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Dont care anymore

Posted , 5 users are following.

k8861
k8861

Never thought Id ever feel this way ahain...but.. i want to die. Dont care anymore and neither does anyone else...i have no hope for a future other than more of the same, that is, this reality. My gp made me realise there is no hope for me and Ill be alone forever. Ive been able to act on it as of yet as im scared too..scared of failure..scared of successfully completing suicide too. Will I go to hell? Probably. Thats my biggest fear. Too scared to phone crisis numbers as I dont know what to say..my default is "no im fine no worries" when asked or speaking out loud so I think thats all that would come out......

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • Hakuna_matata
    Hakuna_matata k8861

    Posted

    Hi I'm not on this site anymore, but yours story rings so true to me it's not even funny so I had to message you.

    I know exactly what your going through exactly this was me three weeks ago don't do like I did I realise the pain your in I can see it in your words

    I chose to over dose thought it would be quick easy go sleep and bam all done I took 160 co-codomol after reading 50 would do it

    Still bloody woke up the next day but sick as a dog two days go by not a problem third day got stomache cramps after constant pain for 4 days I go the Drs sent me for bloods I've goosed my liver if it don't repair or there's not a solution my liver will shut down it'll then allow the blood to fill with toxins and have a knock on effect to all my organs until I die of multiple organ failure nice thought right slow and painful it'll be I hear lol

    Be careful what you wish for springs to mind

    If your dr has made you feel your beyound help change your damn doctor

    You are never beyound help your worth more than malevolent thoughts your just lost in the darkness let done one turn the light on for you

    Thinking of you mike

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 Hakuna_matata

      Posted

      Hey mike send us a pm let me tell u about my first day at the gym i cant get u im not on fb xxx
  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 k8861

    Posted

    Hi there k8861. I care if u die wether i know u or not. U are brave enough to tell us here on the forum say exactly the same to the crisis team at hosp or to yr dr . After weeks of treatment that could change everything. Ive been in your position so many times and an attempt in 2001 i was found and almost succeeded. I can never do wat i often think now as i have my daughter. When were ill we cant see it but wow the worlds an amazing place. Lots of glorious things to see explore & ppl to meet and yes ive had that said to me wen suicidal and used a lot of swear words x but give yrself a chance. Listen to mercy me's song on youtube i can only imagine its so beautiful and helps me in time of need xx much love xx

  • Hakuna_matata
    Hakuna_matata k8861

    Posted

    Ps you say I'm suffering from depression and I am intending to hurt myself or take an overdose kill myself or anything that's all you have to say they will help you ( they won't lock you up you have my word stop being scared of that) they will make sure someone is with you that's all

    Be smart make the right choice and call them

    • phyllis11904
      phyllis11904 Hakuna_matata

      Posted

      Hi Mike, hope you are okay. Like Amanda said, I couldn't find you on Facebook either. I hope k8861 takes your advice because you have been there and know about it firsthand. Take care.

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 Hakuna_matata

      Posted

      Hi hun. As phylis just said she couldnt find u either. Ur truly missed as uve walked those dhoes v v recently. Xx hope u pop back xxx
  • vicky51471
    vicky51471 k8861

    Posted

    Hi there

    Alot of people can relate you truly. That's why I'm on here.

    I have felt low so low suicidal hurting myself.felt so alone didn't think I could talk to ANYONE. I'm older now.

    Please reach out!!!

    Your G.P how did he she " made you realise " no that is not a good doctor could you see another one? there's help out there please don't do anything. You are hurting you are a person a human being you deserve to be happy

    Most of us go along saying I'm fine when we are in fact far from it.

    I don't know your name or age but it's not too late too share.

    Please reach out..

    There are helplines , Councling, C.B.T this forum and many other therapies.

    Please reach out to a different doctor

    Vicky

    Take care

    I don't know you as you can see people care x

    • k8861
      k8861 vicky51471

      Posted

      My friend called 999. police asked me to speak to the first response mh team, which I did. I was highly distressed and the woman was telling me to not have negative thoughts and to think of things that made me better in the past. I tried to explain I was in no state to be sble yo do this. She said i was rude and non collaborative. I was shaking made worse. Rang gp as i didnt know who to call next she was supportive. Nurse with police arranged (supposedly) an assessment with nurse at hospital but when i got there saw a mind worker who just said they try talking with them first and as im under mh team already i need to call the team tomorrow.
  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 k8861

    Posted

    Hey have u sought any help? Hoping you have n hoping yr ok. Want you to know were thinking of you ♡♡♡ xxx mandy xx
    • amanda35274
      amanda35274

      Posted

      Just seen the text above sorry. Hope u get somewhere with the team tomorrow xxxxx
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