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Dont want to go on.

Posted , 7 users are following.

m16187
m16187

If I had a nickel for every time I've been called "passive-aggressive".....I'd have a lot of nickels. I live life one failure at a time. I'm truly losing the will to live. I choose to help people...work hard...smile when I can..yet somehow I'm always the target. In life and work. I know I won't be missed. Been silent for a long time. No one calls me...no one even wants to send a text message to me....I've been bullied by the best....and now I'm the one everyone hates.....figure that one out! I want to go quickly. Don't want to hurt anyone...just don't want to live anymore. Don't want pity either. My family is...well...not really sure how to put this....not close......I'm the youngest child...the unwanted pregnancy...lol.....and I've had to fight and struggle for what little I have in life...much more than most people I've ever met. Constantly being targeted by using people. I'm about to give them their wish soon. A world without me. I'm not sure what else to say...nuff said I guess

3 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • jasmine7817
    jasmine7817 m16187

    Posted

    Plz don't...i dont even know u but i can feel ur pain thru ur words. Im so very sorry things r so hard right now. Plz hold on???!!! If not for urself, then plz hold on for a stranger who has a heart thats hurting for u right now sad

    • m16187
      m16187 jasmine7817

      Posted

      Thank you for your words. Your soul is kind jasmine. I have no strength left in my body or soul to continue with my life of failure. You can carry the flame. I've never thought of myself as someone who was in a hurry to see the other side...but choice is not a luxury I have anymore. I have maybe 5 days left. If I have a guardian angel....that angel I'm pretty sure is on a coffee break....don't hurt for me. That's almost always a mistake. Bless you jasmine.

    • jasmine7817
      jasmine7817 m16187

      Posted

      Its not a mistake, to hurt for u. Do u have ANYTHING that brings u joy...anything u can hang on for???? Why am i so drawn to ur comment??? Plz hang on...
    • m16187
      m16187 jasmine7817

      Posted

      Someone who called himself my best friend recently said that he would cover my morning shift ..I couldn't face work that next day because my mom was just put in an ICU. Instead he went in and told my employer that I quit. 6years of back breaking work and the best wage I ever had gone. Unemployment sided with my millionaire employers so ...facing eviction....blackballed in this town...22 applications and not a single call...I don't think I can live out of my car again...or a tent...I'm about to lose everything...family pretends to care...then they just try to use me. My phone bill is due soon..I can't pay it...won't make rent either. I have nothing left. This world never wanted me to exist..I firmly believe this. A tall building is what I need. This life is pointless.

  • jasmine7817
    jasmine7817 m16187

    Posted

    I dont have anything extraordinary or mind-blowing to say...im just a simple person. Plz, just please, hang on...
  • katherine_18195
    katherine_18195 m16187

    Posted

    There are so many wonderful things in this world to live for. Please give yourself more time. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

    • m16187
      m16187 katherine_18195

      Posted

      I'm 49 katherine.  And at the end of my rope.  I have nothing wonderful keeping me here in this world. I'm running out of time very quickly.  I'm not sure why I've been screwed over so badly by people,..Maybe the problem is me.  Maybe I come off wrong.  I've been told in the past that I scare people,...I'm intimidating,..I'm really not sure how I pull that off,..not even aware I'm acting or coming off that way.  Either way,..It's probably better that I either find a tall building or bridge,..in the end,..no one will remember me.  People who take their own lives are usually labelled a coward.  I really don't care.  I won't be here to hear it.  Thank you for your words though.  Wish there were more people near me like you guys.  But,..well,..there aren't.  

  • Wilb
    Wilb m16187

    Edited

    Are you taking meds? Depression is terrible and I suffer with it also! I ask myself why me many times and I have been through this 4 times and each time I come out stronger! If not on meds get to a doctor or psychiatrist to help you fight this battle! You can win! 
    • steven43881
      steven43881 Wilb

      Posted

      I'm lonely, too. I'm alone almost every day !!

    • m16187
      m16187 Wilb

      Posted

      No Wilb,...I'm not on any medication.  I have no health insurance because I decided to pay rent & bills and do silly stuff like eat,..put gas in my car etc.  lol.   I don't care to live out of the back of a car or behind a state park in the woods again.  I can't do it.  The battle is already lost.  

  • alan56015
    alan56015 m16187

    Edited

    I swear a better day will come. I feel like crap most days too. Life is tough but each setback makes you stronger. Some people seem to have everything given to them. The lucky ones. Try reading The Happiness Trap.
    • m16187
      m16187 alan56015

      Posted

      thank you for your words alan.  I was never handed anything on a silver platter.  What little I have I had to rip up alot of knuckles,.bleed,..sweat and damn near kill myself to get.  I'm alot of things.  But "Lucky" is not one of those things. 

    • alan56015
      alan56015 m16187

      Edited

      You sound like such a lovely down to earth person. Try to give yourself some "me" time and don't beat yourself up. Easier said than done I know. Keep letting your frustrations out on this forum as its a great release and most of us are in the same boat. Take care

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