Drinking alot less, partner isn't.

Congrats ! I need to ask my doctor about this did you suffer anxiety and or depression also?!

'but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to lose the buzz.'

Yep, that is quite normal for people, who don't see a need to cut down or quit.

'And how can u fix someone who doesn't want to stop?'

You can't, is the simple answer, it only works if they want to.

As Joanna or I would say, there is no magic pill.

If you have something like Selincro or Campral (different medications for different circumstances), you can easily stop it from working, by deliberately drinking on Campral, even when it is working, just because you want a night out in the pub or by not following the simple instructions for Selincro.

Most people who come here, realise they have a problem and WANT to sort it out. They have looked elsewhere, perhaps been to their GP and not got anywhere. And they are prepared to make a real go of it.

I don't have the solution, but you have to make him WANT to cut down. What you are going to have to deal with, is over a longer period, of you really cutting back and him doing nearly two bottles of wine a night, you will find yourselves on different levels. You may come to resent him for this, it's a difficult one.

Well, you could wait a bit. If he's at two bottles, That seems to be a common spot where people decide they want to do something about it. Maybe talk to him about it while he's hungover. Not everybody notices that much of a difference in how drinking feels on Naltrexone, it's mainly that the addicted part of your brain won't recall that you enjoyed the drink that causes one to lose interest. 

Beyond that, it's just like RHGB says. Getting someone to quit an addiction when they're not even motivated to try, very tough indeed. It may be that he feels you drifting away, feels he's more isolated in the relationship and that makes him anxious. Now you're leaning on him to cut back/quit. Stand in his shoes, if you can?

That aside, congratulations on your progress with TSM and on a healthier you!

I'm in the same situation. I managed to stop completely, but my wife drinks most days and then it is too much. She gets a bit aggressive, then depressed and usually goes to bed very early. Some days she will not drink because she knows it is a problem. I just think sometimes that as she is wheelchair bound and aged 78, that it doesn't matter anymore. It's good to see her cheer up after the first drink, but it doesn't last very long. 

The major problem here is that your partner either doesn't want to stop or cut down, or isn't ready.

You're fighting a loosing battle if he doesn't want to stop. It's like the old saying "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

He probably knows deep down that he needs to address his drinking, seeing how well you're doing might make him think that it will be harder for him and that he won't succeed.

He is bringing home wine for you to try to justify his drinking. His rational is that as long as you're still drinking he can continue too. That's a common trait with AUD sufferers. I've done that many times years ago.

You may find yourself having to make a hard decision sometime in the future and only you yourself know if you're happy being with a drinker. Trying to make someone do something they don't really want to do, is not conducive to a happy relationship 

Hey there Nat, I would say there is probably a lot more to this, otherwise like me at times you would be writing forever! Does he acknowledge that he has a problem? If you feel you dont need to drink when he brings drink home, to be honest just dont drink it, you dont have to. Your proving to you and him that it isnt needed and that you want to be in a different place in  your life in general and just mentally overall.

You and i both know he brings it home to justify his own drinking. By encouraging you to drink, it kind of makes him not feel so bad about his own drinking habits/addictions.

He is not in a good place and i know deep down you know that from experience. Its still very hard at times i am sure for you now and i know you mentioned that you still have some alcohol at times.

If there is anything we both know it is that people who have issues with alcohol will go to any length to make others think its ok,. We both know that it isnt. But it thats what people do.

I hope you really dont think im over stepping the mark...Do you really want to be with him? Would a break help for a while? Is there any chance you could stay with friends or family for a while to give you both time to work this out. The strange thing is that on his side, i am sure that if this is a relationship meant to be is that he loves you so much inside its just that he is not in a good place right now. My partner and i spoke on the phone earlier and agreed that even though i am very lonely right now, the distance for a while has maybe been a good thing. We both know he has to want to get over this ultimately for himself but also for you if your going to be together.

The way things are with you now must be very hard for you to deal with mentally and its not fair for you to be set back. As always keep posting and keep in touch. You have helped me loads by the way. All your other messages about my situation have meant so much. I hope in some way i can help you too.