • Posted

    Definately see your gp and explain how you feel just as you have here....

    The groups they can suggest are a good starting point to meeting new people and go from there

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  • Posted

    Hi Rebecca,

    I cant really help you with the first part of your post, but the friends living miles away i definitely can!

    All my friends moved to uni a year before i did as i had to have an operation meaning i had to defer, it is SO hard knowing your friends are 'out there' having an amazing time meeting new people while you're at home pretty much alone. Obviously like you said, traveling the country is pretty pricing and not possible to do frequently, do you skype any of your friends at all? I really enjoyed having skype dates with my friends and i felt more included in their lives. Also do you/are you able to work? This really helped me in terms of not only keeping me busy but meeting new people smile

    Hope this helps even a little 

    x

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