Dr. told me today I was having a nervous breakdown so what comes next?

Thank you so much for your response. My doctor and I do have a very close relationship.  She is quite adamant regarding my blood labs being done very regularly because of the amount of meds I take.  The are full workups including Thyroid, Cholesterol, Triglicerites etc.. last one was mid Feb. I have had depression for many years and from what I understand it is quite the family trait. My great-gradfather would say he was "blue".  I work for a global company and the stress is always extremely high at work. The first of the year there were realignments and my new supervisor used to be a co-worker with me on the same level. I know her to be a liar and to have low morals regarding our last supervisors, kind of how she was promoted.  I know that sounds like sour grapes but it's not.  I have no interest in being in a management or supervisory position. 8 years and have never had any issues with my production.  I dreaded the change to having her as my supervisors as I know how she is and how she feels about me. From the start she has made it extremely difficult regarding working with my medical conditions where there had been no issues in the past. I had been permitted to work from home several times a month when my health would not permit me to drive. 1 1/2 years with no issues, but now it's a problem and I had to jump through hoops to get intermitant leave when I couldn't travel and then was told I could not work from home until I juped through hoops with medical notifications and human resourses and then they would have a meeting to see if they wanted to approve it or not.  I was called into her office to be informed I was receiving a point for clocking in 1 minute late that day. (10 point in a rolling calendar year -will get you sacked).  Funny how she was aware I was 1 minute late but when I asked her if (I'll call him Bob) if Bob was okay she looked confused and asked why, why wouldn't he be okay.  "Well he hasn't come into work".  She was unaware the co-worker next to me had not shown up but was very aware I was 1 minute late. Too late for "long story short" but it has been coming on like I said more and more since the beginning of the year and then on 5/5 I just couldn't move at all to get up and prepare for work. Work is not the only stress in my life, but although it has been coming on for a while I quite suddenly could do absolutely nothing. Spouse is non responsive. He is retired on disability and it seems his concerns are that I go to work. If I am home ill he does not like it and gets perturbed about it. In the time I've been off since 5/4 he has said only 3 things to me regarding me being in bed ill. on 5/5 "You're not going to work?", 5/11 "Aren't you going to go to work" and 5/13 "Are you getting paid?" Not once "How are you feeling? or What's wrong? Are you okay? nothing. (aplogize for this being so lengthy.

First, I believe she should see your GP to re-evaluate your medication but I think it is dangerous when poeple tell you to don't rely on medication or to stop your medication all together.  What you need is a wholistic approach that includes medication and counselling.  Secondly, I understand what you are going through with work.  After kidney surgery three years ago I continued to be ill and suffer from pain so I had to work out a reduced duties plan.  A lot of my co-workers were not very sympathic and begrudged me taking on some of the 'easier' tasks.  This caused more stress and hence more sick days until I eventually called it quits and resigned in November last year.  I do plan to go back to university but am using the time in the interim to try to get better.  I kind of get where your partner is coming from.  He has probably been depending on you to keep working so you can keep paying the bills and keep a roof over your heads.  But with you being ill, he is probably suffering from bad anxiety about both of your futures.  What you need to do is to have an open conversation with him about what is going to happen if you need to take some extended leave from work and how you are going to cope financially.  The focus needs to be on both of you getting well.

I sat down with my partner and explained the various way my next 2 pays will come in, and then after that my pays will be via Short Term Disability...75% of my regular pay until I return to work or until I use up all STD time available, which I believe is up to 26 weeks. So he has that information now, so I wonder how involved he will get the process of a psychiatrist and counseling. I srsly doubt he will involve himself much at all.

Thank you so much. Yesterday was incredibly tough.  I finally fell asleep around 4 AM while watching Agatha Christies Miss Marple. It occured to me my journey is going to be quite the Mystery Detective story. Find the clues, follow the clues and try to solve the mystery. Please don't abandon me. I'm no Miss Marple and even she pulled in aide to help her.  (((hugs))) to you if you have gone or are going though this. Your positive attitude gives me hope. X

People always ask "How are You?"  My resonse has been "Woke up breathing, so must be doing okay." First because I know they don't really care nor want to hear how I am and second because I feel waking up breathing is probably the only good thing I can expect to happen. Even that fact really doesn't give me joy but it's better than a poke in the ear with a pointed stick. I don't know if yesterday was Day 1 of this thing or if today is Day 1.  Either way I realize this is the beginning of something and I appreciate all positive thoughts and ideas as I sort out which route is best for me on my journey.

Wow very empowering message

I have reread your posting and you have a lot of good advice regarding meditation, relaxing and looking within oneself to help heal oneself. I do not totally agree with not taking medication. The human body is made up of so many different things that all work together and rely on each other in order to function. For instance your mouth is made to work as a perfectly fuctioning machine. This is why for the most part we are able to bite, chew, move food from one side of the mouth to the other, and even though rude, talk with our mouths full and swallow. Unless something is out of whack we do all this without thinking about it and we do it without chewing our tongue, cheeks and lips to shred. If we begin doing this then we do something about it. Get our teeth straightened, find out how to get rid of the infection that is causing swelling, or find out what is wrong with our electrical currents that cause us to keep biting that tongue. That is where either a supplement or medication is required. With that in mind I do believe something can be amiss with us biologically that is causing us to not function properly emtionally and mentally. So I do believe we may need a medication to correct the biological issue but not to rely solely on that to heal us. Medication should not be used as a permenant crutch or emotionally and mentally we will never become strong again. Just as if you used crutches to walk all the time you would lose the muscle tone needed to walk without them. Yes use them as long as necessary to help mend what is broken but begin the physical therapy as soon as possible to regain the strength needed to walk alone.

 My view is that we have evolved for millions of years to have brains in perfect equilibrium, the right level of seretonin, dopamine, endorphins etc. We are not supposed to be living in this competitive, capitalist, socially inept society. Were supposed to live in small, loving communities with many friends and no real stresses. Throughout our whole lives we are shamed, shamed from a young age for not being cool enough, not getting our homework in, often we are mentally and physically abused. All these thing stay with you, they add up over the years and lead to a reduction in the feel good chemicals in your brain - this unhappiness and anxiousness is telling you that something is wrong. However, it can be fixed without medication. It can be fixed by looking into your past and healing old wounds - its an easy thing to do with the right knowledge, I really reccommend reading 'Healing your Aloness' it will start you on the healing process. Soon after starting this work the chemical balance in your mind will start to return naturally. You will be happy at a level you have never felt before. Trancendental meditation also works by reversing the process of abuse that everyone in modern society has been through from a young age, it is much more profound and real than just relaxing. 

I respect your opinion on medication, I may well be looking at it through a subjective lense and I really hope that it works for you. But I still strongly suggest you have a go at the readings and works I have suggested in conjunction with the medication. The meds may hinder the healing process slightly but they can certainly be used in conjunction with each other, and when you have built up your psychological knowledge base and have been practicing your healing work you will know when you are ready to come off the meds! You really are on the right track......... looking for solutions, and you will find them! Please read the books I have mentioned and take the messages on board....... and let me know how you are getting on with them.

And again I cant stress strongly enough how much Trancendental Meditation will help you, along side the work from the books I've suggested. TM costs 290 quid and you need to learn it from a trained proffesional, go to the website to find your local teacher. In the mean time do your research into the benifits of it-  look it up on youtub, maybe type in 'Celebraties on Trancendental meditation' to hear it from some faces you may trust'.

Good luck