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Had my 2nd baby and started worryin about my healing. Since then nearlly 3 years ago ive had trouble with the toilet. Constipation. Got the occassional bloating. Went doctors had a look etc. All fine. I started worrying aboit bowel cancer out of no where. Then u saw loads of sfories aboit it etc as ypu donwhen you fixate on something.
One day all of a sudden i started getting a really weird feeling of tightness in my stomach. I was convinced i had it. Then i must of been sat funny sfood up amd conplerly fell over. Had a panic attack thinking i had ms or something or i was aboit to pass oit alone wirh a baby in the hoise. That night i woke woth the worse oanic artack from my sleep. Was also geting the worse cramps ever.
Went to gp abojt my stomach tightness and jjst being unconfortsble. Did testz inclduing gyna, bloods ultrasounf, stool test. All back fine. The more inthibknthe more i worry tje worse my belly feels. This is 24/7 feeling. I feel worse as soon as i do go toilet though which is weird. Im totally fixated on my dtomach so much so i sometimes can feel my food moving theough my belly.
I cant be mtself. I canr enjoy amything. I feel sick and tired all the time. This has beem going on badly since november. I was tjat bad ince i stsrted having an attack and i had to run to the toiket. Ive been told it could be ibs. But this isnt on amd off this is constant.
Can this be anxiety? I dont think so. So fed up. I often thibk negarively and wonder why people can be so happy. I often cry over no knowing amd jdt feeling overwhelmed but obeewhelmed wirh life. More aboit whats the point. I am absoloitly PETRIFIED of dieing. Sometimes i look at my children and feelnsorry for tjem and think shoimd i have broufht tjem intontjw world when i dont know wjays round tje corner. I cant protect them from illness etc. It makes me physically cry thinking wjat if. If i hear a story aboit a yoing mum or dad dieing i foxate on it. Wondering why?! All i rhinknis why?! Whays the point?
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