Don't know where to turn

Posted , 6 users are following.

Had fibro for about 7 years and feeling very low and dont know where to turn.

I have tried to explain to my husband bout my fibro and even left a leaflet lying around but he shows no interest or concern. I have not got terrible brain fog, I struggle with work and make daft mistakes but no one knows what is wrong with me.  I am worried I lose my job and my husband just shouts at me. Have become very distant and think I might have become depressed. I work very long hours I leave the house at 7.45 am and get home near 7pm.and also help care for my elderly parents. Its just one big roller coasted.  I am in pain all the time and every wearing a heavy coat hurts me.

I actually dont know what to do..  Please I am not looking for sympathy I just dont know where to turn. I tried to tell my doctor I was sruggling and he just moved on to soething else

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    First off ask your husband to remember his most vigorous and strenuous work out ever, including perhaps hard labor. Then tell him to imagine that three days in a row, tell him to imagine what it would feel like the day after... when all the pain set in. Tell him THAT is fibro!

    Next depression is a symptom of fibro for many of us! Go see someone, get on a proper med. Do not feel like you are less of a person for needing meds to manage depression. In my own case I took if for about 2 years the first time with maybe 3 flare up in the rest of the 13 years or so I have had fibro. If your doctor doesnt have your back... switch doctors! He doesnt need your business if he isnt doing his job.

    Lastly, Im sorry to say it but you are doing too much. I dont know how to fix that for you but you might look into disability or a job that doesnt keep you on the go for so long. There is also no same answer for everyone. Fibro broke up my first marriage and keeps me from working. It took me years to get my SSI and because of nonsense with my doctors I didnt get the disability I deserved. So if you go that route make sure your doctor is taking and keeping proper notes with all that you can and cannot do.

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    • Posted

      thank you for your reply.  I dont know how the disability thing works.  I always thought it would go against me that i manage to work full time but the reality is its like being in a big black hole and i am on automatic pilot and each day is the same as the one before.  I have told my doctor I am struggling to work and I have already changed to this one, thought i would maybe go see a counsellor.

       

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    • Posted

      yes it will go against you but if you cant work you need to show that you cant. If you are in such pain you need to be medicated as an example then that means you cant really work since the meds that usually work are hindering in nature(like make you sleepy). You also dont get paid for a LONG time because you almost always have to fight for it.

       

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    • Posted

      So very true I stopped

      Working in2016 and applied for disability. I now have a lawyer who specializes in fibromyalgia cases and we are just waiting for the date. The hardest part you basically have to rely on family and friends if you’re single to maintain bills. In my case I’m also on VA disability so I get a check once a month. They want to see if your illness really affects your quality of life. And like you said HUGE paper trail and I have at least 2 dr on board for me to get ssi.

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    • Posted

      yup, NONE of my records convinced the judge, but SS had sent me to see one of their doctors and his reports were able to prove I was disabled as of that point... problem is it was 2 months after I ran out of time for my work credits sad I try and tell everyone now about how its soooo important to make sure your doctors are keeping proper records! Unfortunately all my good records were too old and they wouldnt or couldnt use them or the current doctors were overworked or PAs. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Sorrentogirl

    I’m so sorry that you are going through this. If your current dr is not understanding and not helping then you can request to see a rheumatologist so they can work you up. I went through several drs until I found one that was sensitive to people who have fibromyalgia. If you think 🤔 you are becoming depressed then it would be a good idea to talk to your primary care doctor 👩??? to see if you need to be put on something or adjustment if you’re already on something. Family members are the most difficult people to deal with when it comes to illness .....especially fibromyalgia. On top of fibromyalgia I had colon surgery and now have a permanent colostomy bag and my kids did not believe until I made them read up on fibromyalgia and it wasn’t until they physically saw me because they live in SC that they slowly start to understand. I was married for 21yrs and my ex left me because he didn’t want to deal with it. Now I pray that doesn’t happen to you I only shared that to let you know I definitely understand. Can’t quite understand why the hubby won’t help with your parents. You may need t make some new decisions so you can take care of yourself better. Because I can’t do it . It’s too painful. You may want to rethink your working hrs if you can. Now I don’t know if you tried anything like physical therapy or acupuncture or natural resources or meds. But with your that may be difficult that’s why I said that you may need to rethink things so that you can take better care of you. Until then take one day at a time. Rest when you can and don’t try to do everything in one day. Stay positive and keep coming to this site because we truly do understand. Big hugs 🤗 to you.

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  • Posted

    I know how you you feel,less than a year for me. S o alone and lonely. You must be a very strong person, Prayer sent.

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  • Posted

    Have you tried cymbalta? It has helped so much. Once I found I got caught up in depression it caused many more issues and treated depression antidepressants that helped open up my brain to think clearer and resolved all the crazy foggy issues.

    we are all different what works for me may not for you.

    good luck

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