Eating Disorder
Posted , 4 users are following.
Im 16, female, ive recently been diagnosed with an eating disorder, i weigh 5st 9 and am 5ft 4. I know im skinny, always have been, but i dont see it that way uness im stood next to someone who i see as slim and realise im way smaller than them. I dont let myself eat as much as i dont want to gain weight, on paper i do but physically i feel i want to lose weight, i look at my legs and think they are chunky even though in the back of my mind i know that they really arent. I feel like im having a constant fight in my head whether i should eat to be healthy but then fighting the urges not to eat as atm they are the stronger thoughts. I am sared of making myself ill but i finally feel this gives me control over my life, i lost my dog and grandad very recently and suddenly and hate the fact i have no control ove any of it. However this is do, if ive been good and not eaten alot in the day ill eat a bit later on, i eat enough to keep myself going but no way near enough to put on the weight im being told i should put on. I feel sick after and before i eat which also reduces how much i eat. I dont look at myself as beautiful at all and have always been rather shy and lacking in self confidence which is also what i believe may have stimulated these issues. Any advice on how i can change the way i think about myself?
0 likes, 6 replies
katlouise1989 Jodie0108
Posted
Hi Jodie.
Thank you for sharing. The most important thing you can do is reach out for help, from your GP. You are very poorly, and I'm sure you know how much damage you are doing to yourself, but it is just worth being reminded about the reality. I have osteopenia in my spine, and this is irreversible. Others suffer with infertility, cardiac problems and so on. The bottom line is eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illness, and people do die.
In order to work through your thinking, cognitive behavioural therapy is very effective, but whilst you are still restricting and at a low weight, you are not able to engage fully. This is why you need the support of an outpatient treatment team.
I am now 27 and have suffered since the age of 11. I have been hospitalised three times, once for 6 months. For the first time ever, I feel in control and that I can do it, I can recover. I have recently hit my target weight, and am learning to maintain. The work I am doing with my therapist as well is helping, but it takes constant effort.
There is no magic solution, you need to keep working at it, and it is so hard to do it on your own, but it is so worth it! Please get help.
Jodie0108 katlouise1989
Posted
Thankyou for your reply, I am getting help just the doctors tale so long, my first hospital appointment is just before Christmas, it's rediculous how long it takes to see someone.
Thankyou for sharing your story as it really opens my eyes to how I could effect myself, but also makes me feel alot less alone.
I will look into different therapy I could be offered to help me, thankyou ?
I'm glad to hear you are doing so much better! Makes me realise I can over come this with the correct support ?
Best wishes
katlouise1989 Jodie0108
Posted
Yes...don't get me started on eating disorder waiting times, it is supposed to be improving. If you feel able to, then please write a letter to your local MP explaining the circumstances, because legislation means that people should now be seen within 4 weeks, and 2 if it is an emergency.
The more people write to their MPs the better!
Anyway, what I would suggest practically is to book and see your GP and push to get seen sooner. It sounds like you are struggling.
Have a look at beat, the eating disorder charity as they provide self help groups, including online ones, that you may find helpful. The Big White Wall is a helpful resource too.
Kind regards,
Kat
Jodie0108 katlouise1989
Posted
Kind regards
Jodie
karina53122 Jodie0108
Posted
You and I sound like we have a lot in common!
I was the biggest introvert in school, only finished last year mind you. And I felt exactly the same. My self esteem was incredibly low. I guess it's because I associated pointless things such as looks with success.
Overtime I just had to teach myself that those things don't matter, so I put tonnes of effort into school and sport. People started to like me because of those things, so I didn't care about material things and vanity.
It's really hard though. I'm still extremely self conscious but I try to focus on other things. If people have a subjective opinion on appearance, you personally can't help it. There's no pleasing everyone. Especially yourself in this circumstance, you'll always see your "flaws" and not be good enough. So just screw everyone and be you! The best thing you can do is not care! Although that's the hardest thing to do....
Basically, the best advice I can give you to boost your esteem is to get involved in other things to keep your mind off appearance. Join a sport, become passionate about something else, so you won't be "obsessed" about your diet and in turn appearance...
Keep us updated Hun!! Xx
KPips Jodie0108
Posted
Hi
My heart goes out to you - my daughter is a couple of years younger than you and is recovering from anorexia. She had a few months stay as an inpatient in a specialist eating disorders hopsital. She is your height, but at her lowest weight was just under a stone heavier than you are. Her body was showing signs of shutting down and we were lucky that she got hospitalised when she did. I don't have any tips on trying to change how you feel as I don't suffer from it myself, but the other posters in here have gave you some good advice. My daughter used to try and cut corners any way she could to stop her from eating alot, but the truth is, our bodies need food to survive. I understand you are on a waiting list to be seen, but I urge you to go back to the doctor again - can your mum not push for you as I went absolutely nuts with the hospital doctors to get my daughter seen to quicker? x