Dumped by bipolar boyfriend !

hi linda im afraid theres no rhyme or reason with bipolar.. i was with my ex for about a year,still in the honeymoon stage, very much in love and all the trimmings. one day she went to see her daughter and i said text me when you get there etc etc and to this day ive never seen or heard from her again. she ignored all forms of correspondance texts and letters all pleading with her to atleast explain why and all was met with silence. very hard to come to terms with, very hard to begin to understand. the only advice i can give you is that in basic laymans terms... they cannot give you an answer because they cannot explain there behaviour. theres forums online which are very helpfull all written not just by bipolar sufferers but the partners who have to deal with the fall out. untill you start to understand abit why they do the things which to us are heartless, cold and unbelievable will you get any closure. its not all doom and gloom, some come back, some will keep in touch but usually to blame you for everything ie it was all your fault etc but for my own experiance, mine stayed silent. im here if you need to chat... daz

Dear linda49693,

Hope you're well. I am sorry to hear the situation with your boyfriend. However, I would like to tell you a little bit about Bipolar Affective Disorder.

Bipolar Disorder is a VERY difficult Disorder, for the patient, for the doctor and for the entire family and care team involved. Your boyfriend is probably taking one of the treatments recommended for the disorder. These treatment options have variable side effect profiles.

Your boyfriend may be reacting/adjustment to side effects of his treatment. Try and empathise with him. It'll be very difficult, but he needs you more than ever now. Try and ignore his massive mood swings as that is the principle symptom of Bipolar Disorder. You will in time see improvement in his entire mental health and well-being.

I wish you the best.

Kind regards,

Manun

sounds like he is in crisis, confused. Maybe he needs space for a bit x

I go through periods of not knowing if I love my husband. I get very anxious, sick, exhausted, and the worst of all numb. Where I don't even care what happens. It's an awful feeling and its hard to remember when im unstable that thoughts and feels don't have to dictate your whole world. But medication sides have been known to do this the worst to me. I'd never leave my husband. I know i have an illness and when I'm completely stable i know thats not how i honestly truly feel. it gets hard to remember that though. I don't know how he deals with it. But hes the kindest, most supportive person out there. i always want to be stable and in great mental health to be a better person mostly for him.

Just before my husband got diagnosed a few years ago, he had a complete meltdown. He decided he felt trapped in our relationship (we weren't married at this point) and wanted out. He then came back a few days later, saying he loved me and I was his life but then left me a note whilst I was at work 2 days later saying he couldn't cope and he needed to leave. He came to get his stuff from our house and cried the whole time he was packing and we spent a month or 2 apart. He then got diagnosed and started sorting himself out. He majorly regretted leaving and I had to tell him that if he left again, I wouldn't accept him back. we've got a child now and the black of sleep is getting to him. I've accepted that things will always be difficult but I am very clear about what behaviours I will and won't accept from him. You have to decide if you can cope with things like this and not allow it to become abusive.

dear linda i have been thinking that am only person who is experiencing this in the world.

Its really hurt,and sometime i lost it,he has been blocking me but he dumped me for like 46times ,but yesterday he asked me about what happened in our past,we argued abit,then he ended up blocking me everywhere and we are in long distance relationship.

i really dont know what to do.

Hi Linda, I have just had a similar experience...please read my story and give me your thoughts? I am really devasted and I need help

me an my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now he told me he has bipolar when we first got together but i didn't care id tell him if he needs me im here but in the 3 years he has left come back cried with me he is sorry an then left an come back it seems to happen about every 6-8 months this last time tho we both really tired to work on us an made it to 10 months but now he seems to be doing the same thing as before but this time at least not yet not talking to other girls he says he loves me a lot an that im to good for him an that he dose not think he can make me happy like i deserve then later it also changed to in this time are was working on us he changed an was doing better but i didn't work on myself an yes i did but not like i said i would i got side tracked helping him an idk where all this came from he was acting weird all week an i would ask what was wrong an he would say nothing then all this happen an he is saying we might break up cuz he is afraid to hurt me i dont want to lose him with bipolar or not he is the best thing that happen to me an im willing to do almost anything just to get him to realize im here for him forever but in is also heavily influenced by his family an none of them really like me i just dont know what to do any advise plz would be great thank u

Linda i am in the same boat right now

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half now he has impulsivly "dumped" me now three times. he says its not because of his bipolar, but i know when his attitude and mood change and its been bad recently. I love him so much and dont know what to do as well i think giving them both space to figure out whats triggering it is the best option although a hard one

hi Linda i feel your pain for 16 years i have dated the love of my life! we got 13 yr old son. Its now been 10 weeks he left us after saying his head is a mess he's trying to sort it out. and i have to forget about him and find someone new. hes been diagnosed with bi polor disorder and adhd, he told me he loved me n that we were going on holiday abroad we watched a film that night 3 days later he was gone am beyond broken

hi i can only tell you of my experience . my partner has bi polar . every single time she had a episode she left me .. wanted someone new . new life new job new everything .. then there were the crushes uncontrolable crushes during mania . for usually a boss or whomever . was convinced they were secretly in love with her n that it was destiny ect ..

would say im sorry i love you but i dont feel the same atteaction .. so i would let them go . once they became well .. they would be distraught at leaving me . it was almost as if they were 2 different people . when well we were blisfully happy together . when unwell they became unrecognisable and it would break my heart . this went on for 13 years .. same pattern .. .. after our relationship finally ended i found out that they also had one night stands during the mania that they had kept secret from me

when well or should i say more stable minded deep deep regret and the claim she couldnt live without me . Even now she still even though we no longer live together wants to text or turn constantly back to me . this is hard to deal with as i can not just simply ignore her as many times she suffers with suicidal phycotic episodes .. all of this is a terrible drain and no matter how much i love her this cycle is never ending .. so i would suggest you think very seriously before becoming emotionly involved with a person suffering with bi polar .. you must truely love them .. n be prepared for heartache