Eating disorder

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I need help as a carer, first of all i will tell you where iv been for help then whats going on. iv been to my GP, my local mental health hospital, private councillors, the norfolk mental health board, the nhs, even my MP, and nobody can help.

My partener of 21 years has got anorexia, she has had this for about 30 years, on and off, we have 3 children together ages 19, 17 and 14.

after 5 years of complaining to all of the above we fianally got an appointment to see a phycriatrist, who after 30 mins desided to say she has a simple eating disorder!!!!!!!  

Now to me a simple eating disorder dont do the things she does, like threaten to stab me with a knife, teaches our 17 year old daughter the ways of an anorexic ( now she is just about 5 stone and very ill ), mentally attacks our youngest daughter most of the time and constantly without failier mentally attacks me every time she opens her mouth.

this has got to much so she moved out leaving the children with me, but still mentally attacks us all, all of the time. 

She has no feelings at all, unless she talks to a PROFFESSIONAL  then she laughs and jokes like nothing is wrong. 

As we live in the waveney area there is not alot of help.

Do anyone know what or where i can go next for help not just for me for my family and now ex partener. 

PLEASE HELP SOMEONE IM DESPERATE.

Thank you

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    oh my goodness

    you do need to find someone who can support you and the children, and fast. and your partner of course.

    but this sounds really bizzare that all the obvious people seem to have decided there is nothing to be done.

    as a last resort - have you tried the police or the social services?

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  • Posted

    Yeh iv been to social services , and they only monitor whats going on, nothing else.

    Also the police wont get involved as its a doctors matter, so i just keep going round in circles, this really is too much. I really need help and there seems to be nowhere i can go, even the help lines only open at certian times. and to be honest they really aint no help. 

    Today has again been a nightmare with hell from my ex and i cant get to see my doctor to talk to him till the 17 oct, dont know how much more i can take.

    But thanks for your reply though, at least someone listened.

     

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    • Posted

      Well I'm not sure on what to do. have you tried reasoning with your wife and telling her to confront her fears. Have you spoken to your kids and maybe show them the dangers of what she is doing to them. No offence but you seem to be on your own against all of them and I don't know what else you can do. Try what I suggested and post back if you need help. Good luck and sorry to hear about that again 
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  • Posted

    Thanks for the reply, like i said its nice that some one listenes.

    Iv tried to talk to my children and the only one that seems to understand is the middle one ( 17 ) but i dont like to talk to her about it to much as her mother has taught her the ways of the anorexic and she is about 6 stone at the moment but without the bad attitude. the good thing is that she is getting help. I have even told her therpist whats going on and she dont know what to suggest either.

    And due to legal reasons she cant comment on my ex.

    Its a crazy mad thing that is happening and as i said before ther is nowhere to turn.

     

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  • Posted

    We'll glad your daughter is getting better but I'm here for you. Mind if I ask, has your wife been ok lately or still, you know
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  • Posted

    No my ex has if anything got worse, she is only about 7 stone at 5'10, but her main problem is that she has no emotions what so ever and all she is interested in is exersizing and mentally bullying me and the children, when we seperated she even got a court order to allow her to come round mine to see the children cos there is no way i could let her have the children back at hers, dont know what she would do.

    I have looked up a thing called sexual anorexia and this sounds like what she has mixed with axorexia, and t has taken 5 years for her to get to see someone and they said its a simple eating disorder, ( i know different ) they should try living with her for a week.

     

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    • Posted

      how on earth did she manage to get a court order?

      this just doesn't make sense ....

      you are seeing all the 'right' people and they are not helping. am confused (on your behalf).

      that doesn't help you with this situation, but it's baffling! unless you speak to a solicitor to try and get legal advice?

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  • Posted

    Thanks again for the replys it much appreciated, Yes iv spoken to her and tried to explain what she is doing and she tends to think that nothing is wrong with her hence when she sees a doctor or so on thats the problem she has to ask for help before anyone will give it, unless they feel like she is gonna hurt herself or someone else.

    iv explained to the doctor that she is causing us all mental damage but untill she actually hurts someone physically there is nothing he can do, i know its crazy.

    you should be here with us and see it for yourself and yes i have video'd her but its not allowed without her permission and then that started her off again even worse.

    I have also spoken to 2 differant solistitors about this problem and they have told me that due to the nature of whats going on that it would be such a hard case to battle and that would cost me thousands.

    I have a doctors appointment on friday again so im hoping that he will try something else to help me, not just offer me anti depressants.

    Thanks again for all your support.XX

     

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