Don't want mum to move care homes

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Hi, my mother has vascular dementia and needs care for just about everything really, I.e going to the toilet and eating. She is currently in a small care home on "emi" / dementia unit within a "care home without nursing" she has been in there for nearly three months now and she seems settled. My siblings feel comfortable with mum there as we know personally some of the carers working there. 

We have a meeting with mums social worker this week at the home and we are worried that the home possibly want her moved elsewhere because of her advanced dementia. We really would not want her moved as this would cause her too much upset and the homes offered are large units with over 80 residents with not a good cqc report.

Do we as a family have a right to argue that we don't want her in a different home or will we just get told that moving mum elsewhere is the only option. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated


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  • Posted

    Harry, I can't offer practical advice, just commiseration, as I haven't lived in the UK for 40 years. I take care of a friend with vascular dementia, who had to leave her lovely 65-bed home eight months ago, and it's been a tough time. My friend's circumstances were different - after two happy years in the home, she became psychotic over a period of just a few weeks. She made several serious attacks on staff and other residents, one of whom died shortly afterwards, though probably from shock rather than injuries. After a month in a geriatric ward, where they initially put her on the Liverpool Care Pathway, followed by seven weeks in a very nice psychiatric rehab unit (where she couldn't stay indefinitely, of course) she's now in a dire, 120-bed high-security unit, where she'll end her days.

    I don't know how the system works in the UK, but it seems to me that they might be concerned that your mum's deteriorating condition means that she's going to need intensive nursing in the near future. If she becomes completely bedridden, she'll need proper nursing care for things like bedsores etc. I don't know what rights you have in the UK. I hear the CAB has practically shut up shop these days, but do you have anything like Age Concern in your area, where you could get advice?

    I understand exactly what you're going through and really hope you can find a solution for your mum.

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  • Posted

    Hello harry23....

    I care for my mum at home 24/7... she has advanced Dementia...lily65668 has mentioned Citizens Advice and they can still offer some help although their suggestions may be limited by the options available in your area... also Age UK (formerly AgeConcern I believe) are a good source of info as well as is the Alzheimers hotline... I have recently had need to seek advice for some help and went through the Social Care Access Team (local)...   your mum should have a social worker assigned even if, as in our case, they have discontinued their case with your mum... they have reactivated our case to look into my questions...

    the home may have certain rules regarding their clients but I think you might find, in the event that they are looking to relocate your mum, that they might be flexible as to the exact date, which would give you valuable extra time to find an alternative ..

    there are always many options and finding the best within a set time is always difficult but if you are 'on the case', so to speak, you will probably find that there is a chance to extend the timeframe whilst you find the best...

    Dont give up.. it Mum needs extra help, that her current home cannot give, then it will be better that she move... best to try find a place that would be suitable for the time she needs longterm and make this the last move for her (however traumatic for all concerned, not least your mum, in the near future)..


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  • Posted

    Hi Harry. I read your post and realize your hearty concern for your mother who is presently in a home care. You may not need to shift her in other  home care again as there are certain option for you in which you can reside your mother under all the needful treatments before your eyes. There are numerous home care nursing providers who offer well trained nursing facilities to the elderly people enduring from old age illness. This decision can also help to keep  your mother mentally fit as she is with her family. Severity of any illness can be minimized by exceptional personal care and emotionally support.

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  • Posted

    Hi Harry it's a trying time when you have to move your loved ones, but the care home will know her background, what stage she is at, and if they have the capability of caring for her at that stage.i would say it's down to funding, more advanced dementia is a drain on the family like why doesn't she recognise me , she's loosing weight , worrying times ahead but to be honest that person isn't who she was and is most likely very happy wherever she is , saying that upheaval is only a problem for the family not the resident my mum was in the new neurological centre at Peterborough it's fantastic to say the least highly trained staff, maybe you can look on the cQc site
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  • Posted

    Hi Harry,

    As much as I am not able to offer medical advice, I hope that from your search and the various supportive notes rendered here you are able to find a best fit for your Mammy. My partner's Mammy had the same condition as your Mum. He looked after his Mammy himself and at the end had to put her in the hospital. There are not many men like yourself Harry. You are doing a great job!

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